It Just Leaves Me Cold

Last week I flippantly told someone that the world of legal documents “wasn’t my world,” and the more I thought about it, the less flippant it sounded to me. A world where you have to spend twenty or so minutes with a notary signing document after document is as alien to me as life in an Arctic research station. I know some people do it, and I know I could do it if I had to, but I’d have to have a powerful reason to do so, and I doubt I’d ever like it.

And Some Days The Universe Laughs At You

Yes, I was feeling pretty proud of myself the other day. This lasted right up until the following day when I went to get something from the car and it wouldn’t unlock.

Sighing heavily, I began to prepare myself to deal with what it could mean if the battery I had just tested and installed the other day was dead already, when I noticed the car’s security system (which, of course, requires power) was still active.

Turns out the battery in my key fob (which had worked the day before) had died.

Some Days You Just Have To Take Your Laughs Where You Can Find Them

“Just in case it’s not abundantly obvious,” I announced to L’s Mother yesterday, “there’s no way I’m going to be able to install the battery in the car tomorrow.”

“Why not?” she asked.

“Because I already did it,” I answered with a chuckle.

Another Thing I’ve Learned From The Information Age

While I’ve long believed in making my case as clear and concise as possible in the hopes that no one would misunderstand me, I eventually came to realize that there are always going to be some people that tell me I’m wrong no matter how clear and concise I am . . . even when I’m right. Sometime after that realization, I further realized the importance of picking my cases carefully lest I be understood more than my intent . . . especially when I’m wrong.

And She Was

So, about what I got L’s Mother . . .

Many moons back her obsession at the time was a game I had bought her, and in that game it was possible to find a bizarre (but cute) in-game pet. One day I noticed that the makers behind the game had started a Kickstarter to produce a limited number of plush versions of said pet. To make a long story short, I backed the project as soon as I saw it, and aside from checking that they’d made their goal and what the approximate shipping date would be, I didn’t give it any more thought beyond mentioning in passing to L’s Mother that I’d gotten her “something.” I truly believed that she had no idea that this plush even existed.

But in actuality, she was very much aware of this Kickstarter, but it had already closed by the time she followed up on it, and she was absolutely crushed that she had missed out. Her exact words to herself at the time (and repeated to me after the plush had arrived) were, “I hope the person who gets mine is very happy with it.”

Turns Out She DID Know What It Was (And I’ll Tell YOU Tomorrow)

“Something I ordered for you a while back finally arrived,” I told L’s Mother last night. “To be honest, I’m not sure you’re going to know what it is at first, but I know you’ll think it’s cool.”

A few moments later after she’d seen what it was:

“You GOT one?! ?!You GOT one!? !!?YOU GOT ONE?!!”

It Really Is

“I’m not happy with you,” I told our dog, Isa, last night after she had been especially obnoxious while the rest of us ate dinner. (She eats after we do because if she eats before we do, she’s still incorrigibly obnoxious and is dramatically less inclined to behave because the treat I give her after our dinner if she does behave is less appealing.) “But I’m still going to feed you, of course,” I added as I left the dinner table to prep her food.

Halfway to her bowl I paused to glance over my shoulder at the rest of the family, and slyly said, “It’s amazing how often I’ve had that thought in my life, you know.”

I Knew It Was Only A Matter Of Time

According to my Fitbit, I got seven hours of good sleep last night.

Well . . . it’s official, technology is now sophisticated enough to lie.

And, Yes, I Said It WITH My Smirk

Recently L’s Mother has been taking about wanting to get a new vehicle, and she mentioned that you could fold the back seats down in the one she was looking at, but that she “couldn’t think of any reason why we’d want to do that.”

“I can,” I said with my smirk.

She Won That Round, But There’ll Be Others

Knowing that I was feeling exhausted last night after a long day, L’s Mother made a show of awkwardly patting my shoulder. “I wanted to make a gesture,” she explained with a grin.

Smirking, I retorted with, “And now I’m feeling inspired to make a gesture of my own.”

Before I could make good on that threat with an appropriately rude gesture, however, her eyes got big and she cooed, “Aw! I can still inspire you!”