So That Was The Problem

While I’m still going to elaborate on yesterday’s entry, time constraints mean what I was originally going to elaborate on will be delayed. So instead I’m going to elaborate on how I was stymied by a thank-you note:

Yes, my parents “made” me write it, but if I truly thought writing it was the wrong thing to do, I wouldn’t have done it, plain and simple. I knew it was the right thing to do, I just had no idea what the right thing to say was! And yes, now I know a simple “Thank you for the thoughtful gift,” can generally cover you, at the time my thoughts were more along the lines of “Dear strangers, thank you for making me feel flustered and uncomfortable for thinking of me for absolutely no reason I am capable of understanding at the present time.”

It Was A Good Question, And I Didn’t Have A Good Answer

Look . . . disproportionate responses make me uncomfortable, and they always have. Be it overreacting or underreacting, it’s always bothered me, especially if I realize I’m doing it myself, and I have done it myself (ahem) more than a few times.

Okay, a lot more.

I still remember the day I undeniably realized I needed to change my response levels to more appropriate ones and, sadly, it wasn’t when I became stymied (and unnecessarily vocal about it) over having to write a thank-you card to a stranger for an unexpected (but thoughtful) gift.

It was the day I was working the grill in a burger place and I dramatically announced to my boss that we were, “Completely out of chicken!”, and he just looked at me and asked, “And this personally upsets you why?”

Okay, I Admit It. I Just Wanted To Do One More Socksy Joke

This morning L’s Mother and I accidently put on almost identical outfits (Which, now that I type that out, I realize that could be the lead in for much better jokes than the one I’m about to tell), except that she was wearing socks and I wasn’t (Hmmm . . . that too, come to think of it.). But this didn’t surprise me any.

She’s always been the socksy one around here.

It Seems Like A Good Day For It

While it may be some time before I can completely set down all my baggage, it’s as good as time as any to start setting down what I can.

Something I Realized Once I Started Setting Some Of It Down

So while my environment has been pretty good lately, I’ve also had reason of late to consider the effects of my past upon my present. We all have baggage, and I’m not saying mine is any heavier than anyone else’s . . . but I am tired of carrying so much of it around.

So What WAS The Most Memorable?

I dodged this question yesterday, but the most memorable lesson I’ve had to date about the effects of a bad environment was when, after some months away, I went back the place that I had spent some of the worst years of my life, and felt absolutely crushed with misery the moment I walked through the door.

Fortunately I was just there to pack up my things and move on, but I still remember that feeling.

I Wish I Could Say It Was The Most Memorable

The worst job I ever worked was the one where not just the customers, but everyone there, including bosses and coworkers, treated me like I was an idiot. Since it was a temporary gig, I did my best just to power through, but I quit the day I realized I was starting to believe them.

It was the first of many lessons I’ve received on just how much a bad environment can affect you.

I’m Starting To Think I’m Unreasonable On That Point

One constant about myself that I’ve noticed over the years is that no matter what I’m trying to recover from, every day I haven’t recovered yet I have some variation of the thought, “Shouldn’t I have been over this yesterday?”

Sometimes It Really Is A Small World, Isn’t It?

Today I find myself glancing out the window occasionally for signs of dust from the Sahara desert and thinking with awe of the man (Christian Junge) who first looked at the orange South Florida skies in the 1950’s and thought, “That looks familiar from my time in Africa, I wonder . . .”

(I can’t find a succinct link to support this fact that’s not behind a paywall, but the link provided should support it enough to get you started if you’re inclined to follow it up.)

I’m Trying To Rest Today . . . And Failing

For what it’s worth, the day is less gloomy today and so am I, so here’s a more “neutral” thought for today:

When did I get so bad at goofing off? I used to be really, really good at it!