Archive for March, 2021

I Think We Might Be Getting Jaded

March 17, 2021

My son and I continue to study the history of the Roman Empire, and after class I triggered a fit of laughter from him when I said, “I’m going to the bathroom now. Don’t stab me.”

But It Made Me Smile

March 16, 2021

After one too many cases of mistaken identity happening in this house, particularly around the kitchen, I composed a little song to help my son remember to see who he’s talking to before launching into a story meant for one particular person:

Not everyone in the kitchen is your Mom.
Not everyone in the kitchen is your Mom.
It might be your Dad, or if she’s being bad,
It might be your dog and not your Mom.

He was most decidedly not impressed.

Happy “Should Have Stayed In Bed” Day

March 15, 2021

Today was one of those days that I woke up, and the first thing I thought about doing was going back to bed. After a couple of hours I considered the date and decided that this was, in fact, the perfect day to celebrate the idea of going back to bed, so I went back to bed.

I Hesitated AFTER I Was Sure He Was Fine, But Still . . .

March 12, 2021

No matter how bad your day as a parent has been, you still go to investigate the unexpected crash coming from your child’s room. I know this, and I did this.

But I admit that today I hesitated first.

Social Media Please Take Note

March 11, 2021

By my own admission I am thoroughly urbanized at this point, but I do take pride in my country roots, and there are times I even miss that little boy with an accent as harsh as a rusty saw working on an old log. One thing I learned from those roots was the importance of keeping in mind that Billy may have died as he lived, an idiot using a lighter to check for a leak in his fuel line, but still being sad because Billy left people behind who miss him. We may be among those who miss the stupid S.O.B., or we may have hated his guts, but we will damn sure not make fun of him so that it could ever get back to his mama because she doesn’t need any more pain.

No Links For This One

March 10, 2021

You know that you’re in the weird part of the Internet again when you find yourself watching Yoda and Mickey Mouse in a death battle sponsored by an online prescription service for men.

Does This Sort Of Thing Happen To Anyone Else?

March 9, 2021

Me: *Getting ready to make a snack for L.* Do you know where the jelly is? It’s not where it should be.

L’s Mother: I put it back to where we used to keep it. (I.e, where we used to keep it eight months ago!)

Funny How Often People In Power Become “Ill” When They Have Ambitious Family Members Waiting In The Wings

March 8, 2021

Recently my son and I started studying the history of the Roman Empire, and it’s already become a running joke between us how often the phrase, “and then they promptly fell ill and died” has shown up, and we’re only to the Flavians.

That Is, To The Best I Can Remember It, Word For Word How That Went

March 5, 2021

Suffice it to say that I don’t always say the right thing, but I always try, and today I found myself thinking of one of the times I did say the right thing:

Me: (Casually) What are you doing?

Her: I’m eating chocolate, which means that I am going to get fat, and then you’ll stop loving me.

Me: The only way I’ll stop loving you is if you don’t share that chocolate with me, now gimme.

Sometimes The Jokes Just Tell Themselves And I Don’t Have To Say A Word

March 4, 2021

L’s Mother has been in meetings most of this week, so I haven’t seen her very often. At one point early in the week she came out and announced that she had already “wasted” six minutes of her thirty minute break, and I responded with a quick opinion of what she could have been doing with those six minutes. (Make of that what you will and judge me how you like because I don’t care because I didn’t say it to you, and it made L’s Mother laugh as I knew it would.)

Just this morning she came out of her office, announced she had ten minutes, saw that I was standing right there with a “Well?” look on my face, and she promptly collapsed in a fit of giggles on the couch.