Archive for the ‘Lala’s Larks And Lamentations’ Category

I Was Deeply Offended (Because Her Joke Was Better Than Mine)

June 18, 2019

Lala got me some beard conditioner for Father’s Day because there have been one too many “Ouch!  Pokey!” complaints from the household of late, and I wanted to give some conditioner a shot.  When she gave it to me I found myself looking mildly askance at the brand name, “Naked Prince.”

“I prefer princesses, given a choice . . .” I started to say, but Lala both cut me off and topped my intended joke.

“Especially for rubbing on your face,” she concluded for me as innocently as it’s possible to say something like that innocently.

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Maybe She Has A Point After All

June 14, 2019

Paraphrased from a text conversation between me and Lala:

Me:  “Just dropped L’s Mother off  for her appointment.  Now to make the decision on how to spend my time for a bit.”

Lala:  “You’ll find some place awesome.  You have that knack.”

 Me:  (thinking) I don’t know if that’s really accurate.

Me: (Also thinking, but now after I’ve finished eating)  That deep fried raspberry cheesecake with vanilla ice cream, whipped cream, and caramel drizzle really was pretty good.

Shared In Honor Of Lala’s Return From Camping In The Woods

May 31, 2019

There once was a chigger,

Who wasn’t any bigger,

Than the point of a very small pin.

But the lump that he raises,

Itches like the blazes,

And that’s where the rub comes in, comes in,

That’s where the rub comes in!

– A bit of old verse taught to me by my mother

Further Proof That She And I Are From Different Worlds

April 17, 2019

While out with the household last week, I noticed in an off-hand sort of way that Lala had brought her braid forward while talking to a couple of guys.  I didn’t think anything of it, but evidently she had.

“I wasn’t really preening,” she told me later.  “I was just showing off my hair.”

“That’s preening,” I reminded her with a puzzled tilt of my head.

“I know!” she exclaimed with a flustered sigh.

When NOT Making The Joke Leads To More Jokes

April 4, 2019

Lala:  I’m going to draw a bath.

Me:  *doesn’t take the joke bait, but it doesn’t make any difference*

Lala:  . . . with crayon!

L’s Mother:  You should use water colors instead!

Points For Timing (And I Actually Heard Most Of This)

April 3, 2019

To follow-up on yesterday, apparently right after I went back today for a quick nap, my son lost his pet rock.  (It was later recovered.) While he and Lala searched the house, he asked her if they should ask me if I knew where it was.

Checking the bedroom door and finding it locked (something I do when I want to make it clear I’m not to be casually disturbed), my son wanted to knock, but Lala said no.

“If he’s resting, we shouldn’t wake him with a loud knock,” she said.

*Cue the only delivery man in weeks to actually knock on our door loud enough to be heard to knock like the police are about to break down our door.*

“Yeah, like that one,” Lala sighed.

“Yes, That Was Exactly It”

March 20, 2019

“Who bought the ‘Would-Kill-Me-If-I-Ate-It pie?'” L’s Mother asked me yesterday.

“Lala,” I answered.  “She knew I was feeling down and thought it might help.”

L’s Mother considered that for a moment.  “And she blamed me for your mood, is that it?” she asked with a smirk.

Because What WAS Clear Was That The Book She Was Holding Hadn’t Been Written By Me

March 8, 2019

“This is my second favorite book in the whole world,” Lala told me the other day as she thumbed through a book off her bookshelf.

“I’m just going to leave now while there’s still some ambiguity,” I replied with a chuckle.

He’d Obviously Thought This One Through

February 21, 2019

“You have on weird socks,” my son, L., undiplomatically told Lala the other day.

In fairness, they were even weirder than he knew, and Lala demonstrated this by showing him what was written on the bottoms:  “If you can read this,” it said on one sock; “bring me coffee,” was written on the other.

Without saying a word, L. (eight years old) turned and walked away.  Not long after he returned . . . with a cup of coffee.

“How . . .?” Lala managed to ask once she got past her shock.

L. gleefully explained how he’d gotten a stool so he could reach the coffee mugs (something I would have assumed would have been out of his reach even with a stool), then poured her a cup from the coffee pot.

Expecting the worse, Lala went into the kitchen expecting some sort of disaster, a broken mug, spilled coffee . . . something, but all was pristine.

“That was very nice,” she told him.  “But next time be very careful around the coffee maker.  It could have been hot.”

“I know,” he said.  “That’s why I did a careful temperature check first, so I knew it wasn’t hot.”

“It Is Now That You’ve Given Me The Closer”

February 14, 2019

“Remember you have class at nine,” I reminded my son this morning.

“Oh, right!” Lala exclaimed.  “It’s a holiday for me, but not for him.”

Despite my best efforts, I started laughing.  “You have just summed up Valentine’s Day,” I chortled.

She looked at me askance for a few moments, then I watched the realization dawn in her eyes as to why I was still laughing.  “Is this going to be Candles & Curses?” she asked.