Posts Tagged ‘Animals’

It Never Gets Less Weird

August 3, 2022

When I got a house, I never expected to have to clean up so many corpses. I mean, I’ve only had to do it five times or so, but it’s weird to me that I’ve had to do it even once.

I wish people would just respect the “No Trespassing” sign . . .

(I am absolutely kidding about this, but I do wish the ducks and iguanas and the like could pick a different property to die on.)

Wisdom Is Where You Find It

October 15, 2021

Dewey: That hound sure was hungry . . . especially for a ghost hound.

Uncle Scrooge: Aye, the druids must not feed it enough. That makes the beast mean.

Huey: That makes the druids mean if you ask me!

DuckTales (1987), “The Curse of Castle McDuck”

Just Call Me “The Giraffe Wrangler”

September 19, 2016

Zoo attendant:  “Sorry, folks.  The giraffes just don’t seem to be hungry today, but you’re welcome to give it a try anyway if you like.”

Zoo patrons there before us:  “Good luck.  They’ve been ignoring us since we got here.”

Me:  *takes some leaves and start waving them like I’m trying to guide a plane on runway until eventually a giraffe wanders over and starts eating the leaves*

Me:  “It’s all in the wrists.”

Also Known As The “Hitler Loved Dogs” Effect

May 16, 2014

As I recall, while the evidence does indeed support the idea that a person who is cruel to animals is extremely likely to be cruel to people as well, it’s my understanding this is usually explained as a demonstration of a general lack of empathy on said person’s part.

Unfortunately, however, it can not truthfully be said that just because someone is good to animals, they will, of necessity, likewise be good to people.