Posts Tagged ‘Aging’

It Just Confused Them When I Was Ten

May 8, 2019

With my birthday approaching (and having reviewed my last few entries here), I am pleased (in a backhanded sort of way) that I’m finally getting old enough for people to expect me to be as crotchety as I am.

“What Do You Mean Antiques? They Were New When I Bought Them!”

December 13, 2016

When I was a kid I used to love playing with the deck of cards my grandfather kept up in a top cabinet.  The cards at my house were always new and stiff, but these cards were broken in, soft, and yellow from age.  In my young mind they were “grandfather” cards.

Last night my son asked to play a card game with me, so I brought down my deck of cards from the top closet, and I couldn’t help but notice how nicely the cards were broken in, soft and . . . yellow from age . . .

Well . . . at least I finally have the style of cards that I like, so it’s not all bad.

Tales From The Diner (Part Three)

November 23, 2016

Sadly, the gentleman failed one of my personal touchstones for if I would consider my living to that age “successful.”  When a young girl at another table said, “You look good for a hundred and one,” he just nodded and smiled in a way that made me doubt he really understood what she’d said.

For the record, the correct response to a statement like that is “No, I either look good . . . or I don’t.  Which is it?”  (At your option, The “No” can be replaced with an expletive, and rest assured that I will choose that option if you ever say something like that to me!)

“What’s A Cassette?”

January 12, 2016

In the wake of David Bowie‘s passing, someone whose identity I shall keep confidential was telling me how they had used “As The World Falls Down” as a meditative focus since “the cassette came out,” but if anybody wanted to know if that was a long time or not, they’d have to look up when the movie was released.

“No, they won’t,” I said.

She Was Talking About Buying Insurance. I Wasn’t.

December 24, 2014

“People our age are cheaper than people in their 20’s,” L’s mother announced the other day.

“Isn’t that just the way of the world?” I sighed.

This Is Now Destined To Become A Running Joke

September 25, 2014

Me:  How old are you?

L:  I’m two years old.

Me:  No, you’re not.  You’re three years old, almost four years old.

L:  But I run away from four years old and three years old.  Now I’m two years old!

Me:  Have you been talking to your Uncle Matt again?

Tale Told By Request

September 23, 2014

The other day I picked up a small bottle of wine at the grocery store, prompting the cashier to stare at me mock-inquisitively before playfully asking if I was really “old enough” to make such a purchase.

“Oh, please!” I snorted.  “The number of years added up that I’ve been asked that question are ‘old enough’ at this point.”

And The Older You Are, The More Likely You Are To Know HOW To Do It Safely

August 6, 2014

I don’t know why so many people worry about having “senior moments” as they get older.  While it’s certainly not the best idea in the world to get drunk before graduation, there are ways to do it safely.

A Classic Mistake Revisited

December 16, 2013

The other day I overheard someone listening to some music, and the music was low enough that I couldn’t quite place what they were listening to, but it sounded familiar.  Since I knew this person, I asked her what the song was, because something about it vaguely reminded me of Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy.

She “favored” me with one of those looks that she herself is probably a good five to ten years away from ever seeing directed her way by someone younger (but she will someday, oh yes, she will), and said, “It’s Christina Aguilera . . . obviously!”

“Obvious to you, maybe,” I chuckled.  “But to me, Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy, is the obvious one.”

(I didn’t have the heart to tell her that once she named the singer, I did happen to  recognize the song as Candyman, and that meant she was considering a pop song more than five years old as “obviously” recognizable.  In this day and age, she’s got a rude shock ahead of her, and it might not even take five years to reach her.)

Beyond A Ghost Of A Chance

November 4, 2013

Beyond a certain age, if you really want the chance see a ghost, all you have to do is sit in front of a mirror and wait.