Archive for the ‘Letters to L.’ Category

He’s Learning!

April 15, 2022

“Don’t come this way!” my son exclaimed as I walked into the room today. Before I could make a joke like I had last time though, he quickly added, “I wasn’t talking to you!”

It’s Right Up There With “Don’t Spit Into The Solar Wind”

April 8, 2022

“Don’t step in the black hole,” my son said as I passed him this morning. (He was playing a game.)

“Okay,” I answered.

“I wasn’t talking to you,” he sighed.

“I know,” I acknowledged, “but ‘don’t step in the black hole‘ sounds like good advice to me.”

“Okay, yeah . . .” he agreed.

We Can Cover “Be Prepared to Duck” In A Future Lecture

April 1, 2022

So today is April Fools’ Day here, and in honor of that I held a special “The Science of Humor and Pranking” class with my son. We covered topics from “The Rule of Three” to “Practical (Joke) Applications of the Blown Out Egg Shell,” but the most important thing we covered is “Be Prepared to Apologize if a Joke Falls Flat.”

And That’s One Of The Many Reasons I’m Proud Of Him

March 24, 2022

Today is the memorial service for my cousin, and I am saddened by that. My son (who never even met my cousin) is not.

Like I told him, I think it’s perfectly understandable for him not to be sad at the death of someone he didn’t even know existed before they died; the important thing is that he understands and respects that other people are sad over this.

And he does.

Or The Second, Or The Third . . .

January 6, 2022

“I give up!” my son proclaimed (loudly) while playing a game this morning.

“Forever?” I asked.

“No, just for now,” he answered.

“Good,” I chuckled, “because if I gave up ‘forever’ the first time your mother frustrated me, you wouldn’t be here.”

I’m Not Sure What’s Going To Happen Next

December 3, 2021

Today my son reprimanded me for playing my music too loud.

He wasn’t wrong (it was that kind of song), but I still feel like a fundamental balance of the universe has been disrupted.

A Quick Candle For My Son

November 24, 2021

I want to commend you, son, for realizing that much of what people argue about today are indeed “social constructs.” (I’m presuming your mother introduced you to that concept because that’s not a turn of phrase I use.) Once you think about, you start to realize that it’s frankly impossible for every place that claims, for instance, to make “the world’s best pizza” to actually make the world’s best pizza no matter how passionately their fans argue the point.

Once you realize that, you can appreciate the different styles of pizza and pick your own favorite.

So I Guess We WON’T Be Watching The Eclipse Then

November 18, 2021

“I’m not getting up in the middle of the night to watch a glorified lunar cycle on fast forward.”

– L.

That’s Why We Shouted “Unsurprise!” At The Party

November 3, 2021

“How can it be a surprise party?” my son asked me. “It’s not like I don’t know it’s my birthday!”

He had a point.

Because Like I Said, I KNOW How Things Work Around Here

October 6, 2021

I have since found out that the aforementioned “worm slingshot” incident involved a stretchable toy worm and stretching it out to “slingshot” it across the room. Apparently both L. and his mother were unprepared for the amount of force this generated, but were fortunate enough to not hit anything breakable.

And, yes, L’s Mother was indeed the instigator.