Yes, I Know, And It’s Fine

While I appreciate the convenience and safety of a car’s proximity sensor, it’s a little disconcerting to have a car essentially screaming at you, “Leaf! Frond! Whatever it is, it’s big and it’s close!”

I Actually Observed This In The Wild Yesterday

Friends and neighbors, I don’t care who you are, or who you think you are, but you’re going to come to a bad end if your idea of comforting someone is asking them if it would make them feel better to do something for you.

Usually, It’s Seven

Today is one of those days I feel like I’m being pulled in three different directions at once.

This is a good thing.

So I Guess I DID Know What I Was Going To Write About Today

I’m not going to pretend that I didn’t at least vaguely have this thought when I posted this yesterday, but it was quickly pointed out to me that in some circles just saying, “Happy Thanksgiving” could be considered negative.

It’s not that I don’t get that, I do, but I think it’s important to acknowledge the intention behind what someone says.

I’ve NO Idea What I’m Going To Post Tomorrow Though

In honor of Thanksgiving, L’s Mother asked me to go seventy-two hours without sharing anything even remotely negative no matter how interesting or funny, so . . .

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Yeah, There’s A Potential Joke Here, But I’m Actually Serious

When I was younger I didn’t like approaching people because I never got the sense that they liked me. It was only when I was older that I realized that, while I was technically correct, it wasn’t that they disliked me, they didn’t like me because they didn’t know me well enough to like me . . . or dislike me, for that matter.

Dear Isa

Little dog, I know there are times you can’t help but be under foot, and I know you don’t understand the harshness in my voice when I tell you to move sometimes, but let the record reflect that harshness is in my voice because I’m carrying something that if I dropped it on you, would kill you dead.

In the parlance of my youth, “roll a saving throw, you’re still dead!”

Sharing My Pains With The Glass

Today I watched a glass fall from a five-foot surface and heroically survive the initial impact, only to shatter dramatically after a five-millimeter bounce. I was more bemused than anything else because I’ve had days like that too.

Spoiler Alert: It Would Have Been Better To Change Tactics

The other day I was watching someone talk about why battle casualties were so high in World War I compared to prior wars. In their opinion, one of the main reasons was because there was a general feeling that the battle tactics being used were “tested, tried, and true,” and therefore if they failed, it was “obviously” the fault of the soldiers, so there was no need to change the tactics. If the soldiers were only “stronger, braver and truer,” the tactics would “naturally” work the next time.

Or the next time . . . or the time after that . . . or maybe the time after that . . . but eventually!

Because I Was Going Out For A “Walk-a Walk-a Walk-a”

Me: I get how rhyming slang can be fun and all that, but it seems like an unnecessarily convoluted form of self-amusement to me.

Also Me: Right. I’m heading out for a Fozzie!