She Was Still Being Facetious Though

So yesterday I picked up some new to me ice cream sandwiches because they were on sale (thereby proving my genetic link to my parents, but I digress), and was sampling one of them with my son. We agreed the ice cream was excellent, and even though the cookie wafer was a little too firm for our liking, we had to admit this might be one of the finest ice cream sandwiches we had ever had.

We said this out loud . . . in front my son’s mother . . . a woman who loves ice cream sandwiches, but has had to cut dairy out of her diet.

Her response?

A very quiet (and I’m quoting her literally here), “Neither of you have parents who are married to each other.”

My son initially thought she was facetiously threatening me with divorce, but after I moment I got what name she was really calling us.

I’m Going To Go Watch A Movie

I wasn’t sure what I was going to write about today, but then my son asked me if I wanted to watch the newest Octonauts movie with him, and I don’t get asked to watch movies with him much these days, so . . .

I Asked Him To Hold The Ladder For Me While I Cleaned The Gutters

Let the record show that yesterday I willingly placed my life in the hands of my son, and that he comported himself in a honorable manner and justified my faith in him.

My Response: Breathing Is Overrated

I’ve stated before the reasons behind my reluctance to talk about the weather these days, so I winced when yesterday I heard L’s Mother telling one of her sisters how warm it is here. To L’s Mother’s credit, she did add that at the moment the pollen is so thick that it’s practically impossible to breathe right now.

Her sister’s retort was simply, “We got 25 inches of snow this year.”

Does This Sort Of Thing Happen To Anyone Else?

Me: *Getting ready to make a snack for L.* Do you know where the jelly is? It’s not where it should be.

L’s Mother: I put it back to where we used to keep it. (I.e, where we used to keep it eight months ago!)

It’s Okay If You Don’t Get It, She Did

“Can you remind me again when you’re planning on taking the Christmas decorations off the holiday tree?” I asked L’s Mother the other day.

“After Candlemas,” she replied.

I just looked at her and sighed, “Now I’m gonna need more rope.”

It’d Been A Different Story If I’d Been Thirteen! (I Still Miss You, Buddy.)

I’m not exactly sure why, but I found myself thinking about my cousin Jimmy this morning. He passed some years before the birth of my son, but I still remember Jimmy as being my fun (if occasionally jerky) older cousin, and wanted to honor him appropriately.

Hey, Jimmy! Remember when you were so proud of yourself when you beat me at Clue? I just want to say that the reason you beat me is the same reason that I didn’t steal your college-bound girlfriend away from you . . . because I was twelve!

To Be Fair, He DID Say The Gift Was “Time And Togetherness”

To honor parents everywhere this Christmas, I wanted to share the story of a father (not me) whose son (also not me) wanted to give him the gift of time and togetherness, so the son made his father a coupon good for one lunch with him . . . that the father was expected to pay for.

I’ll Talk To You Later

Originally I was going to write something longer (and honestly, not that festive), but L’s mother is waiting for me to wrap this up, and I think my holiday is better spent with her than here.

Happy Holidays!

Mom And Computers Don’t Get Along

Because L. has said that it just doesn’t feel like a festive Christmas with no Christmas guests, we’re going to try getting my mother online so she can be with us virtually while we decorate the tree.

Pray for us.