It’s Just The Way I Am

Given my love of performance magic, my admiration for a clever con, and my scorn for politicians, the more someone explains to me how “reasonable” something is, the more suspicious I get.

I Know There’s A Sucker Born Every Minute, But This Is Just Abusing The Privilege

Radio Announcer:  *breathlessly*  Remember, if you start to burn fat TOO quickly while using our product, be sure to reduce the dosage!

Me:  And yes, it IS customary for you to include a gratuity with your payment, thank you for asking.  Your order, as well as your complimentary bridge, is ON ITS WAY!