Posts Tagged ‘Friendship’

I Expressed Said Opinion Using A Two Word Vernacular

December 4, 2020

A friend of mine with “mild” sleep apnea recently shared with me that “mild” in his case is defined as six sleep disrupting episodes per hour. When he told me this (via email), my brain first processed this as six episodes per night, and I thought that sounded a little excessive for “mild.”

Then I read it correctly, and expressed my opinion that it didn’t sound very “mild” to me.

A Bit Like The People, Come To Think

July 31, 2019

I wasn’t just making a throwaway joke yesterday about my internal monologue having no filters, by the way.  Read whatever you like into this, but the fact of the matter is my internal monologue long ago stabilized into the language patterns that I used among friends in college.  Those patterns rarely see the light of day anymore unless I’m talking to someone I knew from those days, but they’ve always stayed with me.

Oh, Riiiight! Happy Birthday Then!

June 12, 2019

Why am I wishing this person a happy birthday via social media again?  I asked myself this morning.  We haven’t talked in years, I can’t remember the last time they even acknowledged when I sent them any well wishes, and odds are good they’re not checking their own page anymore anyway, so . . . why?

Because it’s their birthday, the answer came back, and if they do check their page you want them to know you were thinking of them even if they don’t acknowledge you, remember?

This Struck Me As Especially Funny Because I Would Feel EXACTLY The Same Way

November 5, 2018

Some time back I posted something about how I could never say “I love you” to all my friends, and I’m finally getting the chance to do my follow-up to that.  After that post, you see, one of my long-time friends (who I happen to like a lot) chimed in with the opinion that if I ever told them that I loved them, they would be “completely terrified” in a “We’re all going to die in five minutes, aren’t we?” sort of way.

That Just Wouldn’t Work

October 26, 2018

Yesterday it came up in conversation that someone Lala knows makes it a habit to say “I love you,” to all her friends.

“I couldn’t do that,” I admitted.

“Why not?” Lala asked.

“Put simply,” I replied, “because by my definition of love, I don’t love all my friends.  Some I do, but some I just like, and I’m there for all of them whenever I can be because that’s what friendship is to me, but love them all I do not.”

Lala seemed kind of saddened by this, and it’s not like I consider it ideal myself, but that’s the honest truth of the matter.  I would like it someday if I could be the type of person who genuinely loves everyone, but I’m never going to get to be that person by lying about it.

An Open Letter To Pretty Much Everyone I’ve Ever Known In My Life

August 20, 2018

Look . . . we need to talk.  Maybe we’ve talked recently, or maybe it’s been years, but there’s something I need to say.  If we spent any significant time together at all, it’s something I would have tried to say before at least once, but I may not have said it well,  so I’m going to try again.

If I ever told you that you were smart, it’s because you are smart.  The same applies if I ever told you that you were pretty/handsome, talented, funny, or any other positive trait I might have commented on.  I get that everyone has moments of self-doubt sometimes, but it bothers me if you start to wallow in them.  When you doubt yourself like that it bothers me a larger scale because I can clearly see that your doubts aren’t based in fact, and it bothers me on a more personal level because (and I say this somewhat tongue-in-cheek, of course) it feels like you’re calling me a liar.

Stop calling me a liar, damn it!

Today’s Definition Of Friendship

December 9, 2016

Some times the funniest stories of my week involve friends and/or family, but some times those stories don’t paint them in the best of lights, so unless they think it’s funny too and give me express permission to tell the story, I don’t tell the story no matter how funny it is.

Another Thing I’m Not Going To Top Today

October 12, 2016

The following is a paraphrased conversation from this morning:

He:  Did I not mention that the quadruple bypass happens today?

Me:  Seeing as you didn’t mention to me that there was going to be a quadruple bypass at all, I’m going to have to say no.

(Good luck.)

That’s Good To Know

April 4, 2016

Last Friday I mentioned Lala’s (questionable) assertion that I’m Batman.

Naturally, not long after that a friend of mine named “Robbin” asked me if that made her my sidekick.

“Only if you wear the costume,” I replied with a wink, thinking (incorrectly) that would be the last word on the subject.

I was then informed that, “If you are Bruce Wayne rich and will cover my living expenses, THAT CAN BE ARRANGED!”

Because Just Friends Respect Your Feelings And Don’t Try To Use Them To Their Advantage

May 18, 2015

Sooner or later, son, you’re going to have to deal with a “just friends” situation.  Maybe you’ll be the one starting to say it, or maybe someone will say it to you, but either way it’s unlikely you’ll never have to face those words, and I have some advice for both eventualities.

My advice to you if you realize you are starting to say something like “just friends” is STOP!  I mean it, just stop and say what you actually mean instead.  The phrase “just friends” comes with a slew of baggage for most people, and you’re better off avoiding those words if you can.  If you mean, for instance, “just coffee” or “just dinner” then say thatIf you have to clarify further beyond that, then by all means do so, kindly if you can, but always clearly and, if necessary, firmly.  If you want to preserve an actual friendship out of this situation, bluntly, the odds don’t favor it, but the slightest ambiguity, however unintentional, moves those odds from unfavorable to next to nil.

For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.

Of course, nobody is ever likely to be that clear with you in return, so you’ll have to learn to interpret that typically “just friends” translates to “no sex,” and while that may not be welcome news, it’s important to accept it graciously.  Easier said than done, I know, but that doesn’t make it any less important.  If someone wants to be “just friends,” that can be not just a good thing, but a great thing, and if you think about it, you’ll realize that you have lots of friends that you don’t have sex with (That’s true for me, at least), so while it’s understandable to feel the sting of disappointment when you hear those words, it’s not really that big a deal.  It’s good to have people in your life who are “just friends.”

Just watch out for the ones who use that phrase so they can be UNjust friends.