Status For 3/30/12

So remember when last week I said, “assuming all goes well?”

Rookie mistake.

After I said that, a ridiculously improbably series of technical problems cropped up almost on cue, so things remained delayed, but it could be worse . . . and I’m not just saying that.

“Worse” is the situation with L. yesterday that thanks to a . . . “wardrobe malfunction” with his diaper during a nap attempt, left him in such a state that I had to give him a bath to get him clean enough to give him a bath!

Never doubt that I’m there for you, son, no matter the situation.

Never ever.

Ironically Enough

It’s easy with all but the most dedicated of total anarchists to get someone to agree that even in a situation where freedom is generally desired, there will always be “that guy” who will dangerously abuse that freedom.

The hard part is nobody ever seems to see themselves as “that guy,” particularly when they are “that guy.”

Since I Combined This List From A Couple Of Sources, I Claim This Particular One

The only exercise some people get is jumping to conclusions, running down other people, stretching the truth, side-stepping responsibility, and pushing their luck. 

– Robert Alan (Inspired by Author(s) Unknown)

Wait . . . What?

Since I ran into this yesterday, I thought I’d address it here as well:

To anyone who has ever believed that there is no possible way what they’re saying could ever be interpreted any other way than exactly how they intended, I point you to the kid who hated getting the “lose next turn” card in games because he thought it meant he lost the game unless he could win before his next turn.

I’m Just Not Convinced It’s A Psychic Talent In This Case

Let me just say that if in the current economy you can not only charge twenty-five dollars for a fifteen minute session of “psychic readings,” you can also manage to book enough people at that rate to fill your schedule for the entire day, I believe you have talent.  I believe you can see your clients coming from miles and miles away.

Status For 3/23/12

New rule:  Before making plans involving changing your website, make sure you’ve run the idea by your webmaster first.

It was something we’d talked about before, but only speculatively, so when I mentioned it again this week the response was, “I can do that, there’s even a couple of ways I can do it, but I won’t know which way works best until I have time to find out this weekend.”

“But . . .” I began to protest, thinking of my schedule even as I realized I hadn’t thought at all about hers.

I stopped talking as soon as I realized that though.  (There’s a pro-tip there for you, right there.)

So assuming all goes well, I’ll have things ready on the site by Monday then.

A Draft From The Past

Yesterday I was admittedly surprisingly harsh in my entry, with emphasis on the surprising.  My intent when sitting down to write had been to dash off something lighthearted, maybe even congratulatory to the person who recently turned 18 and inspired my thinking on the subject, you see.  But something unexpected happened when I started to write:

I had a flashback to how I felt, how I really felt when I turned 18, and I ended up writing that down instead, albeit more in essence than precisely word for word.  I could have written it word for word, and even used fewer words to do so, but I decided against it since most of those words would have been of the “four-letter” variety.

Funny how things change, and how they don’t change over time.  I still feel the way I did then.

I’m just more eloquent about it these days.

Yes, I Have A Problem With This

Ah, 18, that magical age in this culture when you are legally adult enough to be required to register with Selective Service just in case somebody feels the need to send you into a combat zone where you watch your best friend’s life end in front of you, but not legally adult enough to buy your own beer to try to forget for a little while the look in his eyes as he died.

Words Uttered After We Both Chose Sleep

Fortunately for me, I had been adequately briefed in advance on the theories of fatherhood, so I’m happy to say that so far nothing about either the hardships or the joys of the experience have come as a total surprise to me.  Mind you, this isn’t to say that I’ve never been taken aback by a situation in practice, but that has proven to be thankfully rare.

Even so, some aspects of fatherhood I’m adapting to with . . . “less grace” than others, specifically the aspects I am now dubbing the “children’s vitamin” aspects in honor of what L’s Mother said last night, aspects that are specifically formulated for the needs of a child, but may not fully meet the needs of an adult.

I Knew That

Normally I avoid telling the stories that make me look . . . “less than stellar,” shall we say, but I feel the need to make an exception on this one to illustrate just how out of it I was over the weekend:

This was on St. Patrick’s Day, and I was ill enough I did not feel like celebrating at all, and L’s Mother was trying to cheer me up.

“We can go to that coffee and tea place if it’ll make you feel better,” she said.  “And if you don’t want coffee, I can buy you a green tea.”

“Green tea,” I chuckled, thinking about how many bars do green beer this time of year.  “Are they really doing that for St. Patrick’s Day?”

The silence that followed was profound before she softly answered, “No.  They do green tea every day.”