You Have A Gift For Understatement, Son

August 17, 2017

“I’m feeling unnormal,” my son told me last night as I was tucking him in.

“‘Unnormal?'” I asked.  “Does that mean you’ll be going to sleep easily tonight or what?”

He then proceeded to answer me by spewing over half his bed and a good portion of the floor next to it.

(He seems to be fine, by the way.  Just another entry in the cavalcade of life, but if you hear me using the term “unnormal” in the near future, this event is probably why.)

 

Me: Exactly!

August 16, 2017

My son, L. (six years old),  while working on a school worksheet:  These really are tricky letters!

Me:  Yep.  Definitely truth in advertising on this one.

L.:  There is truth in advertising.

Me:  Well . . . not always, but in this case, yes.

L.:  There is truth . . . and there is advertising.

“No! Just . . . NO!”

August 15, 2017

An excerpt from yesterday’s internal monologue:

There you go, pupper, puppy breakfast.  It’s a lot like doggy dinner, but in the morning and not as alliterative.  Hmmmm . . . I could make it more alliterative.   What dog-related word starts “B” . . .?

School Starts Here Today, So I Just Keep Telling Myself This

August 14, 2017

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of school, I will fear no fussing . . .

So I’m Obviously Feeling A Bit Better

August 11, 2017

And just what do you think you’re doing?  You know I’m still not feeling one hundred percent, and you picked now to start trying to tussle with me?!  It shall avail you naught, varlet!

– My response to my son attempting to pounce me in my chair right before the tickling match started.  (Full disclosure:  The above quote wasn’t exact at first, but captured the spirit of my initial reaction, so I lured him into a quick rematch so I could say those exact words.  The things I’ll do in the name of accuracy . . .)

Seems Appropriate After Yesterday’s Post

August 10, 2017

Forgive me my nonsense, as I also forgive the nonsense of those that think they talk sense.

Robert Frost

After Two Cups Full, I Was Ready To Go!

August 9, 2017

(No, the news isn’t cheery of late.  I’m not in denial . . . I’m being obstinate!)

Today I discovered that doing without morning coffee isn’t so bad when you substitute it with morning cookies provided you keep the doses the same.

I’ll Let You Know If Anything Changes

August 8, 2017

Despite yesterday’s post, I am genuinely okay.  I’m not quite sure what I did to myself (a pulled muscle is the most likely culprit), but it was . . . an experience to be sure, an experience I could definitely do without repeating.  It was a profoundly unpleasant 24 hours or so, but I seem to have made it through unscathed.

My Curiosity Is Approximately 95% Idle On This

August 7, 2017

I wonder how many people would understand what I was talking about if I used the phrase “Hemingway level of pain”?

I Was

August 4, 2017

I was looking for directions on the box on how to prepare this, and the first thing I saw was “keep frozen” and I thought to myself, “That doesn’t sound tasty at all!”

– L’s Mother’s latest attempt to see if I was really listening to her