Zzzzzzzzzzzz

December 6, 2019

Me (this morning):  I’m a little draggy, so I think I’ll go back to bed for a few- Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Me (this afternoon):  I can’t believe I slept so long, so I’d better get some catch up work done before I- Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Some Things Really Should Go Without Saying

December 5, 2019

Pharmaceutical Ad:  Do not take our product if you previously nearly died as a consequence of taking our product.

Me:  Also, do not ingest our product when it’s mixed with molten lead . . . 

Insane Insight In Action

December 4, 2019

(Let the record reflect that I do know today is the anniversary of this blog; I just don’t find that fact very interesting at this point, and, yes, it is magic to be married to me.)

Yesterday Lala misspoke and created the word “overneath,” a feat for which I initially teased her.  “Congratulations,” I facetiously told her, “for creating a nonsense word worthy of the Mad Hatter’s Tea Party; a word they would doubtlessly use to describe the placement of their saucers as they . . . stacked the cups and saucers on top of each other, making the saucers over one cup and under another . . .”

I shook my head wryly.  “Actually, that’s a pretty good word,” I had to admit.  “Congratulations.”

But Since I Coudn’t Find The Right Kind Of Mud, I Made Jasmine Instead

December 3, 2019

“I don’t have much time to make myself a cup of tea,” L’s Mother announced today.

“I can make tea,” I said before asking, “What kind of tea would you like?”

“Any kind,” she foolishly told me.

Flashing her a grin I said, “Worm and mud tea it is.”

“I don’t think worm tea would be very good,” she said with a smirk.

I nodded in agreement.  “Just mud then.”

I Was Wrong

December 2, 2019

While it’s true that “You’re never too old to make mistakes,” I really thought that by now I wouldn’t be proving and reproving that statement quite so often.

But It Just Doesn’t Feel Like A Holiday Topic To Me

November 29, 2019

I should probably follow up on what I said yesterday, and after I’ve thought about it some more, I probably will.

It’s Actually Kind Of Strange

November 28, 2019

This started as a potential throwaway joke in honor of the day, but the more I thought about it, the more I couldn’t escape the thought:

Why is it the things I’m most thankful for in life are also the things I’m least encouraged to talk about socially?

She Actually Swore At Me For That One, So I Know She Appreciated It

November 27, 2019

To put it simply, L’s Mother likes talking about food, and I prefer eating food to talking about it.  Even so, I do my best to stay engaged when she’s on the topic, and that’s no joke, but the longer the conversation goes on, the more likely it becomes that a joke will be told.

L’s Mother forget this recently, and was completely unprepared when I said, “Speaking of tempeh, the other day I read that someone is trying to create a tempeh-derived milk substitute.  They’ve had a promising start, but it may be years before they get a viable final product.”

“Really?” L’s Mother asked me.

“Yes, really,” I assured her.  “It could happen someday, but right now it’s a long, long way to tempeh-dairy.”

Since I Couldn’t Find A Production Near Me, I Decided I’d Better Trim

November 26, 2019

Me:  (thinking to myself)  I may have gone a little too long since I last trimmed my beard.

Me:  (after contimplating my reflection in the mirror for a few moments)  It’s fine so long as I’m planning to audtion for the role of Don Quixote in Man of La Mancha.

I Think I Deserved It

November 25, 2019

1st Cup Thought:  I’ll just have one cup of coffee this morning.

2nd Cup Thought:  Since apparently I didn’t see the bug in the coffee pot, now that Lala has made a fresh pot, I shall now have one bug-free cup of coffee this morning!