I’ll Do That, Son

Yesterday I took an extra moment to properly time my necessary walking between my son and the television screen while my son was playing a game.

“Why do you try to be so careful about not blocking my view?” he asked me.

Chuckling, I answered, “Well . . . it’s because it used to seem like my mom was always blocking my view when I was really interested in something, and I remember how much I hated that, so whenever I can, I try not to do that to you.”

“Oh,” my son replied, then after a  thoughtful pause he asked, “Is Grandmama still coming to visit this week?”

“Yes,” I told him.

“Can you please remind her that it’s rude to block people’s views?”

That Still Counts, I Guess

“You are a goddess among mortals,” I told Lala yesterday as she handed me a much needed cup of cheer.

Preening, she responded with, “I’ve always known that, but it’s nice to have it acknowledged.”

I looked at her askance.  “A goddess of arrogance, it seems,” I sighed.

So I Definitely Need Another Term . . . AND A Vacation

You know how some people like to say that they need a vacation from their vacation?  Right now I feel almost exactly the same way, except that I object to calling it a “vacation.”

I’m not complaining, I’m really not.  If given the chance to do it all over, I do everything pretty much exactly the same, but so my family could have a mini-vacation, I ended up being on duty for essentially 96 hours straight.  (This time our stay was three nights, and I took point on my son all three nights because he asked me to do it.)

And That’s When I Knew Exactly How Bad She Was Feeling

“Are you gracing us with your presence today?” I asked L’s Mother this morning since it was well past the time that she normally leaves for work.

When she just sort of stared at me instead of answering, I began to suspect that my question was phrased incorrectly, so I tried again with “Will you be present today?”

This time she sort of half-chuckled and half-sighed before answering “I’m not leaving the house today if that’s what you mean.”

I Got It After The Fact, But I STILL Got It

Let the record show that I, of course, got Mom’s permission to tell yesterday’s story.

My Son Thought This Story Was Hilarious

Today in my son’s class they were talking about the “sh” sound in words in honor of George WaSHington, and if your first thought of an “sh” word was a less polite example, well . . . as much as I’d like to harass you about that, I don’t really have the right since that’s usually how my mind works too.

But in this particular case, my first thought was “warsh,” as in “It’s time to warsh the dishes.”

You see when I was about my son’s age, I was adamant that “wash” was spelled with an “r,” and nothing my teachers said would budge me on this.  As I recall the way it was told to me, eventually they called my mother and asked her where I might have gotten this idea from.

Suffice it to say that from that day forward Mom always made a special point to say that she was going wash things around the house even though prior to that she had “warshed” things her entire life.

Not All That Different Really

Upon hearing the news that a younger family member was engaged you . . .

Before the age of social media 

. . . thought to yourself, “he’s not good enough for her.”

After the age of social media

. . . check out his Facebook page then think to yourself, “he’s not good enough for her.”

(I’m kidding, kiddo . . . mostly.  He seems nice, but there’s a reason I keep my overprotective streak in check.  At times like this you could show me a guy who walks on water, and my first thought would be to wonder if he thought he was too good to get his feet wet or something.

All jokes aside though, congrats.)

Things Overheard Only In My House

At this rate my son will be able to infect people with lycanthropy before *I* can!

– L’s Mother (Note: This was not an out of context statement!)

Well *I* Thought It Was Funny

L’s Mother:  (Two days after an unfortunate popcorn spill.) I found another popcorn kernel!

Me:  Just pick it up, corporal!

The Exact Time This Morning Was “Too Early”

Overheard this morning:

“Watch your kid knee around my kidney!”