Archive for April, 2015

That! That Right THERE Is The Essence Of My Parenting Experience Right Now!

April 30, 2015

Today my four-year-old son asked for a pancake for breakfast, so I reluctantly prepped him one.  I did so “reluctantly” because I know he prefers the strawberry ones (we keep some premade pancakes around for breakfast emergencies), but all I saw were chocolate.  Predictably, he took one bite and started complaining (vehemently and at great length) that they weren’t strawberry.  I told him that was the only kind we had, and that if we had any strawberry ones, I would have made him a strawberry one, and then to end the argument, I doubled checked once again that we were indeed out of the strawberry ones.

Then I found some.

“Huh,” I said.  “Sorry about that, slugger.  I don’t know how I missed them, but we do have some strawberry pancakes left after all.  Would you like me to make you one?”

“After I finish my chocolate one,” he said as he shoved a big bite in his mouth.

It’s A Strange Coping Mechanism, But It IS A Coping Mechanism

April 29, 2015

As I implied most recently yesterday, the stress level due to illness in this household is . . . high right now.  When people don’t feel well they tend to be less pleasant to be around, and there are lots of different ways different people deal with that situation.

One of the ways I find myself dealing with it is when I catch myself singing something (to put it politely) “odd” to myself.  What follows is an actual example from yesterday as I was looking for some tzatziki:

The tzatziki’s nice.
It is made from mice,
Who are fed a diet . . . exclusively of rice.
They’re inspected daily to ensure they’re free of lice.
The tzatziki’s nice!

I’ve Come To Learn That This Also Applies To ANY Child When They’re Sick

April 28, 2015

It was frequently said of her, “she knew not how to suffer in silence.”

Lucy van Pelt (speaking of herself), Peanuts

It’s Rough Work, I’ll Give Him That

April 27, 2015

Over the weekend I read about the latest find at Crater of Diamonds State Park, a place I visited when I was a kid.  As you might imagine, the prospect of finding a diamond thrilled my young mind, and the idea of being able to keep it if I found one kept me digging in the dirt long after everyone else was bored.  Sadly, I didn’t find one, but I still had a good time, and I have fond memories of the place to this day.

My Dad, on the other hand, was “slightly” less impressed.

“It’s like paying for the experience of digging potatoes(1),” I remember him saying.  “Except at the end of the day you don’t even get potatoes!”


(1) A hot, dirty, miserable job that he always hated when he was a kid.

Do I Really Need To Say That I Don’t Consider Myself “Polite Company”? (Follow-Up)

April 24, 2015

While what I said yesterday was true, it is also true that sometimes simple solutions work the best.  Never sneer at solution just because it’s simple.  If it works, it works.

(I learned this from a rat who preferred to climb over the walls of the maze to get his cheese . . .)

Do I Really Need To Say That I Don’t Consider Myself “Polite Company”?

April 23, 2015

Be it the “Kill the evil overlord and magically their entire empire will fall apart!” trope of fiction, or “Do this one simple trick to reduce belly fat!” tripe of banner ads, humanity has always had a taste for simple solutions to complex problems.  And if we’re being honest here, if the “solution” is simple enough, the fact that it doesn’t actually work can simply become a non-issue never discussed by polite company.

I Know, I Know, It Was A “Square Meal,” But Still!

April 22, 2015

With the members of this household at various stages of unwell, a lot of packaged soup has been eaten over the past few days, and today was no exception.  Most of this soup has been pretty good all things considered, but after pouring the contents of a package into a bowl today, I was struck with a thought as inescapable as it was odd:

Soup in a bowl should NOT have corners!

Something To Remember

April 21, 2015

While you may forget the favors other people have done for you, rest assured they never will.

No More Articles On Unsolved Horrible Crimes For Me For A While

April 20, 2015

People like to say kids have “no idea” what a dark and dangerous place the world can be.  As I recall from my own childhood, that’s not precisely true.  Kids do have an idea, but they lack specific concepts, as well as the vocabulary to elaborate on their fears.

Adults, on the other hand, have to rely on denial.

I Wonder What Was Eating Her

April 17, 2015

Yesterday L. informed us that he wanted a “long apple.”  Unfortunately, none of us had any idea what he was talking about, leading to some speculation in the household.  My best guess was that it was the apple you put in the mouth of a “long pig.”

This guess was not well received by L’s Mother for some reason.