I’ve seen a lot of amazing things in my time, things that I would understand if someone else would try to label them as “impossible.”
I’ve seen a man blow a square bubble.
I’ve seen a man with no hands do card tricks.
And I’ve seen a man with no voice do stand-up comedy.
“So recently I went stargazing on the beach,” Mom was telling me today. “It was windy, it was cold, it was night . . .”
I tried to resist, I really tried, but in the end, I took the bait. “As opposed to all those times you went stargazing at noon?” I asked.
“I’m sorry for the inconvenience,” the pharmacist told me the other day as she revealed that since I was a new customer, I’d have to sign another form (for a total of two) before she could fill my prescription.
“I just spent two hours in a dentist chair unable to close my mouth,” I told her with a chuckle. “Compared to that, signing a second form is in no way an inconvenience!”
Even though I don’t particularly follow sports, some things, like the Super Bowl, are hard to miss, so I did know it was upcoming. What I didn’t know until I looked it up last night, was that’s it’s upcoming just up the (figurative) street from me.
Be it large scale (like an impeachment trial) or small, if the outcome of a trial is a foregone conclusion, then it’s not a trial, it’s a dog and pony show.
I’ve spent a decent amount of time making sure that, whenever possible, I’ve had the correct attribution to any quotation that I’ve ever used, and over time I’ve noticed something:
When there are multiple attributions, the attributions I find predominately superimposed over “inspirational” background pictures tend to be incorrect.
Much to my surprise, yesterday’s “falling iguana” warning got national attention. This was, in part, due to the fact that some people starting selling iguana meat online because iguanas are (rightfully so) considered an invasive nuisance species here. You’re not allowed to be cruel to them, but because there’s so much overpopulation, you are allowed to humanely cull them on your own property.
Iguanas are so prevalent, in fact, that yesterday I heard of a friend of a friend who, while predominately vegetarian, has ending up killing so many iguanas to keep his property clear that he feels that the only right thing to do is to eat what he kills. While I understand and respect his point of view, I find myself hoping he never ends up having to deal with a human trespasser . . .
You know the weather has changed around here when they issue the “falling iguana” warning.
While it’s true that even if I completed everything else, my first impulse is to feel a sense of failure if I fail to complete the last (and by definition, the least important) item on my day’s to-do list, I’m pleased to say that these days my second impulse is to not take my first impulse very seriously.
Speaking of overconfidence . . .
Here’s a pro-tip for you: If you’re trying to sit in a hammock in the dark, pay more attention to what you’re doing than to the antics of the ecstatic happy puppy at your feet lest you suddenly find yourself “Gilligan’s Island-ing” heels over head to land on your elbows on the concrete beneath you.
Candles & Curses 