Posts Tagged ‘Authors’

Something YOU Should Have Seen Coming

November 8, 2019

Author:  Bet you didn’t see that coming!

Me (As An Audience Member):  Well . . . no, I didn’t, because it makes no sense and throws away all the world building you’ve spent so much time carefully crafting, and all for a cheap shock that feels like an insult to anyone who loved what you had created.

Author:  But you didn’t see it coming, now did you?  Hey!  Where are you going?

Me:  To do something else.

Now Where Was I?

July 25, 2014

As I was going to say before I got roped into a zoo trip with L. this morning, sometimes its easy for time to get away from us.  Nobody knows this better than a writer who’s been told “I’ll read your book as soon as ______.”  You quickly learn that continuing silence after that statement means that for one reason or another, your book is gathering dust somewhere.

Mr. Phillion, in light of the significant delay since I last mentioned your book,  I wish you to know that your book is indeed gathering dust somewhere . . . in a shipping box in transit to my address as I type this.

You don’t get off that easily, bucko.


April 30, 2014

So a good friend of mine, Matthew Phillion, recently completed the path to publication for his book, The Indestructibles, leaving me in something of a quandary. You see, I’m genuinely happy for him and want to congratulate him, but males in general, and writers in particular, have a reputation for being overcompetitive and better at insulting than complimenting one another. While that’s not entirely true, of course, I confess my first thought was to playfully rake him over the coals a bit as tradition requires. You know, something along the lines of “Since I am mentioned in the acknowledgements, I am contractually obligated to say something nice about your book here.”

But I decided all that would be inappropriate.

Congratulations, Matt. You fought hard for this day, and you’ve definitely earned your laurels for this one. I doubt I’ll have the chance to read the finished product before this weekend at the earliest, but read it I shall.




And then I’ll rake you over the coals.