Like “Somebody Literally Just Stepped On My Toe, Okay?”

If you’re asking me to record how I’m feeling, I need more nuanced options than just happy, sad, stressed, excited, etc.

My Feelings Today

It’s taken me a long time to find the way I want to phrase this because I don’t want anyone to think I’m suggesting “conceal, don’t feel,” but there’s a difference between being open about your feelings and taking those feelings out on others.

So That’s A “No” To Your Request

Recently I’ve been getting a lot of “post your senior pictures” requests on social media.  I dislike revealing weakness or sociopathy in public, but it seems I’m going to have to address this, so let’s see . . . how should I put it?

I detest all pictures of me, no exceptions, but there is a spectrum involved.  The positive end of that spectrum starts with, “I can tolerate this picture’s existence if I must,” and it ends with me foaming at the mouth, champing at the bit for the day my promise to my mother is no longer binding and I can turn those abominations into the smoke and ash I’ve dreamt of them being for years, and ideally I can use the burning hatred of a thousand thousand stars to start the flame.

And this is me understating my feelings on the matter.