This Sums Up My Feelings On The Matter

February 5, 2019

The apocalypse has been postponed indefinitely due to lack of interest.

Golly!

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That . . . Would Do It, Yeah

February 4, 2019

I correspond with a number of people around the world (it’s one of my favorite parts of the information age), and recently one of my correspondents was bemoaning an upcoming two-week family visit.

“It’s like spending two weeks in a prison!” they told me.

“I know that feeling,” I replied, “but surely it’s not that bad.  Where are you going again?”

Siberia,” they answered.  “In February!”

But In The Interest Of Fairness, After That I Then Filled The Duck For Him And Give Him A Free (And Successful) Shot

February 1, 2019

“Do you want to get wet?” today my son asked me with a grin.

Even though I was distracted, I very quickly said, “No!”  Noting his obvious disappointment (as well as noting the water squirting rubber duck in his hands), I promptly followed that up with, “It’s a good thing you asked, because I am not in a good mood to be squirted right now, and squirting me would have gone badly for you, but with that said . . .”

I paused to take off of my glasses.  “Now hit me!” I challenged him, then, remembering I was talking to a child, clarified, “I mean you can squirt me now.”

To my son’s great disappointment, nothing happened, so he told me to “stay put” while he ran back to the bathroom to try filling up the duck again.  Realizing the bathroom would be a better place for a water fight anyway, I followed.  Once again though, the duck failed to produce any water.

“It doesn’t work,” my son sighed.

Now it was my turn to grin as I took the duck from his hands and squirted water all over him.  “It works for me,” I said with a chuckle.

Which Is Also A Decent Time Considering The Circumstances

January 31, 2019

Yesterday I mentioned in passing that while traveling recently I missed my connecting flight.  While this wasn’t fun, I learned something interesting about myself.  I could have said, “Yeah . . . I’m not going to make that,” and, as it happens, it was actively impossible for me to have made it by the time I got off the plane because boarding had closed pretty much the moment my feet touched the ground.

But I didn’t realize that at the time.  (I was in such a rush I was thinking departure time, not boarding time, and I had fifteen minutes before departure.)

Even a small delay might give me the time I need, I thought, so off I sprinted . . . from Gate A24 to Gate D6 . . . in Atlanta.   I made it in ten minutes, which is a decent time.

And I felt recovered from that sprint about an hour later.

Because If You Tell Me That, You Need To Also Tell Me The Good Reason Why They Haven’t Left Yet

January 30, 2019

Since I’ve been traveling lately, I’ve gotten the chance to experience how airlines are trying to improve their relationship with their customers, and I want to say that I really do appreciate being kept in the loop on any flight delays.  With that said though, there is such a thing as telling me too much.

For instance, telling me there’s been a fifteen minute delay is appreciated and easily understandable.  Delays can happen for any number of reasons, and a fifteen minute one isn’t likely to be too much of a big deal (and this is coming from someone who missed his connecting flight because of said fifteen minute delay), so thank you for telling me.

But you probably shouldn’t have told me it was because the flight crew hadn’t left their hotel room yet.

So . . . Thanks For Not Letting Me Die

January 29, 2019

So, yeah, I’ve traveling a lot (for me) lately, placing me in airports and on planes right in the middle of a period of time where my safety on the ground and in the air was largely being monitored by essentially unpaid volunteers and conscripts.

And As I Recall, I Also Got It The First Time The First Flight I Could Remember Hit Turbulence

January 28, 2019

I don’t like talking about my travels until after I get back.  This just seems like good sense to me, but as I’ve admitted elsewhere, there are some things I’m just old-fashioned about.  Some of this I was more or less born with, and some, well . . . let’s just say I’ve acquired naturally over time.

For instance, I’m old enough to remember when you needed to keep your seatbelt fastened during a flight in case you hit turbulence, instead of “unexpected rough air.”

(Snark aside, that’s not a warning you want people to misunderstand, so I do get it!)

I’ve Known People Like This In Real Life

January 25, 2019

One of the best character writing examples/advice I’ve ever been given is “He is indeed the villain of the story and destined to be the heroes’ personal nemesis, but he doesn’t know that.  As evil and cruel as he is, at the moment he’s enjoying a drink by the fire, is feeling jovial and in want of company, so he’s going to call our heroes over and ask them to join him.  Since he is also polite and witty, everyone will have a marvelous time unless the heroes do something to change this.”

Because At That Temperature I’m Surprised It Wasn’t Just A Cup Of Steam!

January 24, 2019

Fortunately I knew to be cautious when I asked for a fresh cup of coffee to replace one that had been served to me tepid, and a good thing too!  My replacement coffee was not only hot enough to violate industry standards, but it came close to being hot enough to violate the laws of science.

It’s Been A While, But I Remember Doing This

January 23, 2019

Speaking of cold, have you ever gotten some sodas from out in the garage and realized on the way that you’re taking them inside to the refrigerator to warm up before you drink them?