That Is, To The Best I Can Remember It, Word For Word How That Went

March 5, 2021

Suffice it to say that I don’t always say the right thing, but I always try, and today I found myself thinking of one of the times I did say the right thing:

Me: (Casually) What are you doing?

Her: I’m eating chocolate, which means that I am going to get fat, and then you’ll stop loving me.

Me: The only way I’ll stop loving you is if you don’t share that chocolate with me, now gimme.

Sometimes The Jokes Just Tell Themselves And I Don’t Have To Say A Word

March 4, 2021

L’s Mother has been in meetings most of this week, so I haven’t seen her very often. At one point early in the week she came out and announced that she had already “wasted” six minutes of her thirty minute break, and I responded with a quick opinion of what she could have been doing with those six minutes. (Make of that what you will and judge me how you like because I don’t care because I didn’t say it to you, and it made L’s Mother laugh as I knew it would.)

Just this morning she came out of her office, announced she had ten minutes, saw that I was standing right there with a “Well?” look on my face, and she promptly collapsed in a fit of giggles on the couch.

I’m Not A Big Drinker, But I Also Hate Wasting A Good Drink

March 3, 2021

Speaking of anniversaries, today is the anniversary of the day L’s Mother first shared a drink with me . . . because we were in Vegas, the drink in question was a margarita in a glass around three feet tall, and I legitimately feared that I would die if I drank it all myself.

L’s Mother’s Only Response To My Horror Was “I Thought You Looked Fine.”

March 2, 2021

So for two years in a row now L’s Mother and I have remembered our anniversary, but I’m not personally convinced just yet this is the start of a trend because this year’s anniversary was one of those round number milestone ones that people make hard to forget. Regardless, in honor of this we decided to declare an “anniversary weekend” to celebrate (in home), and even scheduled Friday and Monday off to make it an extra long weekend. (Business obligations precluded us for taking the actual date off, so this seemed like a good compromise.)

But I suppose it wouldn’t be our anniversary if something wasn’t forgotten, and today, having properly looked in the mirror for the first since Thursday, I realized I had forgotten to shave to the extent that even the Man of La Mancha production would have sent me home . . .

I’d Have Declared Her The Winner Too

March 1, 2021

I’m 80 years old. I need one more cheap thrill, since my doctor told me I only have another 25 years left.

Miskel Spillman‘s winning entry (in 25 words or less) in Saturday Night Live‘s “Anyone Can Host” contest

Appearances Can Be Deceiving

February 26, 2021

This is one of those days that my thoughts and emotions keep slamming against my consciousness like storm waves pounding the beach, but I look calm.

Crazy, Right?

February 25, 2021

The ironic thing about some people believing that I “must be crazy” just because I don’t fully agree (or even agree at all) with them on something is that I consider not agreeing with people like that a positive indicator of sanity.

Credit Where Credit Is Due

February 24, 2021

Yesterday’s post was inspired by me overhearing someone saying, “Now that I’ve started dating girls, I understand my guy friends so much better now!” and me thinking, “Yeah, that would do it.”

Admittedly, Walking A Mile In Their Shoes Might Be Less Awkward

February 23, 2021

If you really want to understand someone’s attitude toward love and dating, try dating the people that they’ve dated.

It’s Just Taking Me A REALLY Long Time

February 22, 2021

As a quick follow-up to Friday’s post, I just wanted to add that I like to think that I’ve at least graduated to “caring jerk” status, but I’m aware that some opinions out there differ, and while I appreciate the assumptions out there that L’s Mother was the catalyst for my attempted change, the truth is I started trying to change this before I met her.