Archive for August, 2019

So Now I’ve Got A Pretty Good Idea What They Were Singing

August 30, 2019

And because I need one, on an even lighter note, yesterday in a fit of nostalgia I listened to “Li’l Red Riding Hood,” and was amused when someone commented they remembered hearing a group of kids singing a very raunchy variation of the song.  For a moment I wondered how they could have made it raunchy, much less “very” raunchy, then I listened with fresh ears to some of the lyrics again:

“What big eyes you have.  The kind of eyes that drives wolves mad,” and “What a big heart I have.  The better to love you with,” particularly stood out.

And It’ll Discourage Us From Throwing Stones

August 29, 2019

Recently I ordered three huge bottles of a hot barbecue sauce that I like, and I was feeling pretty pleased with myself having them stocked in the cabinet, but today another three bottles arrived.  Checking the records, it certainly appeared that they had been ordered, just not by me, so I asked L’s Mother if she knew anything about this.

“They were still in the cart when it was time to place my order, so I went ahead and ordered them just to be on the safe side,” she told me.

“Fortunately they keep,” I replied.

“And now we have storm supplies,” she added.

“Yes,” I had to agree.  “If it gets bad we can build a shelter out of the bottles to hide behind.”

Now If It Would Only Storm Off

August 28, 2019

Yesterday’s Assessment of Dorian Based On Yesterday’s Information:  Yeah, it might hit the Florida coast as a hurricane, but it was already projected to hit with around 70 M.P.H. winds, so we’re probably not talking much of a difference.

Today’s Assessment:  We seem to have angered it.

He’s Been Watching British Programing Again

August 27, 2019

My son this morning:  Do you want to hear a joke?

Me:  (Mentally sighing because it’s really early.)  Sure.

My son:  How do you get four elephants in a Mini?

Me:  (Mentally:  I’ve always hated this joke, and why is he including a British car in it?  Oh, well . . .)   Outloud:  Two in the front and two in the back.

My son:  Right!  Now how do you get two whales in a Mini?

Me:  (Mentally:  Really?!)  Outloud:  One in the front and one in the back?

My son:  No, you take the M4 from London!

Me:  (Mentally piecing it together.  Wait, what?  “How do you get to Wales in a Mini?”  Oh!)  Outloud:  That’s terrible!  I’m so proud of you!

I Like To Keep Abreast Of Things Like This

August 26, 2019

Augmented reality is an interesting concept, and to think we owe it all to silicon.

Besides, We Don’t Have Any Cows That Need Milking Today Anyway

August 23, 2019

This week has been a particularly stressful one for some reason (*cough-cough* School!); admittedly not as bad as it could have been, but still bad none the less.  So much so that when I woke up this morning the first thing I did was to begin weighing the options for telling my son we should take the day off.

Eventually I decided that while days off don’t get the cows milked (As my grandfather might have possibly said at one point in his life; I don’t know for sure he didn’t, at least.), today I’d rather order pizza than milk cows.

And The Longer They’ve Talked To You, The Easier It Is To Tell

August 22, 2019

An easy way to tell if someone is there to talk at you, not with you, is as soon as you get a chance to say something, they suddenly remember they need to be elsewhere.

Years Of People Attempting To Force Feed You Something Can Have That Effect

August 21, 2019

For good or for ill, recently I’ve realized that while I will still always make time to hear grievances, I just can’t stomach any more griping.

My Thought Process As A Parent This Morning

August 20, 2019

When my son was too sick to complain about being sick:  I hope he’s okay.

When my son started complaining (loudly) about how sick he is:  He’s fine.

Although Staying Calm Will Help With Survival In General

August 19, 2019

As my son enters 3rd grade, in addition to working on the standard subjects, I’m adding a course I’m simply labeling “Life Skills.”  It’s a work in progress, and will likely end up being a mixed bag of skill sets, so it’s a bit hard to describe precisely at the moment.

When I mentioned this to my son, he asked, “Do you mean things like how to find food in the forest?”.

Chuckling, I responded, “We could add that down the line if you like, but for a starter I was thinking more along the lines of meditation.”