Words Overheard On A Drizzly Day

There’s nothing worse for me in the world than to be wet.

– Spoken by someone who presumably has never been on fire.

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And I Like It That Way

I’d be the first to admit that sometimes my sense of dignity works against me, but even when it works against me, it still works for me.

Thoughts While Listening To An Ad The Other Day

Ad:  Blah, blah.  Blah blah blah.

Me:  Yeah . . . not going to happen.  The lines are going to be terrible!

Ad:  Blah blah blah blah!

Me:  You can try and put all the positive spin on it you like, but it’s still going to be hours of standing around for a disappointing payout.

Ad:  “It’s all waiting here for you!”

Me:  And the “all waiting” part is why I don’t want to go.

And He’s Not Familiar With The History Of The Phrase

I want to make clear up front that I don’t have a horse running in this race, so to speak, but I have to give my son the point from yesterday that an awful lot of duplication of effort goes into making public restrooms “separate but equal.”

So Far I’ve Still Managed To Be Nice About It, At Least . . . So Far

My son’s getting old enough now that he’s starting to ask me the trickier questions about why certain things are the way they are, and I’m running out of nice ways to say “Sometimes people are just ridiculous.”

I Just Can’t Be

I can’t be the only person who has ever looked at their child and thought, “Why are you being so childish right now?  Oh . . . right!”

Upon Reflection

Sometimes watching your child is like watching yourself through a unfunhouse mirror.

She Then Looked At Me And Said “But You Can Use THAT If You Like.”

“Maybe you can use what she just said, Dad,” my son announced, prompting a puzzled look from his mother.

“He really wants me to write about you for Candles and Curses today,” I explained, “so he’s waiting for you to say something funny.”

“Sorry, son,” she replied, “but I can only be funny when I’m trying to be serious.”

Context Makes A Difference

The other day I saw someone and thought, “He’s looking better than I’ve seen him look in a while,” then realized I was looking not at the father, but at the son.  “Ouch, he looks terrible!” was my instant next thought.

If You’ve Never Been There, Good For You

There’s a special level of sick when you’re an adult and a parent, the “watching afternoon television” level.