Archive for February, 2018

That’s Pretty Good Advice

February 22, 2018

Today’s Tip From My Son:

If you have a dog in your house, never step on anything brown without turning on the light first so you can see what it is.

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I Shall Dub This “Alan’s Whetstone”

February 21, 2018

With all due respect to Hanlon’s Razor, after years of self-debate, I have finally concluded the Information Age requires me to add an addendum:

When online, however, never attribute to stupidity that which is adequately explained by trolling.

So Yeah . . . I Know

February 20, 2018

Okay . . . take two.

As I mentioned, I was traveling when the Stoneman Douglas shooting happened, but I certainly heard about it.  On the way back home I even got the chance to see where it happened, and the how of that is why I was extra angry.

Turnpike traffic was bad due to accidents, you see, so L’s Mother was using GPS to direct me to an alternate route.  Traffic was still slow and congested, but it was moving, so I was content right up until the point when L’s Mother said, “We’re coming up on Stoneman Douglas.”

Neither of us ever having taken this particular route before, I was perplexed.  “How could you possibly know that?” I asked her.

“Google is ‘helpfully’ marking it on the map with a big flashing red dot,” she sighed.

“What!?” I exclaimed.  “Why?”

“Because it’s in the news, I guess.”

That would have been bad enough, but at this point a nasty thought struck me.  Was the slowdown on this route because people were rubbernecking?

Now I don’t know that was the case, but I can confirm that you could see Stoneman Douglas from the road, and the slowdown ended the moment we were passed the building.

Let’s Try This Again Tomorrow

February 19, 2018

I really thought that by having an entire weekend to cool down that I’d be ready to elaborate on what I started talking about on Friday . . . but I was wrong.

But What I Was Thinking Was “You, Sir, Have A Not Rare Enough Gift For Understatement.”

February 16, 2018

Obviously I’ve been traveling the past few days.  While I was out someone asked me where I was from, and I (in general terms) answered.

“Oh,” he said seriously.  “Your area is having a bad time right now, I hear.”  (In reference to the latest school shooting.)

Because he was so sincere when he said that, “So I’ve heard,” is what I said.

Okay . . . Back

February 15, 2018

I am now once again in the land of electronic impulses, but it took me longer than anticipated to reach here, so I’ll talk to you tomorrow.

Plus I Think It Was A P-Teranodon

February 14, 2018

Overheard while out today:

“Is that a p-terodactyl?”  (Pronounced with extra emphasis on the ‘p’.)

My mental response:

In fairness, that word can be little p-tough to t-pronounce.

That’ll Happen When Your WiFi Network Is Apparently Based On Smoke Signal Technology

February 13, 2018

Apologies if I’m sporadic for a few days, my current location’s signal strength is easily disrupted by the wind.

“Why Am I Typing?” Would Also Work

February 12, 2018

As a rule I’m not a big fan of motivational speakers, but I am a big fan of accepting wisdom where I find it, so the idea behind W.A.I.T. (Why Am I Talking?) really appeals to me.

It Takes Actual Wisdom To Listen Though

February 9, 2018

Sometimes wisdom sounds like you telling yourself that now is not the time to be funny.