Archive for the ‘Letters to L.’ Category

So That’s How I Ended Up Accidently Pranking My Son This Morning

August 6, 2021

This morning as I walked into the bathroom I noticed what looked at first glance to be a bug in the bathtub. However a second glance convinced me that it was probably just a small bath toy that had taken a tumble. It being early in the morning, I honestly didn’t care either way, but I made a mental note to deal with it, whatever it was, after I had woken up.

Cue my son intercepting me as I walked out of the bathroom to inform me, “There’s a bug in the tub.”

Aha!” I thought. “He’s trying to prank me.” And sure enough, closer inspection proved that it was indeed a bath toy and not a bug.

Feeling proud of myself for seeing through his ruse, I scooped up the toy in my hand, walked into my son’s room, and proclaimed, “Here’s your ‘bug!'” while presenting it for his inspection.

Have I mentioned he doesn’t like bugs? Well . . . he doesn’t.

And he wasn’t trying to prank me either.

I’m Going To Need More Ice Cream

August 5, 2021

“So I know I’ve not been available much these past few days in particular,” I told my son earlier, “but I did remember to pick up some more cake for you.”

“Thanks,” he replied, “but I think I’m taking a break from cake for dessert for a while, so you can have it.”

An entire cake, up to me to eat all by myself, I found myself thinking. I have mixed feelings about this . . .

And Suddenly It Sounded Like Less Of A Good Idea

July 19, 2021

Walk with me on this one.

A while back our family got gifted with a set of assorted card games with custom decks for each game. One of those games was Old maid, and yesterday my son asked me if I wanted to play it.

Before answering I explained to him that the term “Old maid” was an outdated insult, but the game itself was harmless enough (beyond arguably needing a new name), so I said yes. The custom deck had matching fruit and vegetable cards, and the “old maid” card actually looked more like a young farmer that I thought like L’s Mother in overalls. (She agreed with this, by the way.) So it seemed like a good idea at that moment in time to suggest that we rename the game in our house after L’s mother.

Until I realized that by the rules of the game, whoever ended up with her card was the loser . . .

I Have To Admit That Sounds Pretty Weird To Me

June 4, 2021

How weird would be if you made something, and it periodically disassembled itself and give a piece of itself back to you to show how grateful it was?

– L, age 10, in response to learning that some religions used to believe that you had to shed human blood to repay the gods for creating humanity

Just To Clarify

June 3, 2021

Before I got interrupted yesterday, I was planning to say that, for the record, while I consider ten way too young for that kind of language, I’m not foolish enough to believe my son doesn’t know it.

When Gaming And Birthdays Collide

May 31, 2021

She’s [age redacted]? It’s time for her to start gearing up!

– L., age 10, making a joke upon hearing his grandmother’s age

That Was Fair (And Funny)

May 28, 2021

I think it’s time for you to shut the “L” up now on that joke.

– My son, L, after me telling one too many “L” jokes the other day

I Did, And I Think He’s Growing Up Fast

April 23, 2021

Yesterday while I was replacing the batteries in one of my son’s toys, he grinned at me and with a knowing chuckle asked, “Hey, Dad. Remember when I said those looked like Double A holes to me, and do you remember the Ash hat Pikachu?”

Good Job, Son

April 14, 2021

I do want to say that I was mostly kidding about not knowing what to write about yesterday. Sure it’s true that I generally write about what I’m thinking most about at that moment, but there have been plenty of times that for one reason or another I’ve decided to write about something else.

Today, for instance, what I’m thinking about most is the sad state of the world, but what I’m going to write about is how my son is handling said state of the world with a grace that far exceeds my own.

The Truth Came Out When People Starting Pressing For Details

April 12, 2021

Today in class my son learned an important lesson about how bias (and arrogance) can influence how one interprets data. Put another way, one person’s religious megalith is another person’s olive press.