Because We Do

I’m busy today doing the by-the-numbers prep for the incoming hurricane. Confidence is high that we’re just going to get a little wind and rain, but I never get tired of saying we take every tropical system seriously in this house.

And That’s No Exaggeration

I hate how it plays to certain tropes, but it’s no secret that L’s Mother is a big fan of alternative foods, and I am . . . not. She’s been right just often enough about the foods that she’s had me try that I don’t wince at the idea (any more), so these days I frequently just go all in on what I’m trying.

With that said, today I tried some hemp-based creamer, promptly gave a Kool-Aid Man worthy “Oh no!”, and went to inform L’s Mother that I would not be using that creamer again.

“Could you taste the hemp?” she asked.

“I could taste the rope,” I told her.

Ouch

I wish beyond words this was one of mine, but it’s not. I read it today, but it was told without a source, and I wanted to record it here so I can easily find it again later:

A proud naval captain had finally captured an infamous pirate, and for the first time they now stood face to face.

“I’ll never understand,” the captain said at last, puffing out his chest full of medals, “why a man would fight for money when he could fight for honor as I do.”

“That’s easy, mate,” the pirate replied with a grin. “We all fight for what we lack, now don’t we?”

Point To The Boy For That One

Yesterday the “Not-So-Brave Hero” was sighted around here, and (for some reason) he was being attacked by soldiers, leading to the following exchange:

The Not-So-Brave Hero (a.k.a., me): Why are you even attacking me in the first place? What are you, some kind of heedless horseman?!

Soldier #1 (a.k.a., my son): I don’t even have a horse, so that makes me a “steedless” horseman!

To Be Fair, That DID Give Me A Clear Picture Of That Candidate’s Issues!

When it comes to doing research on candidates for local elections, one of my sources is to read the responses to the survey questionnaires major newspapers typically send out to all the candidates. If the candidate can’t even be bothered to respond to said survey, that’s a major red flag for me.

In this current election, however, I discovered another red flag that I’d never actually seen quite so blatantly before. In one candidate’s response to “What are your top three issues?”, their responses were (and I’m not paraphrasing this nearly as much as I wish I were):

Issue #1: My opponent is old and lazy.

Issue #2: My opponent is rude and no one likes her.

Issue #3: Can you believe how bad my opponent is?

So It’s The Exception, Not The Rule

“I’m attending a virtual meeting in an advisory capacity this afternoon,” L’s Mother told me this morning.

“Meaning,” I chuckled, “that if they already agree with you, your input is valued and appreciated, and if they don’t agree with you, they didn’t have to listen to you anyway. Is that it?”

“Well . . . not this time . . .” L’s Mother admitted.

Granted, There HAVE Been Extenuating Circumstances

“We’ve been consistently inconsistent these past several months,” I observed to L’s Mother this morning.

Because When You’re Tranquil And Happy, It’s Easier For Me To Be

Despite my numerous failures in achieving anything more than an ephemeral sense of tranquility, I have learned from my failures, frequently with the help of those close to me.

Along those same lines, I also do my best to learn from the failures of those around me, and let me say here and now to those close to me that I am perfectly okay with you scaling back your “help” in challenging me in my endeavors.

That Didn’t Work Out Well For Them, But I Could STILL Benefit From Being More Tranquil

Truth be told, I have to admit that I just do not seem to be a naturally tranquil person, and many well-meaning people over the years have advised that, for my own benefit, I would do well to change that.

Mind you, there’s also been a few ill-meaning people who have advised the same in the hopes they could continue to treat me like garbage and I wouldn’t mind so much.

That’s GOT To Count For Something

As I once again rededicate myself to experiencing the elusive for me state of tranquility, I can’t help but reflect just how often I’ve done this.

At least I’m tranquil about how I often I’ve failed to achieve tranquility.