Posts Tagged ‘Food’

That’s . . . A Good Question, Actually

January 5, 2018

In honor of this week’s unexpected food theme, here’s another food related entry:

A friend of mine was playing around with a new touchscreen order board at a popular American fast food establishment near him when he discovered something . . . odd.

The price of a sausage biscuit was $1.

The price of a regular biscuit though was $1.39, leaving him to wonder if the sausage was somehow subsidizing the biscuit?


Just Ask My Stomach

January 4, 2018

I think one could be forgiven for thinking it unlikely that one could poison oneself from a snack attempt consisting of only two ingredients (unless one or both of those ingredients happened to actually be poison, of course),  but one should also keep in mind that “unlikely” is not the same thing as “impossible.”

So Don’t Blame My Stock

July 6, 2016

Say what you will about me, I don’t come from pretentious stock, at least.

When Mom was telling me about her 4th of July activities, she told me that she had “dined with royals,” which she then clarified meant that she’d had a chili cheese dog from Burger King, and a Blizzard from Dairy Queen . . .

That! That Right THERE Is The Essence Of My Parenting Experience Right Now!

April 30, 2015

Today my four-year-old son asked for a pancake for breakfast, so I reluctantly prepped him one.  I did so “reluctantly” because I know he prefers the strawberry ones (we keep some premade pancakes around for breakfast emergencies), but all I saw were chocolate.  Predictably, he took one bite and started complaining (vehemently and at great length) that they weren’t strawberry.  I told him that was the only kind we had, and that if we had any strawberry ones, I would have made him a strawberry one, and then to end the argument, I doubled checked once again that we were indeed out of the strawberry ones.

Then I found some.

“Huh,” I said.  “Sorry about that, slugger.  I don’t know how I missed them, but we do have some strawberry pancakes left after all.  Would you like me to make you one?”

“After I finish my chocolate one,” he said as he shoved a big bite in his mouth.

I Know, I Know, It Was A “Square Meal,” But Still!

April 22, 2015

With the members of this household at various stages of unwell, a lot of packaged soup has been eaten over the past few days, and today was no exception.  Most of this soup has been pretty good all things considered, but after pouring the contents of a package into a bowl today, I was struck with a thought as inescapable as it was odd:

Soup in a bowl should NOT have corners!

Then He Ate Them All Without Complaint. I Think He’s Gaslighting Me. . .

April 10, 2015

And today’s entry for “things you find yourself saying as a parent” is:

“Your french fries and ketchup are ready.  Come on and sit at the table so you can tell me what’s wrong with them this time.”

And Calling It An “Action Lentil” Doesn’t Change Anything

January 14, 2015

(Another odd mood, another easy joke, also food related.  Maybe I need to eat more.)

I try not to judge over inconsequential things, but I have to draw the line somewhere, son.  I know you’re going through a picky eating phase, and that you play with your food more than eat it right now, but your mother worked really hard on preparing you a nice Indian inspired meal last night, and no son of mine is going to play with his dal at the dinner table.

Cold Comfort

June 10, 2014

Speaking of food . . .

Over the weekend L’s Mother tried to make him some oatmeal, and somehow did it “wrong” (by the standards of a three-year-old, I mean), so she generously agreed to make him some more. As she was making his oatmeal again, she looked down at him and said, “Daddy makes the best oatmeal, doesn’t he?”

I wasn’t there for this, but I like to think he placed his little hand on hers before saying what I was told he said next:

“Mommy makes the best cereal,” he cheerily replied. (Which, for the record, is a procedure which entails taking dry cereal from a package and placing it on a plate for him.)

Me Too

May 6, 2014

I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o clock in the morning.

John Barrymore

Ask A Silly Question

April 26, 2013

While foraging for a quick snack today (and loving most things sour), I announced, “I think I’ll have some sauerkraut.”

Wrinkling her nose up in disgust (and sounding more than a little horrified), Lala asked, “And what are you going to eat it with?”

“A fork,” I answered matter-of-factly.