Archive for February, 2014

On An Unrelated Note, I’m Giving Up Drinking For A While

February 28, 2014

I’ve been alternating between feeling better and worse over the past few days, which always makes me snarky, and at one point I facetiously expressed a desire for a “nice, cool glass of cyanide.”

“Pretty sure we’re out,” Lala told me, then L’s mother chimed in, “But I’m sure I could hook you up!”

That’s my family for you; not only do they point out the flaws in my plans, they offer to go that extra mile to help me achieve my goals.

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Yep

February 27, 2014

The other day Lala asked one of her friends how parenthood was treating him.  His response?

“I’m tired all the time!”

Yep, I Got It

February 26, 2014

Currently fighting a holding action against whatever is the latest bug going around.  Please stand by.

*****

Serious illness doesn’t bother me for long because I am too inhospitable a host.

Albert Schweitzer

Okay, Okay! I Get It!

February 25, 2014

My dreams for the last few days and nights have been . . . odd, almost fever dream odd except that I’m not running a fever.  For example:

There was a point I was dreaming I was surrounded by a variety of kid’s cartoon characters (no one specific, but all clearly inspired by kid’s cartoons).  This, in and of itself, didn’t strike me as unusual (being one of my dreams and all), but I was distressed to see that these characters were all bobbing and swaying their heads like they were drunk, which I thought was inappropriate given their particular cartoon style was aimed specifically at toddler-age kids.   That’s precisely what I told them too.

In response, as one they all looked me in the eye and intoned, “We’re not drunk!  We’re out of our heads with exhaustion . . . just . . . like . . . you!”

I Don’t Think That Painting Looks ANYTHING Like Me

February 24, 2014

In light of the new puppy in the household, a few people have asked if I’m a dog person.  Since I can not personally answer that question without trying to make a joke out if it, I thought I’d share L’s mother’s answer to that question when it comes to me:

“If there’s a cave painting out there somewhere of the wolves that first came in out of the cold, the person standing there will look like Rob.”

Which is flattering, but silly.  While it’s true I have a certain . . . rapport with canines, and that rapport has lasted for some time, it’s still just silly.

Let The Dog Days Begin

February 21, 2014

The puppy is now home, and this household can expect a solid year (at least) of puppy related challenges, as well as a solid year (at least) of me invoking the puppy’s name every time somebody asks if we have the money to do something frivolous.

This isn’t going to be easy, and I know this even if everyone else is still too busy cooing over the puppy at the moment.

But that’s okay.

Those Lectures Still Apply, By The Way

February 20, 2014

If all goes well, today is the day we bring the puppy home, thereby adding an . . . interesting note to all my recent lectures to the household of the need to be more frugal.

Turns Out I Was Wrong Though

February 19, 2014

All jokes aside (and yes, I was being tongue-in-cheek yesterday), our decision to get a puppy wasn’t quite as impulsive as it might sound.  We’ve been talking for a while now about getting L. a puppy, but only when “the time was right.”

I just sort of assumed that time was about another year or so off . . .

You Know Who You Aren’t

February 18, 2014

As the house is being prepared for the puppy to come home soon, I would like to take this opportunity to publicly thank all the people who helped me stand firm against the pressure my family put on me to get this puppy in the first place:

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Most Expensive Breakfast EVER!

February 17, 2014

So over the weekend Lala offered to take us out to breakfast.  Sounds harmless enough, right?  But then . . .

1.  L. didn’t want to get back in the car right away.

2.  So L’s mother offered to walk him to a pet store while Lala and I went to run errands in the same complex.

3.  But Lala wanted to go to the pet store too.

4.  Then L’s mother had to go to another store, giving L. extra time to play with some puppies.

5.  Once she got back, *I* left to run the original errands, leaving L., his mother, and Lala alone with puppies.

6.  Apparently, at some point, L. looked at one little puppy in particular and said “I choo-choo-choose you, puppy!” (A saying from a Valentine’s Day shirt he was wearing.)

7.  Lets be honest, anything I say at this point is irrelevant.  There’s more (a lot more), but a good general always knows the exact moment he’s lost the battle, and at that point, this battle was over except for the formalities.

So . . . short story long . . . it looks like L. is getting a puppy.