Posts Tagged ‘Dogs’

Dear Isa

November 22, 2022

Little dog, I know there are times you can’t help but be under foot, and I know you don’t understand the harshness in my voice when I tell you to move sometimes, but let the record reflect that harshness is in my voice because I’m carrying something that if I dropped it on you, would kill you dead.

In the parlance of my youth, “roll a saving throw, you’re still dead!”

And The Fact That This Has Never Happened Doesn’t Seem To Deter Her

June 24, 2022

Sometimes I wonder why my dog is just staring at me.

I suspect she doesn’t want to miss it in case I spontaneously decide to give her an extra meal.

Discretion Is The Better Part Of Hunger Too, It Seems

April 25, 2022

In the midst of the chaos of the approaching end of the school year, I heard our dog, Isa, yipping her “Hey!” bark from the family room. Curious, I stuck my head in because she usually only yips like that when she wants someone to open a door for her.

It turns out L. had dropped two pieces of cereal on the couch out of her reach, and while Isa is capable of jumping up on the couch, the floor in front of it is slick enough for her that she doesn’t like to make the attempt after some embarrassing nose-bonking failures.

So she was asking for help like the unapologetic chowhound that she is.

It Really Is

January 19, 2022

“I’m not happy with you,” I told our dog, Isa, last night after she had been especially obnoxious while the rest of us ate dinner. (She eats after we do because if she eats before we do, she’s still incorrigibly obnoxious and is dramatically less inclined to behave because the treat I give her after our dinner if she does behave is less appealing.) “But I’m still going to feed you, of course,” I added as I left the dinner table to prep her food.

Halfway to her bowl I paused to glance over my shoulder at the rest of the family, and slyly said, “It’s amazing how often I’ve had that thought in my life, you know.”

Dog Logic

May 24, 2021

If the dog didn’t bark, you didn’t knock. Q.E.D.

I Love It When A Joke Comes Together

December 31, 2020

The other day our dog wouldn’t stop barking because we’d gotten a delivery, so I told her, “Isa, stop barking at the delivery! I know it’s here, I’m getting it now, so you can stop telling me it’s here.”

When I opened the door, I saw the package was for L’s Mother from a place called “Katz,” and I didn’t even try to resist. I turned back to the dog (who was still barking), and told her, “Isa, stop barking at Katz!”

So She Definitely Called It

November 12, 2020

“There’s a bear in our backyard,” L’s Mother announced yesterday, and despite my skepticism, she was right . . . in a sense.

The “bear” in question turned out to be a big friendly shaggy dog that happily followed me for some water and Milk-bones while I checked his collar for a phone number. One phone call later revealed that he had slipped out the door a couple houses down, and had been happily adventuring through the flooded streets until he ended up in our backyard.

He was quickly returned home and all was well again, but I’m still chuckling over it because the name on his collar was actually “Bear.”

Signs Things Are Getting “Sirius”

October 23, 2020

You know you’ve had a bad week when you start to suspect that you’re bumming out the dog . . .

Upon Hearing This, His Mother’s Response Was, “Yeah . . .”

June 11, 2020

On a much needed lighter note, today my son, L., and I were playing with our dog, Isa, and my son got some of her fur in his mouth, prompting us both to laugh.

“Oh, Isa,” I said to the dog because she was looking confused. “You’re always good for amusement even when sometimes you don’t mean to be.”

“Like my mom!” L. chimed in.

Okay, Maybe It’s Not So Much Of A Secret, Come To Think

May 19, 2020

“Do you know where Miss Eat-n-arf is?” my son asked earlier today, thus revealing to me the secret identity of Social Distancing Dog.