So, So Proud

Today I don’t know what to write. I’m not feeling like being funny today, nor am I feeling morose enough that I feel I have to be funny. With that said, I’m going to tell a joke anyway because now I can do it without feeling disingenuous. It’s not a good joke, but it’s one I wanted to record here because it’s bad and I’m proud of it.

The other day L. and his Mother were talking about the word “wherewithal,” but off the top of their heads, neither could come up with a concise definition. When this was brought to my attention I said, “It’s like a regular withal except on a night with a full moon.”

Not My Joke, But Some Jokes Are So Bad You Just HAVE To Steal Them

Recently the winner of the 40th Annual Hemingway Look-Alike Contest In Key West was determined.

I’m told the resemblance was mind-blowing.

I Love It When A Joke Comes Together

The other day our dog wouldn’t stop barking because we’d gotten a delivery, so I told her, “Isa, stop barking at the delivery! I know it’s here, I’m getting it now, so you can stop telling me it’s here.”

When I opened the door, I saw the package was for L’s Mother from a place called “Katz,” and I didn’t even try to resist. I turned back to the dog (who was still barking), and told her, “Isa, stop barking at Katz!”

I Regret Nothing

The following is an excerpt from a play my son and I were having the other day:

The Narrator (a.k.a., my son):  You find yourself in one of “those” houses.

The Not-So-Brave Hero (a.k.a., me): (Thinking we must be thinking of different houses, but deciding to go with the joke anyway.)  Really?  But I don’t have any money!

The Narrator:  (Ignoring me)  You find yourself in the house of a grumpy cat.

The Not-So-Brave Hero:  A grumpy cat house, you say?  It’s grumpy because I don’t have any money, isn’t it?