Archive for September, 2022

As Quickly And Calmly As Possible

September 26, 2022

In all of human history, I doubt there has ever been a disaster so big that there wasn’t at least one person that “didn’t see what the big deal is.”

Don’t be that person, and if they tell you to evacuate, do yourself and your family a favor and evacuate!

At Least I Haven’t Reached The Point Where I SAY It

September 23, 2022

I know this is unkind of me, but I’ve reached the point when I’m out in public I find myself thinking, “Oh, you’re taking a selfie, huh? How . . . quaint.”

As I Went To Get Her Ice

September 22, 2022

L’s Mother: Would it be asking too much for you to get me some ice?

Me: At the moment, yes. I can do it a bit though.

L’s Mother: Okay. It’s just that I burnt myself and . . .

Me: *sighing because once again she has buried the lead*

“Now Bother Me No More For This Day”

September 21, 2022

Some years back (as social media helpfully reminded me today) I took a picture of my then toddler son looking suddenly exhausted right after he had managed to smear green cupcake frosting all over the lower half of his face. (I knew the cupcake was too big for him, but I dramatically underestimated the amount of mess he would make.)

But it was the caption I added to said picture that made me chuckle, because it’s a phrase I’ve revisited from time to time over the years since:

“Life . . . she is the mystery understood only by the clown of ennui.”

Advice Worth Repeating

September 20, 2022

It’s been said before, but the words you say in anger are the same words that are remembered long after your anger is gone.

Feeling Week(s)

September 19, 2022

That moment you realize it can’t be one of “those” weeks, because last week was one of “those” weeks and this week is going be even more of one of “those” weeks than last week was, making this week one of “THOSE” weeks.

I Learned This From MY Crazy Hobbies

September 16, 2022

Look, I never want to say that someone’s “crazy hobby” is well . . . crazy, especially if it is! How you spend your time, so long as it’s not hurting anybody, isn’t really my concern. I hope you have fun.

I also hope you realize that what you’re doing is something I like to call “optional.”

Ain’t That The Truth

September 15, 2022

Speaking of “ain’t,” it’s only relatively recently that I fully realized my tendency to use terms like “ain’t” and drawl my words when I’m emotional was more than an affectation. I genuinely told myself it was something I started when I was a teenager “to be funny,” and the habit had just ingrained itself.

Then I heard a recording of myself as I child.

I guess some things you never fully “warsh” away.

You KNOW I’m Serious When I Start Sayin’ “Ain’t”

September 14, 2022

When I mentioned yesterday’s story to L’s Mother, her response was that she’s been trying to teach L. not to just resign. She raised an excellent point that sometimes even when victory is impossible, you can still manage a draw; that’s something I’ve been trying to teach him as well.

There are several reasons why I didn’t do that yesterday though.

Strictly speaking, I could have made L. chase me around the board. I probably could have dragged the game out for some time, increasing his frustration and thus increasing the chance he made a mistake. I could have increased those chances even further with some choice insults and personal digs, or even just by being passive-aggressively annoying. By using those tactics (And I am in no way implying L’s Mother was advocating such a thing!), I probably could have gotten a draw or a frustrated concession, and possibly even a technical victory. There may even be a time and a place for those kinds of tactics.

But a friendly game with my son ain’t one of them!

I Just Wanted To Get In A Final Hit Before I Fell

September 13, 2022

“By rights I should resign here,” I told my son after I lost a game of chess to him this morning. “But I’m going to give it a few more moves.”

A few moves later I had him in an easily countered check.

Now I resign,” I announced.

I think that says a lot about me.