And Even As A Kid Who Had A Fear Of Snakes Back Then, I Realized That The Snake Wasn’t The Real Problem

When I was a kid I heard a joke about someone who was terrified at even the idea of coming across a snake in the wild.  When they were assured that all the snakes in the area were nonpoisonous and thus not dangerous, this person vehemently retorted, “They don’t have to be poisonous to terrify me into running off a cliff!”.

I’m Kidding, But I DID Amuse Myself For A Bit By Asking Where That Voice Was Coming From When She Tried Talking To Me Right After That

“Just handle the situation the way you would as if I weren’t around at all,” L’s mother told me the other day.

So I ignored it.

So I’m Getting Some Business Cards Printed Up

So yesterday somebody posted one of those “Find Your Offensive St. Patrick’s Day Name” name generators on my social media feed, and I had a few moments, so I checked and saw that my generated name was beyond anything I was prepared for even knowing the name was supposed to be “offensive.”

I mean, this was a name that could only appeal to a drunk and hor. . . monal teenager who was at the stage of intoxication that everything is funny (especially the stuff that isn’t) and the delusion has set in that whatever they say will come across as witty and charming, and there is simply no way I am going to ever post or even say that name in public!

Are You LITERALLY Tying To Kill With Kindness?

Let me just say that if you know someone quarantined because they have a compromised immune system (say from undergoing chemo), there’s no reason I can think of why a functioning adult should have to be reminded more than once that, no, they can’t come over for a visit.

I Hoped He At Least WORKED There!

“Please take any of these carts; they have all been personally wiped down by me,” the guy at the grocery store told me this morning.

Yuck! I thought.  That would explain the dampness . . .

This Isn’t Just A Joke Either

The other day I overheard someone talking about an unnamed politician who was “obviously incompetent and getting worse every day,” and I realized that didn’t narrow the field down enough for me to know who they were talking about.

Generally It’s When I Don’t, But There ARE Exceptions

Some days it’s a toss up on whether it upsets me more when I don’t understand people . . . or when I do.

This Made Me Smile, And I Haven’t Had A Lot Of Smiles To Share Lately, So Here You Go

I must stay and watch the brat,

‘Cause ma and pa just had a spat,

The ice man still brings ice, you see,

But our ice box runs with ‘tricity!

– Something I saw yesterday on a clip featuring a classic black-and-white cartoon (no link because some of the clips, while funny, take it a bit far even by my standards.)

 

And It’s Pollen Season, So We’ve Been Drinking A LOT Of Coffee Around Here

We’re still working on all those creamers I opened, by the way.

At Least That Had BETTER Be What They Meant

The other day it came up in conversation that I’m currently studying the Hawaiian language.  It’s nothing serious, just something I poke at here and there (Poké pun unintentional in this case), so I wasn’t prepared when someone boggled at me.

“You mean that you’re studying a new language at your age?!”  (I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt that what they meant was that most people study languages when they are in school or college, and I am admittedly above the average age for a college attendee.)

“Don’t be ridiculous!” I snorted.  “I started a year ago.”