Archive for the ‘Letters to L.’ Category

Back To School

August 15, 2019

My son is less than thrilled with this, but in fairness, I feel the same way.  Hopefully the new tools and approach we’re trying this year will sway us, but it’s too early to tell.

Wish us luck.

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The Worst Joke I Told My Son This Week

August 9, 2019

So this guy is getting ready to travel through the cursed forest of Am, and is understandably concerned about the evil reputation the forest’s trees have.  A local guide assures him that while the trees might look fearsome, they were, in fact, completely harmless.

So assured, the guy enters the forest and, sure enough, the trees don’t bother him, but once he’s a ways into the woods, the shrubs start flailing at him and even chasing him down when he tried to run.  Bleeding from numerous wounds, he barely escapes the forest with his life.

Once he had recovered, he tracks down the guide and confronts him.  “You told me the forest was safe!” he shouted.  “But I nearly died when those shrubs attacked me!”

“I told you the trees of Am were harmless,” the guide corrected.  “But you’ve still got to watch out for Am-bushes.”

Painfully Accurate Phrasing There, Son

August 8, 2019

I’m sorry you only got thirty-nine winks of sleep last night.

– My son, L., age 8

The Dog Still Hates Them, Of Course

July 5, 2019

Last night was the first 4th of July that I can remember my son really enjoying the fireworks.  This made me happy.

I just wanted to record that.

I’m Calling This One A Win

June 17, 2019

“Looks like we’re going to be cooped up here again,” my son sighed this morning, and to be fair, it’s rained so much here over the last several days that I wouldn’t be terribly surprised to find out the house had grown gills, so I understood where he was coming from.

Even so, one of the continuing challenges of parenthood for me is not reacting poorly to “kid drama” like coming into the room and making bleak announcements like the one above, but this time I think I did okay.

“Another way to look at it is to view this as a chance to do anything we want to do inside the house,” I told my son.  “For instance, I imagined it’d be pretty hard to play a game of Yahtzee while on a walk outside.”

He agreed.  He didn’t want to play Yahtzee (which mildly disappointed me), but he agreed, and we both got on with our day.

Another Example Of The Importance Of Timing In Comedy

June 6, 2019

Since my son pointed out it’s been “a while” since I last devoted a post to him specifically, this one is for him.

I’m glad you enjoyed the “preceding” story, kiddo, but I’m even gladder that I woke up in a good mood so you preceding me all over the house this morning was funny to me as well and not just you.

And Not The Cheesy Fun Kind Either

April 23, 2019

As we approach the final stretch of 2nd grade, we can take some cold comfort in the fact that we’re fine grade-wise.  Academically, this past year looks amazing.

Emotionally, however . . . how do I put this?

This past year hasn’t been an emotional roller coaster; more like an emotional house of horrors.

We Could Use It

April 22, 2019

With a little luck, we’re on the final week of schoolwork needed for my son to put second grade behind him.

So wish us luck.

I’ll Probably Still Be At Least Humming It Tomorrow As Well

April 15, 2019

This morning:  Went over the Preamble to the Constitution with my son.

By afternoon:  Realized I had already sung the damn song easily a dozen times.

An Excerpt From Some Play With My Son

April 10, 2019

Mysterious Voice (My son):  Once again we need your help on an adventure.

Our “Not So Brave” Hero (Me):  Can’t you get somebody else to do it?

Mysterious Voice:  We wanted Superman, but he’s on another continent.

Our “Not So Brave” Hero:  I can wait.

Mysterious Voice:  No!

Our “Not So Brave” Hero:  Fiiiiiiiiine.