Archive for February, 2017

My Son Thought This Story Was Hilarious

February 14, 2017

Today in my son’s class they were talking about the “sh” sound in words in honor of George WaSHington, and if your first thought of an “sh” word was a less polite example, well . . . as much as I’d like to harass you about that, I don’t really have the right since that’s usually how my mind works too.

But in this particular case, my first thought was “warsh,” as in “It’s time to warsh the dishes.”

You see when I was about my son’s age, I was adamant that “wash” was spelled with an “r,” and nothing my teachers said would budge me on this.  As I recall the way it was told to me, eventually they called my mother and asked her where I might have gotten this idea from.

Suffice it to say that from that day forward Mom always made a special point to say that she was going wash things around the house even though prior to that she had “warshed” things her entire life.

Like Your Child Completing Their Schoolwork On Schedule With Only A Minimal Amount Of Complaining For A Change

February 13, 2017

Some days victories come in small doses, but even lesser victories are victories none the less.

Presumably

February 10, 2017

As background for this, my son’s virtual school teacher has a habit of going “Mmmmmm” when she’s reaches the blank part of a sentence that she’s reading to the class.  For example, if the sentence is “The _____ dog is barking,” she’ll read it to the class as “The Mmmmm dog is barking,” then ask the class which word would go best in that sentence.  This is usually not a problem.

Usually.

The other day, however, the sentence was “Abraham Lincoln was called _____ Abe,” and the correct word to fill in the blank was, of course, “Honest.”  However, when she read it as “Abraham Lincoln was called Mmmmmm Abe,” my honest (but kept to myself) first thought was “Presumably only by Mary Todd though!”

This Private Thought Actually Surprised Me With Its Brutal Honesty

February 9, 2017

I’m not looking for advice, I’m looking for a parachute . . .

(I knew in advance it was going to be a long week, but this week has now officially crossed the line into “horror movie ever-expanding hallway” long.)

Today’s “Marriage Is . . .”

February 8, 2017

Marriage is giving personal priority to eating the broken chips in the bag because you are capable of understanding that they taste just as good as the unbroken chips.

(A case could be made that I should have resisted the urge here, but I regret nothing, nothing, I tell you!)

Today’s “Parenthood Is . . .”

February 7, 2017

Parenthood is giving personal priority to eating the broken chips in the bag because you are capable of understanding that they taste just as good as the unbroken chips.

It’s Going To Be A Long Week

February 6, 2017

Good idea:  Planning to take my son on a fieldtrip this week.

Bad idea:  Realizing after plans have been made that the fieldtrip doesn’t mean any less work on this week’s syllabus . . .

“Inappropriate? Of COURSE It’s ‘Inappropriate!’ That’s Why It’s Funny!”

February 3, 2017

In the interest of doing a light-hearted entry on a day that I’m not feeling particularly light-hearted, I share the following observation with you:

One of the driving forces behind “Dad jokes” is the fact that Dads aren’t generally rewarded if they share the really funny things they’re thinking.

I’m Literally Having Some Windows Replaced On My Home

February 2, 2017

Today my house is getting a windows upgrade.

Insert your own computer joke here if you like, maybe you can actually come up with a worthwhile one.  I certainly couldn’t.

But even though I couldn’t come up with a joke good enough (or bad enough) to mark the occasion, it did occur to me that 30-some years ago there wouldn’t have been a joke to make at all.

Empathy Still Works Better Though

February 1, 2017

In the absence of empathy, awareness of potential consequences can sometimes do the trick.