Archive for the ‘Lala’ Category

Something I Began To Suspect Thirty Minutes Before The Movie Ended

July 25, 2017

“Just watch the first ten minutes of this movie, and if you don’t like it, we can watch something else,” Lala said last night.

This sounded reasonable to me, so I watched the first ten minutes and did indeed enjoy it, so I watched the rest of the movie.

Now if only she had suggested I watch the last ten minutes of the movie, I’d have known not to waste my time . . .

Oh. Oh! Then Yes I DID See You, But . . . Um . . . Yeah, I Saw You

July 3, 2017

So I’m out driving today, and while stopped at a stop light I noticed somebody’s arm flailing out the driver’s side window from a car ahead of me.  It takes me a moment, because all I can really see is the arm, but I eventually decide the gesture is intended to be a wave.

Why is that idiot waving? I thought to myself.  It’s not like anybody can tell why they’re waving, or even who they’re waving to!

When I got home I found Lala had arrived there just before I did, and the first thing she said to me was “Did you see me earlier?”

“No,” I answered.  (Yes, I know that you see where this is going, but at the time I had zero reason to expect what was about to happen next.)

“Really?” she asked, sounding disappointed.  “I waved and everything . . .”

My Kingdom For A Cross Street!

June 27, 2017

Today my entry was delayed by my decision to accompany my son and Lala on a little outing that turned out to be not quite so little after all.  The main reason for this was because at one point our next destination was close “as the crow flies,” but we were driving, not riding crows . . .

That Still Counts, I Guess

May 18, 2017

“You are a goddess among mortals,” I told Lala yesterday as she handed me a much needed cup of cheer.

Preening, she responded with, “I’ve always known that, but it’s nice to have it acknowledged.”

I looked at her askance.  “A goddess of arrogance, it seems,” I sighed.

I Thought It Was The Perfect Retort

April 24, 2017

The other day at work one of Lala’s coworkers literally swept her off her feet into a hug.  Now, Lala is on the tall side, so this was a new experience for her.

“He just picked me up like I was nothing!” she gushed to another coworker.

“Oh, honey, you’re beautiful!” said coworker replied, meaning well, but completely missing the point and underscoring just how . . . odd this culture can be when it comes weight.

Lala just looked at her quizzically and retorted, “Nobody said anything about me being ugly!”

Not . . . Both Of Them, No

March 16, 2017

After posting yesterday, I told Lala that I had “successfully found two thoughts to rub together,” and that I was going back to bed now.

“Those thoughts were about girls, weren’t they?” she asked with a smirk.

Lala, I’m Looking At YOU!

January 12, 2017

This week my son’s class talked about the power of the word “yet” in the sense that it’s not that you “can’t” do something, it’s just that you can’t do it yet.

It’s an important lesson, and I say that as a parent who has all but banned his son from using the word “never” until he learns to use it properly and not just as part of a frustrated “I’ll never be able to do this!”  (Spoiler:  Once he calms down and stops fussing at whatever it is he’s fussing at, he usually can, and when he can’t, he generally just needs more practice before he can.)

Still . . .  there’s a time and a place for every lesson, and when you know that someone is feeling awful after a terrible night, and they’ve just snarled at you for greeting them with a cheery “Good morning!”, grinning at them and saying “You mean it’s not a good morning yet!” is just flat out poking the bear.

The Exact Time This Morning Was “Too Early”

November 7, 2016

Overheard this morning:

“Watch your kid knee around my kidney!”

Because *I’m* The Master Of Sarcasm Around Here

November 1, 2016

Lala:  (Sarcastically and like Magenta from Rocky Horror.)  Master, your coffee is prepared!

Me:  If you’re going to say it, say it like you mean it.

When Worlds Collide

October 26, 2016

Me:  I don’ t understand it when I see girls wearing short skirts paired with heavy leggings.

Lala:  Sometimes it’s too cold to wear a skirt without leggings.

Me:  Then isn’t it too cold to wear a skirt then?

Lala:  (Long pause)  Whaaaaaat?