Archive for April, 2020

A Canine Ahead Of Her Time

April 30, 2020

Yesterday I decided that our dog, Isa, isn’t an otherwise mild-mannered pup with the annoying habit of barking whenever someone is within six feet (or farther) of our front door.  She is, in fact . . . SOCIAL DISTANCING DOG!

This Has Been Happening A Lot Lately

April 29, 2020

Me:  I’m going to lie down for a bit and try and replenish some energy.

My son:  (not really listening) You’re going to punish what?

Me:  Replenish some energy.”  *shakes head*  I’m going to punish some synergy!

My son:  Oh, okay!

Fifteen or so minutes later my son stomps past my door noisily protesting (again) that his mother isn’t available at the exact moment he wanted her for something.

Me: (groggily)  Well . . . there’s the synergy . . .

Because Of Course It Was

April 28, 2020

Yesterday’s thought, by the way, was inspired by a political ad.

Even If I Generally Agree With You

April 27, 2020

It’s conceivable that I’m oversensitive on this point, but the moment you get obnoxious is the moment you lose my attention.  Be passionate, be forthright, be adamant if you have to, but once you cross the line into obnoxiousness . . . we’re done.

This Didn’t Make It Less Annoying OR Less Funny At The Time Though

April 24, 2020

As a follow-up to yesterday’s post:

In fairness to L’s Mother, the reason she was following me down the hallway was so she and L. could talk somewhere other than my office.  (She didn’t tell me this, but I recognized what was going on.)

And This Is Part Of Being In MY Family

April 23, 2020

Me:  *having trouble focusing my thoughts at my desk*

L’s Mother:  *comes in to my office to vent about her day*

(This is not a problem; this is just part of being a family.)

Me:  *starts to say something to L’s Mother*

L:  *comes in to my office and starts trying to talk over me to tell his mom something*

(This is a problem, albeit a minor one, but this is also just part of being a family.)

Me:  *decides to leave the office so they can talk and maybe I can find some peace to focus*

L’s Mother:  *follows me down the hallway while listening to L.*

L: *follows his mother while chatting away*

Me:  Well . . . at least I have something to write about now.

It’s Actually Worrying How Often This Sort Of Thing Comes Up As A “Relationship Problem” In Fiction

April 22, 2020

L’s Mother and I disagree on a number of points (for example, when the appropriate time to toss out old foodstuff is), but you know what we don’t disagree on?

That being forced to participate in a gladiatorial cage match to the death is always a valid excuse for being late to an important dinner no matter how important the dinner.

Maybe There’s Hope For Me Yet

April 21, 2020

Put simply, compassion isn’t my strongest trait.  I try, but all too frequently feelings like “they should have known better” or “they brought that on themselves” threaten to crowd out my empathy, but lately . . . on occasion, at least . . . I find myself thinking, “I know you’re hurting, but what you’re doing is only going to make it worse, not better.”

“The Mayor Of Shark City”

April 20, 2020

Do you ever get the feeling that too many of the current crop of politicians left the movie Jaws with the wrong takeaway message about how a politician should handle a crisis?

So That’s A “No” To Your Request

April 17, 2020

Recently I’ve been getting a lot of “post your senior pictures” requests on social media.  I dislike revealing weakness or sociopathy in public, but it seems I’m going to have to address this, so let’s see . . . how should I put it?

I detest all pictures of me, no exceptions, but there is a spectrum involved.  The positive end of that spectrum starts with, “I can tolerate this picture’s existence if I must,” and it ends with me foaming at the mouth, champing at the bit for the day my promise to my mother is no longer binding and I can turn those abominations into the smoke and ash I’ve dreamt of them being for years, and ideally I can use the burning hatred of a thousand thousand stars to start the flame.

And this is me understating my feelings on the matter.