It Never Gets Less Weird

When I got a house, I never expected to have to clean up so many corpses. I mean, I’ve only had to do it five times or so, but it’s weird to me that I’ve had to do it even once.

I wish people would just respect the “No Trespassing” sign . . .

(I am absolutely kidding about this, but I do wish the ducks and iguanas and the like could pick a different property to die on.)

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