And I Also Consider Myself A Nonstandard Kind Of Person

Despite my son informing me that “‘Ain’t’ ain’t good English,” I still feel my use of the word “ain’t” the other day was appropriate in context.  Granted, the word is considered “nonstandard” these days, but I was in a nonstandard mood.

Ways To Tell That I Am Beyond Tired And Done With Something

DJ:  *Enthusiastically*  Now we’re all going to jump in the air and clap our hands!

Me:  *Deadpan*  No . . . we ain’t.

Because To Me They Are CLEARLY “Less Invisible” Than They Were A Moment Before, Now Aren’t They?

An ever increasing number of years ago I failed a question on an English test by asserting that “less invisible” was proper grammar.  I was told since something was either invisible or it wasn’t, there was simply no way for it to be less so, end of discussion.

So I didn’t discuss it . . . with the instructor.  I know a losing battle when I see one.

But to this day whenever I see someone or something invisible in movies or on TV have their position revealed by their footprints, or by steam, or by something being splattered on them, or however it happens . . . I always chuckle.

My New Favorite Editorial Note

As anyone who knows me already knows, I am far from averse to using “strong” language in person or in my writing when I feel the situation warrants it to add humor, emotional emphasis and/or fair warning that would be impossible to add another way.  I never swear just for the sake of swearing though; I find that lazy, and after a while excessive use of any word becomes smurfing annoying to me.  When I do something, even swearing, I like to do it right and to maximum effect.

Which is precisely why an editorial note I recently received regarding a page from my current story amused the hell(1) out of me:  “Hyphenate POS.”(2)

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(1) Let the record show that I didn’t even consider resisting this one.

(2) If you can’t guess the full phrase I used, you’re not old enough to know it.