Archive for September, 2015

And Feel Better Soon, Son

September 17, 2015

Oh, how I long for the halcyon days of yore that was yesterday morning!  It was bliss by comparison . . .

(Don’t mind me, I’m just being overdramatic.  I got eight hours of sleep, after all . . . four hours during the night in roughly one to two hours blocks starting between two and three, then another four fitful hours in what was supposed to be a two-hour nap.  Thanks for having my back, Lala.)

Mourning My Morning

September 16, 2015

And the morning arrived with the grace of an arthritic hippo on a high wire trapeze . . .

– My first words spoken to another adult today

I’ll Let You Guess Which Two I’m Thinking Of

September 15, 2015

It has been observed (specifically by Emily Dickinson) that “The Heart wants what it wants,” and that’s true enough, but if you want to really understand human behavior, you have to recognize that the same could be said of at least two more organs other than the heart . . .

On The Plus Side, Your Acceleration Skills Are PHENOMENAL!

September 14, 2015

This may be hard for you to believe at times, son, but I swear to you that there’s more to my parenting skills than just telling you some variation of “no.”

I realize this analogy won’t make sense to you for a while, but try to consider me like your driver’s ed instructor sitting in the passenger seat as you drive a practice car down the road of your life.

You haven’t seen one of those cars yet, but the one I learned on, at least, left all the driving to me . . . but had an extra brake on the passenger side that could be used by the instructor as needed to avoid a crash.

My Sentimental Moment For The Year

September 11, 2015

Today my son asked me what my favorite planet was, and this turned out to be a trickier question than I would have expected.  While I rattled off the planets and what I liked about each of them, privately I found myself thinking about the time in my life when my answer would have been “Any planet but this one.”

“But you wanted to know which planet is my favorite, right?” I asked him.

My son nodded.

Tousling his hair, I said, “Whichever planet you’re on, slugger.”

Not Even If It Handed Me Its Calling Card

September 10, 2015

Today I was complimented on my patience, and, it being one of “those” days, I just shook my head and asked them to point out to me the next time they saw me being patient, because right then and there I wouldn’t recognize patience if it introduced itself to me at a party . . .

Sometimes You Stub Your Toe On The Milestone As You Pass, But You Still Pass It

September 9, 2015

Given how early he started teething, it should have been no surprise that L. lost his first baby tooth last night . . . but it managed to surprise us all anyway.  We all knew one of his front teeth was a little loose (a fact which . . . displeased L.), but none of us thought it was that loose, which is probably why nobody thought anything of having corn on the cob for dinner until after the tooth was gone.  L. promptly went from displeased to distraught over this, and no amount of congratulations and talk from his mother and Lala about how this meant he was growing up and this was a good thing made him feel any better.

For what it’s worth, son, I knew exactly how you felt even before I flashbacked to some of my own childhood lost teeth experiences.

Right now, even though this is exactly what it is, you don’t see this as an opportunity for new growth; you only see the gaping hole left behind by something you’ve lost, and you know that it hurts.  I understand, I really do.  I won’t tell you that everything will be alright in time (even though it will), because right now all you care about is right now, and that’s okay.

Also on Par With “Seagull With A French Fry”

September 8, 2015

As a follow-up to yesterday’s post, I have also learned a new level of kid happiness, the happiness of a kid who has discovered that yes, that old mattress will indeed (after some effort) fit perfectly into the floor of his closet, thus turning it into a playroom/bounce room.

(The puppy is pretty happy about it too.)

I Put It On Par With “Seagull With A French Fry”

September 7, 2015

Over the weekend I learned a new level of happiness, the happiness of a man who had just bought a hand truck on the same day a “I did mention I ordered a new bed, right?” surprise delivery shows up in three separate but equally ridiculously heavy shipping boxes.

Everybody Else Got To Say Something Witty This Week; I Just Wanted To Be Included

September 4, 2015

Today while coming back from the hardware store, I was muttering darkly under my breath at the traffic congestion in the parking lot while L’s Mother was patiently explaining to him that the letter “t” in “depot” was silent.  “You’re not supposed to pronounce the ‘t’ at all,” she corrected.

“If you say so,” I said amiably, “I’ll be glad when all these ‘idios’ are out of my way then.”