So That’s How I Ended Up Accidently Pranking My Son This Morning

This morning as I walked into the bathroom I noticed what looked at first glance to be a bug in the bathtub. However a second glance convinced me that it was probably just a small bath toy that had taken a tumble. It being early in the morning, I honestly didn’t care either way, but I made a mental note to deal with it, whatever it was, after I had woken up.

Cue my son intercepting me as I walked out of the bathroom to inform me, “There’s a bug in the tub.”

“Aha!” I thought. “He’s trying to prank me.” And sure enough, closer inspection proved that it was indeed a bath toy and not a bug.

Feeling proud of myself for seeing through his ruse, I scooped up the toy in my hand, walked into my son’s room, and proclaimed, “Here’s your ‘bug!'” while presenting it for his inspection.

Have I mentioned he doesn’t like bugs? Well . . . he doesn’t.

And he wasn’t trying to prank me either.

I Have To Admit That Sounds Pretty Weird To Me

How weird would be if you made something, and it periodically disassembled itself and give a piece of itself back to you to show how grateful it was?

– L, age 10, in response to learning that some religions used to believe that you had to shed human blood to repay the gods for creating humanity

Just To Clarify

Before I got interrupted yesterday, I was planning to say that, for the record, while I consider ten way too young for that kind of language, I’m not foolish enough to believe my son doesn’t know it.

When Gaming And Birthdays Collide

She’s [age redacted]? It’s time for her to start gearing up!

– L., age 10, making a joke upon hearing his grandmother’s age

That Was Fair (And Funny)

I think it’s time for you to shut the “L” up now on that joke.

– My son, L, after me telling one too many “L” jokes the other day

I Did, And I Think He’s Growing Up Fast

Yesterday while I was replacing the batteries in one of my son’s toys, he grinned at me and with a knowing chuckle asked, “Hey, Dad. Remember when I said those looked like Double A holes to me, and do you remember the Ash hat Pikachu?”

Good Job, Son

I do want to say that I was mostly kidding about not knowing what to write about yesterday. Sure it’s true that I generally write about what I’m thinking most about at that moment, but there have been plenty of times that for one reason or another I’ve decided to write about something else.

Today, for instance, what I’m thinking about most is the sad state of the world, but what I’m going to write about is how my son is handling said state of the world with a grace that far exceeds my own.

I Couldn’t Have Said It Better Myself, Son

If you want to have a civil conversation, avoid certain topics unless you want to have a civil war.

– L.

But It Made Me Smile

After one too many cases of mistaken identity happening in this house, particularly around the kitchen, I composed a little song to help my son remember to see who he’s talking to before launching into a story meant for one particular person:

Not everyone in the kitchen is your Mom.
Not everyone in the kitchen is your Mom.
It might be your Dad, or if she’s being bad,
It might be your dog and not your Mom.

He was most decidedly not impressed.

He Has A Point

This year we need to plan less, and do more.

My son, L., age 10