Archive for the ‘The Wit And Wisdom Of L’s Mother’ Category

On The Positive Side, The Water Pouring On My Foot Woke Me Up Pretty Quick

July 15, 2021

After stumbling into the kitchen early this morning, I noticed that the water dispenser we usually keep in the refrigerator was sitting on the kitchen counter. While still bleary-eyed, I could see that it was empty, and guessed (correctly) that L’s Mother had intended to refill it, but got interrupted. While still sleepy, I figured (correctly) that I was awake enough to refill a water dispenser.

What I wasn’t awake enough for was to notice that L’s Mother had left the spigot on the dispenser open.

So, Yeah . . . That Happened

July 14, 2021

Here’s another one for the “Things Like This Really Happen To Me” file:

The other night L’s Mother had a dream that “nature spirits” wanted to get her something for her upcoming birthday. She didn’t tell me this because she didn’t take this terribly seriously because . . . dream, but yesterday evening she found herself thinking, “Well, if they are going to get me something for my birthday, they need to do it soon.”

Cue me walking in with a large blue-green bouncy ball saying, “This just floated down the waterway and stopped at our yard. Maybe it’s a birthday gift from the water spirits . . .”

Okay, I Admit It. I Just Wanted To Do One More Socksy Joke

June 28, 2021

This morning L’s Mother and I accidently put on almost identical outfits (Which, now that I type that out, I realize that could be the lead in for much better jokes than the one I’m about to tell), except that she was wearing socks and I wasn’t (Hmmm . . . that too, come to think of it.). But this didn’t surprise me any.

She’s always been the socksy one around here.

Not That This Is News To Either Of Us At This Point

June 15, 2021

Having seen something that puzzled me while I was out this morning, I decided to consult with L’s Mother.

“Why do you suppose someone would tie a set of keys, including a car key and what I presume were house keys, to the pole of a stop sign?” I asked her.

“I don’t know,” she replied. “Maybe somebody found them and tied them up like that in the hopes that the person who dropped them would see them?”

“Yeah . . . that was the best I could come up with too,” I admitted. “I can even see the thinking, but . . .”

“It’s something I would do,” she said as I simultaneously said, “I can’t agree with it.”

Yes, Once Again It’s Flag Day

June 14, 2021

Today I’m going to be busy because today is a very special day to L’s Mother. Why, you ask?

Because about twenty years ago The Simpsons made a throwaway joke . . .

We’re All Mad Here

May 19, 2021

“But at the moment, I’m temporarily . . .” L’s Mother trailed off as she sought the right word.

“Going mad?” I ‘helpfully’ supplied.

“No,” said answered after brief consideration. “I’m pretty sure there’s nothing temporary about that.”

“That’s fair,” I conceded.

May That Be The ONLY Credit It EVER Gets From This House

May 18, 2021

Particularly after yesterday’s post, lest you think that L’s Mother can’t hold her own, right after I walked out the room she gave the most theatrical heartbreaking sniffle I have ever heard.

“That was really good!” I told her as I walked back into the room.

“I know, right?” she agreed. “Allergy season deserves a lot of the credit though.”

I Then Promptly Returned And Said, “But You Were Saying?”

May 17, 2021

“Now this won’t be of any interest to you whatsoever . . .” L’s Mother foolishly used as a lead-in with me early this morning.

So of course I interrupted her with, “You’re right,” and walked out of the room.

Maybe That WAS The Meditation . . . Seems Appropriate, At Least

May 4, 2021

Today’s marks the day I had my most “21st century” conversation to date:

Me: (Seeing that L’s Mother is wearing a VR helmet) What are you doing?

L’s Mother: I’m doing a quick VR meditation, but all I’m seeing is “Updating, please wait.”

So THAT’S Why They Kicked Me Out Of That Class!

April 28, 2021

It’s not a good idea to shove things down people’s throats just so you can practice the Heimlich Maneuver.

– L’s Mother