Archive for the ‘Lala’s Larks And Lamentations’ Category

“Yes, That Was Exactly It”

March 20, 2019

“Who bought the ‘Would-Kill-Me-If-I-Ate-It pie?'” L’s Mother asked me yesterday.

“Lala,” I answered.  “She knew I was feeling down and thought it might help.”

L’s Mother considered that for a moment.  “And she blamed me for your mood, is that it?” she asked with a smirk.

Because What WAS Clear Was That The Book She Was Holding Hadn’t Been Written By Me

March 8, 2019

“This is my second favorite book in the whole world,” Lala told me the other day as she thumbed through a book off her bookshelf.

“I’m just going to leave now while there’s still some ambiguity,” I replied with a chuckle.

He’d Obviously Thought This One Through

February 21, 2019

“You have on weird socks,” my son, L., undiplomatically told Lala the other day.

In fairness, they were even weirder than he knew, and Lala demonstrated this by showing him what was written on the bottoms:  “If you can read this,” it said on one sock; “bring me coffee,” was written on the other.

Without saying a word, L. (eight years old) turned and walked away.  Not long after he returned . . . with a cup of coffee.

“How . . .?” Lala managed to ask once she got past her shock.

L. gleefully explained how he’d gotten a stool so he could reach the coffee mugs (something I would have assumed would have been out of his reach even with a stool), then poured her a cup from the coffee pot.

Expecting the worse, Lala went into the kitchen expecting some sort of disaster, a broken mug, spilled coffee . . . something, but all was pristine.

“That was very nice,” she told him.  “But next time be very careful around the coffee maker.  It could have been hot.”

“I know,” he said.  “That’s why I did a careful temperature check first, so I knew it wasn’t hot.”

“It Is Now That You’ve Given Me The Closer”

February 14, 2019

“Remember you have class at nine,” I reminded my son this morning.

“Oh, right!” Lala exclaimed.  “It’s a holiday for me, but not for him.”

Despite my best efforts, I started laughing.  “You have just summed up Valentine’s Day,” I chortled.

She looked at me askance for a few moments, then I watched the realization dawn in her eyes as to why I was still laughing.  “Is this going to be Candles & Curses?” she asked.

I May Never Be Comfortable With That

December 26, 2018

Logically I know that Lala loves pizza crusts almost as much as I despise them, so I’m more than happy to hand them over to her after I finish off a slice of pizza, but every time it still feels like I’m saying, “Good news, girl!  There is food leftover, so today you may eat!”

Overheard While L. And Lala Were Playing Chess

December 24, 2018

Lala: (after L. had taken her pawn)  Bye, pawn!

L:  You know what they say, “let ‘bye pawns’ be ‘bye pawns‘”.

Fortunately, I Had

December 21, 2018

Me:  So I just read that Julie Andrews voices some kind of monster in Aquaman.

Lala and L’s Mother:   (simultaneously)  Really?!  We have to see this movie!

Me:  Wow.  I hope I read that right then.

L’s Mother:  (teasing, but ominously)  I hope you did too.

Lala Thought This Was Hilarious

December 20, 2018

While at Disney World, Lala and L’s Mother meet a few princesses, one of them being Ariel.  Ariel took one look at Lala and said, “I thought *I* had long hair; you couldn’t get a dinglehopper through that . . . you’d have to use my father’s trident!”

You Have To Think Of These Things When You’re Planning How To Use Space

December 19, 2018

We’re finally getting the chance around here to put our (literal) house back in order in the wake of the three months of construction work, so today Lala asked me if she could make recovering the hall closet her day’s project.

“That depends,” I answered.  “What do you intend to do with it?”

“Turn it back into a linen closet,” she replied.

“Perfect,” I said.  “I just didn’t want to tell you to go ahead and find out after the fact that you were using it to store . . . I don’t know . . .”

“Bodies!” she suggested.

“Yes, exactly!  That closet would be terrible for storing bodies in!”

“I thought it would be perfect,” she said with a facetious pout.

“Well you’re wrong then,” I told her.  “It’s too narrow for a start, and you’d have to chop the bodies up to fit them on the shelves and that would be a huge mess!”