Archive for September, 2019

That’s What I Thought

September 30, 2019

My son:  Can I have some chips and salsa?

Me:  Sure!

My son:  Can you get me some water while you’re at it?

Me:  Yeah, I can do that.

My son:  Oh, and can you turn on the light for me?

Me:  Because I know you can’t reach it yourself, yes . . . yes, I can.

My son:  Ah!  Isa left something on the pad that needs to be cleaned up!  Can you clean it up?

Me:  Yeeeesss, but you’re already pretty deep in your requests to me, so it’s going to be a few moments before I get to that.  Plus, do you really want me to clean up after the dog before I handle the food you’re about to eat?

My son:  Just let me know when it’s safe to come to the table, okay?

“Glad I Could Make You Happy, And Thank YOU!”

September 27, 2019

(Looks like there’s a lot going on in the political world right now that I could address, but in the words of Weird Al, that would be a hassle and take up all my free time, so I’m going to tell a story about popcorn instead.)

When I was at Disney World last week, I was sent on an errand halfway across Epcot.  I volunteered for this, mind you, but it was going to be a long walk.  Just as I was starting out I saw a popcorn cart and remembered that at some point I was also supposed to pick up a popcorn bucket for later refill.  So I picked one up and, since I had a long walk ahead of me, I had it filled with the flavor of popcorn only I like (Buffalo Bleu Cheese).  It made the long walk alone a lot more pleasant.

Fast forward to the next day when I knew I’d be getting a popcorn refill for everyone else.  The inside of the bucket was seriously stained from earlier, but nothing a few moments wiping it out didn’t cure, so having done that, I didn’t give it another thought.

Until I went to refill the bucket a little while later and the guy told me there’d be no charge.  Now, refills are cheap, but not that cheap, so I asked him why.

“Simple,” he said.  “Day in and day out people bring their nasty buckets to me for a refill, and I don’t like looking at the buckets sometimes, much less touching them, so whenever I see someone has taken the time to clean the bucket, it makes me happy.  So . . . no charge, and thank you!”

So Today I Was Victorious

September 26, 2019

Sometimes just crossing the finish line is the victory.

Sometimes You DO Get To Have Your Cake And Eat It Too!

September 25, 2019

“So what games can we play with a deck of cards?” my son asked me this morning.

It was fairly easy for me to not give in to my first impulse, so I just chuckled and said, “Lots, but that reminds me.  If anybody ever asks you if you want to play 52-Card Pickup, just say no, okay?”

“Why?” he asked.  “What’s that?  Can you show me?”

“Do you really want me to do that?” I asked him in a tone that he’s old enough by now to recognize means that either a trick or a bad joke (or both) is about to follow.

“Yes!” he answered with a big grin.

What followed was the finest stream of cards I have ever shot in someone’s direction in my entire life.

I Can Forgive The Lack Of Fire And Smoke, But Not That

September 24, 2019

So we survived another Disney trip last week.  (Odd timing, I know, but that was the time Mom was available to meet us there.)  All in all it was a good trip, with my biggest complaint being that while I know it was supposed to be “not so scary,” the Headless Horseman’s horse shouldn’t prance under any circumstances!

So That’s Pretty Good

September 23, 2019

I don’t have a “perfect” life (if that phrase even means anything), but what I do have is a life where my son can ask me, “Dad, do you want to play with me?” and I can say “Yes.”

And I Also Consider Myself A Nonstandard Kind Of Person

September 20, 2019

Despite my son informing me that “‘Ain’t’ ain’t good English,” I still feel my use of the word “ain’t” the other day was appropriate in context.  Granted, the word is considered “nonstandard” these days, but I was in a nonstandard mood.

Ways To Tell That I Am Beyond Tired And Done With Something

September 19, 2019

DJ:  *Enthusiastically*  Now we’re all going to jump in the air and clap our hands!

Me:  *Deadpan*  No . . . we ain’t.

I’d Hate To Waste Tea Like That Anyway

September 18, 2019

Look, I’m just going to come clean about my mood today.  Today my nicest thought has been about recognizing the therapeutic power of a good hot cup of tea, but doubting if my throwing arm was up to the task right now, so I’m just going to talk to you tomorrow.

I Don’t Start Considering Other People’s Opinions Until After I Wake Up

September 17, 2019

Today L’s Mother and I were enjoying a much needed day off style morning on the back porch when she said, “Oh, no!  I’m out here in my pajamas!”  Grinning, she added, “What would the neighbors think?”

“First they’d have to,” I snorted.