Archive for June, 2017

I’m Still Holding Out Hope That He Was Kidding

June 16, 2017

What follows is funny story I heard from a server last night.  I’m not sure I fully believe this actually happened to her because I’d like to think that nobody would ever say this without being kidding, but the story is funny none the less:

So I had this table, big party, like fourteen people, and I got the impression that they were not going to be good tippers (You get a feel for that sort of thing after a while.), but I wasn’t too worried about it because this was back in the days when we were allowed to automatically include the gratuity on big parties.  I gave them my best service, and, yes, they ran me ragged, but they weren’t really mean about it or anything, so there was that, and the final ticket, of course, came out to several hundred dollars.

Like I said, I’d already gotten the feeling that no matter what I did there wasn’t going to be a big tip in my future, but what I wasn’t prepared for was there being no concept of tipping at all!  (And, yes, they were American, where, like it or not, tipping is part of the culture.)

“Okay,” I heard one of them announce once the bill had arrived.  “Who ordered the ‘gratuity’?  Because that is expensive!'”

That Would Be Bad

June 15, 2017

You know, yesterday’s joking aside, it’s good thing that I was only playing at being paranoid instead of being actually paranoid.  Can you imagine what the reaction of someone truly convinced they were being monitored would have been if they had found an unidentified electronic component in their laundry?

When Throwaway Jokes Get Weird

June 14, 2017

The other day as I pulled my laundry out of the dryer, a small object tumbled out of my underwear.

It’s probably a tracking device, I laughingly thought to myself before taking a closer look at the object to determine what it really was.

The item in question turned out to be about the size of a button, some kind of electronic device, complete with . . . a . . . power source?

Hours later I figured out it was a LED component from a broken fidget spinner that Lala had picked up and left in her pocket when she did laundry, and I only figured that out because in passing she’d told me the story of her discovery, and L. accidently hit the button that triggered the (almost invisible) lights when he was examining it.

But those were some weird hours before I figured that out though, let me tell you!

I’ll Do That, Son

June 13, 2017

Yesterday I took an extra moment to properly time my necessary walking between my son and the television screen while my son was playing a game.

“Why do you try to be so careful about not blocking my view?” he asked me.

Chuckling, I answered, “Well . . . it’s because it used to seem like my mom was always blocking my view when I was really interested in something, and I remember how much I hated that, so whenever I can, I try not to do that to you.”

“Oh,” my son replied, then after a  thoughtful pause he asked, “Is Grandmama still coming to visit this week?”

“Yes,” I told him.

“Can you please remind her that it’s rude to block people’s views?”

Holy Rest In Peace!

June 12, 2017

I’d be remiss if I didn’t note last week’s passing of Adam West.

Now I really need to watch Batman: Return of the Caped Crusaders.  (Normally I don’t give plugs to anyone, but I’m making an exception here because . . . Adam West.)

It Was A Completely Legal And Safe Turn, I Just Didn’t Have A Lot Of Time To Linger While Doing It

June 9, 2017

Today my son learned that when I’m driving and say “Hang on!”, I mean it!

Please Don’t Take My Sunshine Away

June 8, 2017

Kay:  When you get sad, it always seems to rain.

Laura:  Well lots of people get sad when it rains.

Kay:  It rains because you’re sad, baby.

Men in Black II

(On my mind because L’s Mother went out of town for a few days, and we literally did not see the sun here until after she got back.

I Now Have A New Standard For “Ironic”

June 7, 2017

What follows is a (heavily paraphrased to better capture background nuances) exchange between me and my son:

Him:  “Dad, do you want to do something together?”

Me (Knowing that it’s been raining for days and that he’s feeling cooped up):  “Sure!  What do you want to do?”

Him:  “It has to be something inside because I don’t like getting wet.”

Me:  “Of course.”

Him:  “Do you want to log into [an online game that includes fishing] and fish together?”

Me (Indulgently):  “Sure.”

Him:  “Isn’t this great?”

Me (Uncertainly as I watch our avatars standing together in virtual rain as they fish):  “Yes . . .?”

Posted In Honor Of Today’s Weather

June 6, 2017

Some people create their own storms, then get mad when it rains.

– Unknown

They Run, I Suppose

June 5, 2017

Some time back I read that one way to train an elephant to stay in place for the night was to tether it with a heavy chain around its leg when it was a calf.  The calf would strain against the chain at first, but eventually the calf would learn that it couldn’t break the chain, and stop straining against it.  It would learn this lesson so well, in fact, that once the calf had grown into an elephant that could break the chain, it still wouldn’t strain against the chain because it had long ago learned that the chain was “unbreakable.”  In fact, by the time the elephant reached adulthood, the trainers would have actually dispensed with using a chain at all, because a simple rope worked just as well at that point.

I don’t actually know if this is true, or if this is just an elaborate analogy; regardless, I take the point of the anecdote . . . but I still have to wonder something:

What do the trainers do if the elephant ever does figure out that it had been tricked all those years, particularly if the elephants decides to hold a grudge over it?