Yay, Only One! Wait . . . How Many Are Normally Closed In A Week? Oh . . .

It just can’t be a good sign when the headline is “Only one restaurant closed for health violations last week.”

I Referenced This In A Conversation Today, And Then Realized I’ve Never Defined It For Others Before

I’m familiar with the concept of déjà vu, of course, but in my life I’ve more commonly felt what I’ve dubbed “déjà oops,” the feeling that I’ve done this before and I screwed it up the first time too . . .

My Personal Questionnaire For Non-Critical Tasks (Updated Over Time)

The old question I’d ask myself: Can I do this?

The old answer I’d give myself: Of course I can!

The newer follow-up question: At a reasonable cost to myself?

The newer follow-up answer: Yes! Probably . . .

The newest follow-up question: While genuinely smiling about it?

The newest follow-up answer: Um . . .

Has That EVER Worked?

Do you ever get the feeling that some people’s idea of “balancing the scales” is to pile weight on one side until the scale breaks?

It Was More Satisfying Than Buying Better Boots Too

I used to really love snow, but then there came the day I wondered if I was going to lose toes because I tried to walk seven blocks to work after a heavy snowfall. It turns out snowplows clear roads, not sidewalks, and after making it only three blocks in thirty minutes, I ducked into a nearby restaurant and called a cab to take me the remaining four blocks.

That was some of the best money I’d ever spent until the day I paid the moving costs to get out of snow territory.

That’s Why I Don’t Trust Extremely Happy People

Emotions are healthy, and there is absolutely such a thing as healthy anger, healthy sadness, and so on. I know of no hard and fast definitions of exactly what that means, but as with most things, the closer you get to the extremes, the more likely it is that you’re moving into unhealthy territory.

It’s A Southern Thing

I don’t do it on purpose (except when I do), but what I say is on occasion best understood if you also understand what I’m not saying.

Especially When Said Person Shares A House With You

To those who asked me yesterday why I didn’t just start in on the cake instead of waiting, well . . . let me put it this way:

The phrase, “Would you like to join me for cake and coffee?” doesn’t exactly lend itself to starting without the person you invited to join you . . . not safely, at least.

New Level Of Impatience Discovered

(Yes, I am working on accepting the moment for what it is, thanks for asking, but with that said . . .)

Just below “monkey waiting for a donut” level of impatience is the level of “we have cake, the coffee is ready, what do you mean you’re not available right now?”

A Cruel Truth

The Universe can indeed be a cruel place at times, but there’s no need to “teach” your children that by being cruel to them. Not only will they figure it out on their own soon enough, the only thing that you’ll accomplish is increasing the cruelty level around you and your children.