Archive for September, 2016

Snapping At Snapchat (Part Two)

September 16, 2016

Dear sir,

Thank you for reading yesterday’s post regarding my feelings on the excessive number of pictures of food shared on Snapchat.  And while I applaud your initiative in attempting to “mix things up” by sending me an unsolicited picture of your privates, I must respectfully request that you resume sending me pictures of your food because they, at least, all featured full portions . . .

(I am SO kidding about this.  This didn’t actually happen . . . to me.)

Snapping At Snapchat (Part One)

September 15, 2016

I thought my familiarity with other forms of social media would have inoculated me against this reaction, but I was incorrect.

Dear friends on Snapchat, I know I haven’t been using the app that long, but I have to ask just what is it about food that fascinates you so much?  More to the point though, what possible reason do you have to believe that sharing so many pictures of your food could in any way be interesting to another human being?

(Wait for it.  This is just the set-up.)

“You Noticed THAT Pretty Quickly, Now Didn’t You?”

September 14, 2016

Annnd I now have a definition for a previously undefined level of awkward, the “being the guy who notices and feels the need to point out that the kindergarten random letter worksheet spells out a vocabulary word that many parents would prefer not be introduced to their children until it’s time for ‘the talk.'” level.

It’s Like She’s Done This Before Or Something

September 13, 2016

I suspect there’s one in every class, virtual or otherwise, the kid who’s too shy to interact with the class, but their mother is an absolute champ at answering on their behalf.  I don’t know how well this kid is doing grade-wise so far, but from what I’ve seen, his mom is just knocking it out of the park!

Teacher, Teach Thyself

September 12, 2016

How am I supposed to teach my son how to not let his frustration get the better of him when he’s being so damn frustrating about it?

Something I Heard Myself Telling My Son Today

September 9, 2016

If you can’t do it yet, that’s fine, just keep practicing, but it’s time to make a different mistake now.

Probably, But I’m Noting It Anyway

September 8, 2016

Three days without coffee; three nights with nightmares.

Coincidence?

I Had To Do This Today, In Fact

September 7, 2016

I’m not going to lie to you, son.  Some people will tell you there are no “silly” questions, but even if that’s true (and I doubt that it is), the fact of the matter is that sooner or later you’re almost certain to find yourself with questions that you would feel silly asking.

Ask them anyway.

“Pretty Sure, Yeah”

September 6, 2016

“Are you sure your son is only five?” one of L’s Mother’s co-workers asked her the other day, thus sparking the memory of L., toy screwdriver in each hand, walking around the house as he pretended to be a Pokemon called “Screwhands.”

Here’s Looking At You, Kid

September 5, 2016

Several people have pointed out to me that the Pokémon Go craze in this household won’t last forever, and that’s certainly true.

But we’ll always have Paras.