I Said Regular, Not Frequent

I was on the receiving end of some cheerful ribbing by the female members of the household this week, not because I thought the delivery girl was cute (though she was), but because they noticed (according to them) that the delivery girl “checked me out” when I turned away from her.

Now I know some people find that kind of attention unwelcome, but I’ve never found it such.  Honestly, I cherish the times I realize a girl has “checked me out,” and it puts me in such a good mood that I’m grateful it happens on a regular basis.  In fact, the last time this happened it was from a cute waitress at a restaurant, and I was walking on cloud nine for a long time afterwards.

That was definitely a good decade.

Who Ya Gonna Call? (Part Two)

Of course there’s a lot of ridiculousness involved in me toilet training my son, but I do my best to not let it get to me.  For instance, it’s absolutely vital that my son sees me “putting my pee pee in the potty” too, and while I’m not shy, that’s not an activity I’m used to having an audience for, and having him as an audience has proven to be difficult.

Oh, not because of any “shy bladder syndrome,” and not even really because this whole procedure absolutely fascinates my son, and I have to do this trick while also holding him back so he doesn’t get between me and the toilet and all the unfortunate splashing that would entail.

No, it’s difficult because he’s too young to appreciate my “Don’t cross the stream” joke(1), and I hate it when a joke flops with my audience.

******

(1) And though I linked to the IMDB quote page just in case someone out there doesn’t get the reference (which also, as promised yesterday, explains the post title), I suggest that if you don’t get it, don’t search for the quote.  Trust me, it’ll be more fun to just go watch the movie for yourself.

Who Ya Gonna Call? (Part One)

Well before the birth of my son, I ruminated on how strange the English language/culture is when it comes to bodily functions, and now that the toilet training stage has arrived for him, I have become even more aware of just how strange it is.  He has a nice little video to introduce the concept to him (Ah, the modern age!), but despite its best efforts, it frequently comes across as awkward to me, particularly the part where children are telling the camera their favorite words for bathroom functions.

It’s not the “pee pee” and “ca ca” words coming from children that bothers me, they’re children using child words and that’s fine, but every time I hear the group of little girls gleefully calling out “I really need to urinate!”, I’m freshly struck each time just how ridiculous it is to hear children using clinical terms since I can’t imagine they were taught to do so for any other reason than for the comfort of their parents.

(By the way, the post title will make more sense tomorrow, I promise.)

Double Talk

Today someone forwarded me an article regarding a two-headed snake, and not just any garden variety two-headed snake, but a snake with a head on each end of its body.  This article was forwarded to me and others with the note that this “had” to be a “sign of something,” and someone else suggested that perhaps it was a sign of the “end of days.”

I just don’t understand conversations like that.

I mean . . . how can it be a sign of the end of days when it’s not even a sign of the end of the snake?

Yep

I once heard someone say that a pair of new parents were going to “enjoy every second” of the adventure that was before them.  Admittedly, I love the sentiment, but having recently undertaken even a fraction of the responsibilities of a parent, I will be the first to state that no, no, they will NOT enjoy every second.  There will be sleepless nights, doubts, second-guesses, worries (both real and imagined), unanswered questions, and mountains of diapers.  But what I think the person meant to say was an encouragement to remember the parts of parenthood that you DO enjoy, because that’s what makes every one of those bad things worthwhile.

– Shamefully (but with permission) stolen from Lala’s Facebook status

Status For 9/21/12

Just in case there are other people out there who have yet to send me their concerned letters asking me if I’m okay (Something I do appreciate, by the way!), I thought I’d share the relevant sections of my answer to that question:

While C&C can certainly be used as a rough touchstone on the fluctuations of my moods, the operative word is “rough.”  Truth be told, my filters are such that the more seriously dire something is, the less likely I am to mention it until after the fact.  (See C&C, April 5, 2012, I’m Fine.  It’s Just A Thought.)

With that said, the 19th was an incredibly frustrating day for me for no one obvious reason; I was being pulled in too many different directions at once, but I thought I was doing okay keeping it under control until I went to pick up [Lala] from work, got momentarily blocked in once I reached the parking lot, and found myself shouting at the windshield.  Even though I was alone at the time, I was struck (as I frequently am) by how, even without witnesses, that is not how I want my son to behave, so . . .

So in other words, that’s what triggered my thoughts on the 19th about how I need to change to be a better example (a topic rarely far from my mind), and I’m pretty sure there’s nothing to worry about, because if there were, I wouldn’t be talking about it.

. . .

Though now that I think about it, it is a touch worrisome that I seem to have started quoting myself to make a point.

Maybe A Little TOO Easily Now That I’ve Realized I Need To

Yesterday it became clear to me that while I’ve been working at life a lot lately, I’ve only been enjoying life a little.  Son, this in particular is something I never want you to imitate, so it’s time for me to make some changes.

In this case, at least, it’s not so much that I need to work less, but that I need to enjoy more.

I can do that.

I’m SO Not Kidding About This

Son, watching you grow and develop has made it clear to me just how much of growing into adulthood is about learning how to handle well things like frustration and disappointment.

I’m doing my best, mind you, but I still hope to improve on this point as time goes by so I can serve as a better example to you.

Flower Power

Have you ever noticed how much they look like orchids? Lovely!

– Robert A. Heinlein

I have indeed, but I put it to you, sir, that more properly put, that should be “Have you ever noticed how much orchids look like them?” in order that “they” are understood to have greater priority than orchids.  For no matter how lovely orchids may be, if I could only experience one or the other ever again, I assure you that I would not pick the flower.

– Robert Alan

Swallowing The Lie Hook, Line, and Sinker, You Might Say

The more I consider the story of Peter Pan, the more clear it becomes to me that Peter is living in a hell of his own making, and the worst part of it is that he’s incapable of remembering anything long enough to ever realize that.  Despite what some might say, his forgetfulness does not make him immune to his suffering, but it does ensure he’ll never be able to escape his self-imposed nightmare.