Posts Tagged ‘Funny . . . Or Not’

This Is Closer To The Truth Of Today’s Actual Internal Monologue Than I’m Comfortable With

March 3, 2022

Me: I have nothing to write about today.

Also Me: Aren’t you the one always going on about “writing whatever’s on your mind?”

Me: Yeah, but I put the oven on self-cleaning mode, and all I’m thinking about is how strong the smell of smoke is right now.

Also Me: So write about that . . . just make a joke about the smoke.

Me: But there’s nothing funny about this.

Also Me: Yeah, I guess you’re right, and you wouldn’t want your audience to think that you were blowing smoke up their-

Me: Hey!

Fun Stuff (Part Four)

May 24, 2019

This last one I feel a little bad about (but only a little).

The first time L’s Mother and I went to Disney World, we ate at a particular place that we’d always said we wanted to go back to someday.  So . . . someday finally came around on this last trip, and after our food had arrived, the server (knowing we hadn’t eaten there in years, and had made a special trip to do so this time) asked how everything was.

“Well,” I sighed, “I’m going to have to be ‘that guy,’ I’m afraid, because, honestly, the food isn’t as good as I remember.”

The server looked absolutely crushed at this (which is why I feel a little bad), so I followed up with my planned joke as quickly as possible.

“It’s better,” I chuckled.

(For the record, I was forgiven by the server for this.)

I Woke Up Thinking This Today. I REALLY Hope I Read It Somewhere

March 27, 2019

How do church towers in Ireland lose weight?

They go on a “bell fast.”

I Never Forget These Things

July 19, 2016

Last night Lala tried port wine for the first time and announced, “I wasn’t so sure about this port, but I’d heard that starboard was good, so I wanted to try it.”

Now I like a good pun as much as the next guy, but I thought this was a bit much coming from the person who didn’t like my molasses pun.