Archive for June, 2014

You Might Say I “Nose” Better These Days

June 30, 2014

“My legs are weird,” Lala announced from the other room.

Fortunately for me, I do (at least occasionally) learn from my mistakes.

I’m not falling for that again!” I shouted back.

If She Needed To Learn That, I’m Glad It Was Him Who Taught Her

June 27, 2014

Today I’ve found myself thinking about Tim again. Specifically, I’ve found myself thinking about how much I owe him.

Even more specifically, I’ve found myself thinking about how much I owe him for teaching L’s mother the important lesson that she should not accidentally kick people in the knee . . .

She Sounded Good Though

June 26, 2014

Last night I dreamt I was on the road, realized that I was near where my grandmother was, and decided I’d stop and see her. When I got there though, I was momentarily confused because the old house was gone and there was a lot of construction going on. Then I remembered that she’d moved, and after a bit of searching, I found her new number and called.

“Hey, Grandma” I said. “I know it’s been a while, and I’m sorry I haven’t called . . .”

“That’s alright, son,” she interrupted, sounding a touch bemused. “I didn’t really expect you to.”

That stung a little bit, but I persevered. “In any event, I’m in the area and I thought I might stop by, maybe even stay with you for a while if that’d be alright.”

“It would not be alright,” she said firmly. “I think it’s best you got back on the road you were on, don’t you?”

That stung even more, but then I realized she was right, her being dead all these years and all . . .

A Brief Silence

June 25, 2014

Silence, and a candle for all those people in your life you were once close to and now . . . for one reason or another, you’re not anymore.


June 24, 2014

“If you agree that fire is hot, that water is wet, and that starving to death is an unpleasant way to die, then I’m the candidate for you.”

– A depressingly exaggerated mocking of a political ad I saw today, depressing because I’m not exaggerating by nearly enough for my comfort.

There’s Your Plan . . . And Then There’s The Toddler’s Plan . . .

June 23, 2014

The Plan: Get up and start working as soon as possible.

The Practice: Have an impromptu “birthday party” with my son because he found a small (empty) gift box, and there was some leftover (not-birthday) cake in the fridge.

The Regret: Minor, and nothing at all to do with delaying work.

The Lesson: Cheesecake for breakfast isn’t necessarily a bad idea, but finishing off your child’s slice as well as your own “so it doesn’t go to waste” might be . . .

But I’m Still Glad That *I* Didn’t Say That!

June 20, 2014

Lala to L. upon noticing just how much frosting he had on his face after eating a cupcake:

“L, go wash your face. You look like your mother.”

In fairness, it is true that L. seems to have inherited his mother’s cupcake eating technique . . .

Scrambled Thoughts

June 19, 2014

This past week or so L. has been putting us all through the grinder when it comes to, of all things, Humpty Dumpty videos on YouTube, Humpty Dumpty in literally dozens of versions and levels of creepiness.

Naturally, this has started to have an effect on me, and yesterday this is what I found myself singing:

Humpty Dumpty sat on a throne,
Humpty Dumpty was rarely alone.
He was fond of skiing, and fonder of skating,
And fondest of all of his ladies-in-waiting.

Yes, there are other versions and verses, but this is the one most suitable for public consumption.

An Age Old Problem

June 18, 2014

Nobody reveres and idolizes a time period quite like those who didn’t live during it.

No Questions Asked

June 17, 2014

You know all those “Which/What _______ are you?” quizzes that are so popular, particularly on Facebook? I never take them.

I already know what I am . . . and every time I forget, somebody always steps up to remind me.