For What It’s Worth

With Father’s Day fast approaching (my first, in a sense), I find myself on uncertain ground when it comes to answering questions like “What do you want for Father’s Day?”  The question frankly baffles me almost as much as the first time someone called me “Mister” and meant it.  To complicate matters, when a question baffles me like that, I tend to go deliberately over the top in my answers, most of those answers having been deemed by me as being unprintable here. (Not necessarily for the reason you might be thinking though.)  Some I consider unprintable because they’re not funny enough, some because they’re too funny to stay within my self-imposed rough PG-13 guideline, and some because they’re nobody else’s business except for the person asking the question.  (What?  I said “not necessarily,” not “not,” now didn’t I?)   These reasons are far from mutually exclusive, of course, but to give you an idea of how over the top I’ve been going for, the one answer I will admit to here is that I put in a request for Charlie Chaplin’s hat.

Maybe next year I’ll be better prepared for the question, but in the meantime, let me just say to my Dad that I’m sorry about that time I took “Stay right here until I get back,” to mean “Run home if you get bored, and be sure not to tell me so I don’t know where you are or what happened!”

Happy Father’s Day, Dad!


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