Archive for the ‘The Wit And Wisdom Of L’s Mother’ Category

It Took Me A Second, But I Got It

August 14, 2018

In part due to the aforementioned cloud over this house yesterday, I told L’s Mother that I was going to another room and shutting the door for a bit “until the urge to run away from home passes.”

To which she responded, “Do you want me to knock so you know when it’s passed?”

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This Was Last Night, By The Way

August 2, 2018

Years ago I remember Dad telling me how every task in the eyes of one of his bosses was “priority one,” which eventually prompted my dad to ask said boss to please clarify what was “priority one alpha,” “priority one beta,” “priority one gamma,” and so on.

L’s Mother and I do our best to keep this idea in mind in our daily routines, but lately her job has necessitated priorities above “priority one alpha” which she has dubbed “OMG alpha,” “OMG beta,” and “OMG gamma.”

Because That IS Who We Are

July 20, 2018

Now I freely admit regarding the event I mentioned yesterday, that a lesser woman would have made my life Hell for a while after something like that, but not L’s Mother.  That’s just not who either of us are.  Another case in point:

Not long after the picture incident, L’s Mother came in and started venting about something at work, and while I was listening, I was also lacking some necessary context, so I was only getting about half the story and I knew it.  Even so, I kept listening, and as the story continued I pulled her a little closer to me.

Smirking, she paused and said, “Annnnd you haven’t heard a word I’ve said, have you?”

Feigning offense, I retorted “Of course I have!”

“Uh huh,” she said.  “And what word have you heard?”

“‘Said'” I said with a grin.

Not Even REMOTELY What I Meant!

July 19, 2018

Noting that her hair looked particularly good one day, L’s Mother asked me to take a picture of her; pleased with the results, she decided to use said picture to update her work profile picture.  Personally I felt the picture, while technically fine, didn’t really capture her . . . . essence, for lack of a better word, so later on I mentioned I didn’t care for the picture because it “didn’t look like her” to me.

This prompted her to burst into peals of laughter.

Suspicious and wary, but still needing to know, I asked her what was so funny.

Still laughing, she gasped, “Everyone at the office today told me they liked it because it made me look pretty!”

And That’s Why I Said It

July 13, 2018

L. (Age 7):  Sometimes I lose my mind and don’t know what I’m saying.

Me (Age “Old enough to know better, but young enough to go for the joke anyway to see if his mother is listening.”):  You get that from your mother!

L’s Mother (Age “Ageless”):  Did you just say he gets that from me?  I was going to say that!

No Good News Goes Unsnarked (But, Seriously, We Were Glad To Hear It)

April 12, 2018

Me:  “By the way, the baby is fine.  He no longer needs oxygen, so they sent him home.”

L’s Mother:  “He no longer needs oxygen?!  What kind of baby is this?”

Me:  “You know what I meant!”

I Knew As Soon As She Grinned And Launched Into A Silly Dance

February 7, 2018

“Do you want to watch something funny and short before bed?” L’s Mother asked me last night, so I took a step back and looked at her expectantly.

She got it.

I Was

August 4, 2017

I was looking for directions on the box on how to prepare this, and the first thing I saw was “keep frozen” and I thought to myself, “That doesn’t sound tasty at all!”

– L’s Mother’s latest attempt to see if I was really listening to her

Her Response: “Well . . . YEAH!”

August 3, 2017

It turns out that a while back someone asked my wife and one of her coworkers what the secret of a successful marriage was.  The coworker stressed the importance of harmony and that the wife should tend to all the husband’s needs, wants, and comforts.

It was at this point in the story that I interrupted my wife’s telling to laugh and observe that “Clearly your philosophy is different!”

Um . . . Phrasing!

July 18, 2017

Pokémon Go continues to be a thing around here, so occasionally I find myself being roped into Pokémon hunts.  I’m still okay with this, but some hunts go better than others, of course.

Recently a special Pikachu, one wearing Ash‘s hat, showed up on sightings while we were out, and off we went in search.  The hunt . . . did not go well at first, and both L. and his mother were getting frustrated, until finally L’s Mother exclaimed, “Where is that Ash hat Pikachu?!”