Archive for the ‘Letters to L.’ Category

But That Might Be Bit Of An Advanced Concept For Third Grade

October 2, 2019

One of the third grade goals for my son this year is to get him more comfortable with timed tests.  Naturally, he wanted to know why this was a goal.

“Lots of things in life are like timed tests, so it’s important to be able to work with time limits,” I told him, then I paused before adding, “In fact, some people would argue that life itself is a timed test.”

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That’s What I Thought

September 30, 2019

My son:  Can I have some chips and salsa?

Me:  Sure!

My son:  Can you get me some water while you’re at it?

Me:  Yeah, I can do that.

My son:  Oh, and can you turn on the light for me?

Me:  Because I know you can’t reach it yourself, yes . . . yes, I can.

My son:  Ah!  Isa left something on the pad that needs to be cleaned up!  Can you clean it up?

Me:  Yeeeesss, but you’re already pretty deep in your requests to me, so it’s going to be a few moments before I get to that.  Plus, do you really want me to clean up after the dog before I handle the food you’re about to eat?

My son:  Just let me know when it’s safe to come to the table, okay?

Sometimes You DO Get To Have Your Cake And Eat It Too!

September 25, 2019

“So what games can we play with a deck of cards?” my son asked me this morning.

It was fairly easy for me to not give in to my first impulse, so I just chuckled and said, “Lots, but that reminds me.  If anybody ever asks you if you want to play 52-Card Pickup, just say no, okay?”

“Why?” he asked.  “What’s that?  Can you show me?”

“Do you really want me to do that?” I asked him in a tone that he’s old enough by now to recognize means that either a trick or a bad joke (or both) is about to follow.

“Yes!” he answered with a big grin.

What followed was the finest stream of cards I have ever shot in someone’s direction in my entire life.

So That’s Pretty Good

September 23, 2019

I don’t have a “perfect” life (if that phrase even means anything), but what I do have is a life where my son can ask me, “Dad, do you want to play with me?” and I can say “Yes.”

Today’s Piece Of Advice For My Son

September 12, 2019

Learn early the difference between the things you need to do, and the things that other people are only telling you that you need to do, so that you can better recognize the times that you still need to do something despite the fact that someone told you that you need to do it.

He’s Been Watching British Programing Again

August 27, 2019

My son this morning:  Do you want to hear a joke?

Me:  (Mentally sighing because it’s really early.)  Sure.

My son:  How do you get four elephants in a Mini?

Me:  (Mentally:  I’ve always hated this joke, and why is he including a British car in it?  Oh, well . . .)   Outloud:  Two in the front and two in the back.

My son:  Right!  Now how do you get two whales in a Mini?

Me:  (Mentally:  Really?!)  Outloud:  One in the front and one in the back?

My son:  No, you take the M4 from London!

Me:  (Mentally piecing it together.  Wait, what?  “How do you get to Wales in a Mini?”  Oh!)  Outloud:  That’s terrible!  I’m so proud of you!

Although Staying Calm Will Help With Survival In General

August 19, 2019

As my son enters 3rd grade, in addition to working on the standard subjects, I’m adding a course I’m simply labeling “Life Skills.”  It’s a work in progress, and will likely end up being a mixed bag of skill sets, so it’s a bit hard to describe precisely at the moment.

When I mentioned this to my son, he asked, “Do you mean things like how to find food in the forest?”.

Chuckling, I responded, “We could add that down the line if you like, but for a starter I was thinking more along the lines of meditation.”

Back To School

August 15, 2019

My son is less than thrilled with this, but in fairness, I feel the same way.  Hopefully the new tools and approach we’re trying this year will sway us, but it’s too early to tell.

Wish us luck.

The Worst Joke I Told My Son This Week

August 9, 2019

So this guy is getting ready to travel through the cursed forest of Am, and is understandably concerned about the evil reputation the forest’s trees have.  A local guide assures him that while the trees might look fearsome, they were, in fact, completely harmless.

So assured, the guy enters the forest and, sure enough, the trees don’t bother him, but once he’s a ways into the woods, the shrubs start flailing at him and even chasing him down when he tried to run.  Bleeding from numerous wounds, he barely escapes the forest with his life.

Once he had recovered, he tracks down the guide and confronts him.  “You told me the forest was safe!” he shouted.  “But I nearly died when those shrubs attacked me!”

“I told you the trees of Am were harmless,” the guide corrected.  “But you’ve still got to watch out for Am-bushes.”

Painfully Accurate Phrasing There, Son

August 8, 2019

I’m sorry you only got thirty-nine winks of sleep last night.

– My son, L., age 8