Archive for September, 2020

Or Maybe Somebody’s Crystal Ball Was REALLY Clear One Day In 1951

September 18, 2020

Since the theme of the week around here has predominately been about “perspective,” here’s a note to end on:

It can be a somewhat impersonal fact to note that a book has an original copyright date of 1951, but it adds a little more flavor to note that that it lists all the Presidents of the United States from George Washington to the then current President Eisenhower. (I’m presuming even though it doesn’t say, that this book is a slightly later printing that the original copyright date since Eisenhower didn’t take office until 1953.)

Something Inspired By Today’s History Lesson

September 17, 2020

One person’s “I invaded this country annually for eighteen years until they learned to give me the respect (i.e., tribute) I feel is my due,” is another person’s “For eighteen years this idiot told us he had ‘conquered’ us and that we ‘owed’ him something, and for eighteen years we disagreed.”

I’m Going To Keep It Simple Today

September 16, 2020

This candle is for the Gulf Coast in the hopes that Sally leaves them alone A.S.A.P.

I’m Not Sure You’re Going To NEED It, But You’re Welcome None The Less

September 15, 2020

Some months back I got on a collection agency’s radar because they are under the mistaken impression that my name is “Austin.” Now while it’s true that Robert Alan is my nom de crime . . . *ahem*, I mean nom de plume, I am not now, nor have I ever been, named Austin, but they seem disinclined to believe me for some reason. Given that they also don’t seem to believe the phone records, among other records, that indicate I’m not Austin, I can’t find this surprising anymore. Clearly they have a lot invested in their false belief that I’m Austin.

So, Austin, I don’t know who you owe money to, but sooner or later these people are going to realize they’re barking up the wrong tree (my money is on later . . . much, much later), and they’re going to start coming your way. I hope you appreciate the head start.

Sounds Like An “Active” Season To Me

September 14, 2020

Admittedly, the phrase “active storm season” (as in “they are predicting an active storm season”) gives a somewhat nebulous picture.

“There are currently five named storms in the Atlantic and Gulf of Mexico at this moment,” clears that right up though, now doesn’t it?

She Wouldn’t Be His Mother If She Didn’t

September 11, 2020

Yesterday my son chimed in with his two cents worth regarding my recent posts about his mother:

“You’re lucky she finds that sort of thing funny,” he essentially told me.

And while that is, of course, true as far as it goes, the more important truth is that he is lucky that she finds that sort of thing funny.

Now If I Ever Called Her Miss Piggy, On The Other Hand, I Might Actually Find Myself In A World Of Hurt

September 10, 2020

I’m always perplexed when (as I did with yesterday’s post) I get a response with some variation on the “I’ll bet she didn’t like that you said that!” theme, so here are a couple of quick points:

#1. I would never knowingly post something involving L’s Mother that she didn’t approve of.

#2. I’ve got a pretty good feel on what she finds funny and what she doesn’t, and her response to what I said yesterday was a giggle and a proud “I’m a Muppet!”.

#3. Even if she didn’t like it, what’s she going to do to me? She’s only got those little felt arms . . .

A Question I Didn’t Realize I Knew The Answer To

September 9, 2020

With five minutes to go before her meeting started, L’s Mother came out this morning proclaiming in a fake panic that she didn’t have tea, or snacks, or “anything,” and the whole display reminded me of something, but I didn’t want to verbalize it.

Evidently though, L’s Mother picked up on it too, because she then launched into a credible imitation of Kermit the Frog flailing his arms in excitement, and then I had to say it:

“If I’m ever asked, ‘Do you ever wonder what it would be like to be married to a Muppet?”, I can truthfully say that I don’t have to wonder.”

The Challenge Is Real

September 8, 2020

Only now that I’m an adult and a parent can I fully appreciate just how difficult it is for a child to let their parent(s) sleep.

My Idea Of A Labor Day Quote

September 7, 2020

I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.

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