I’m Not Sure You’re Going To NEED It, But You’re Welcome None The Less

Some months back I got on a collection agency’s radar because they are under the mistaken impression that my name is “Austin.” Now while it’s true that Robert Alan is my nom de crime . . . *ahem*, I mean nom de plume, I am not now, nor have I ever been, named Austin, but they seem disinclined to believe me for some reason. Given that they also don’t seem to believe the phone records, among other records, that indicate I’m not Austin, I can’t find this surprising anymore. Clearly they have a lot invested in their false belief that I’m Austin.

So, Austin, I don’t know who you owe money to, but sooner or later these people are going to realize they’re barking up the wrong tree (my money is on later . . . much, much later), and they’re going to start coming your way. I hope you appreciate the head start.

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