Posts Tagged ‘Food’

Reason Number 432 Why I Am Not A Great Chef

July 4, 2019

Great chefs never announce that they are using some olive oil by using the words, “Oh, Popeye!

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Sometimes Virtue Really Is Its Own Reward

July 1, 2019

Me:  (thinking)  That looks like some kind of delicious cinnamon cereal!  (out loud while resisting the urge to steal a piece from the bowl while Lala isn’t looking)  “What is that?”

Lala:  “Pork rinds.”

Me:  (blanching)  “I’m really glad I didn’t steal some then!”

Maybe She Has A Point After All

June 14, 2019

Paraphrased from a text conversation between me and Lala:

Me:  “Just dropped L’s Mother off  for her appointment.  Now to make the decision on how to spend my time for a bit.”

Lala:  “You’ll find some place awesome.  You have that knack.”

 Me:  (thinking) I don’t know if that’s really accurate.

Me: (Also thinking, but now after I’ve finished eating)  That deep fried raspberry cheesecake with vanilla ice cream, whipped cream, and caramel drizzle really was pretty good.

Guess Which Two Things Have Started To Be Cooked Around Here More Lately, And You’ll Have The Answer

June 11, 2019

It’s actually impressive to me that cooking cauliflower can almost rival cooking fish in its ability to permeate the house with its odor.

Guess how I know this.

I Was Still Fine, Just A Little . . . Less Fine After That

March 22, 2019

You know how television and movies like to show how desensitized someone has become by having them eat a sandwich during an autopsy or the like?

Today while I was finishing up breakfast I noticed I needed to clean up after our dog, Isa.  Since I was pressed for time, I grabbed something to protect my hand and transported the dog food byproduct to the toilet.  It was only as I was flushing that I became fully aware that I had been chewing the last bite of my breakfast the entire time.

I was fine until I remembered I’d been eating a chocolate muffin.

“Yes, That Was Exactly It”

March 20, 2019

“Who bought the ‘Would-Kill-Me-If-I-Ate-It pie?'” L’s Mother asked me yesterday.

“Lala,” I answered.  “She knew I was feeling down and thought it might help.”

L’s Mother considered that for a moment.  “And she blamed me for your mood, is that it?” she asked with a smirk.

That’s Just Not Something I Worry About

March 19, 2019

The other day while eating a dish that included soybeans as an ingredient, L’s Mother took pains to assure me that I didn’t include enough soybeans in my diet to have to worry about Phytoestrogens.

To say the least, I found this an odd choice for dinner conversation, but not wanting to be rude, I assured her that I was far more like to worry about the “Fido estrogen” in our dog, Isa, than I was to worry about something like that.

I May Never Be Comfortable With That

December 26, 2018

Logically I know that Lala loves pizza crusts almost as much as I despise them, so I’m more than happy to hand them over to her after I finish off a slice of pizza, but every time it still feels like I’m saying, “Good news, girl!  There is food leftover, so today you may eat!”

Of Course That Meant It Was Three-Quarters For Me

June 15, 2018

The following is a paraphrase of the events of last night:

Lala:  “These cookies have too many calories for me to have one.”

Me:  “I can make them half the calories, if you like.”  *breaks a cookie in half*

Lala:  *Eyes me with exasperation, then takes half the cookie.  After eating half of that, she hands the rest back to me*

Me:  “One-quarter the calories.  Even better!”

It Was The First Time I Ever Had Sauerkraut On A Hotdog, And It Was FANTASTIC!

March 26, 2018

Memory can be a funny thing.

You can know have many years have passed.  You can even know that the destination is the “same” only on a technicality since in the intervening time they have moved to a new building in a new location, and you can still find yourself looking for the same hotdog cart that used to be outside the old building all those years ago . . .