“Now Bother Me No More For This Day”

Some years back (as social media helpfully reminded me today) I took a picture of my then toddler son looking suddenly exhausted right after he had managed to smear green cupcake frosting all over the lower half of his face. (I knew the cupcake was too big for him, but I dramatically underestimated the amount of mess he would make.)

But it was the caption I added to said picture that made me chuckle, because it’s a phrase I’ve revisited from time to time over the years since:

“Life . . . she is the mystery understood only by the clown of ennui.”

I Think I Was His Age The Last Time I Even LOOKED At A Checkers Set

“Hey, Dad, will you play checkers with me?” my son asked me this morning.

“Give me just a few minutes,” I replied. “First I need to tell your mom something, feed the dog, and . . . learn how to play checkers.”

No Cookie Could EVER Be Worth My Reaction!

“Mom said I could have some cookies; can you get them for me?” my son asked me today.

Now I know some parents might have doubted the veracity of this, but I didn’t, not even for a second, because I know that if my son ever does lie to me (and I’m not encouraging this son!), it’s not going to be over a couple of cookies.

It’s The Circle Of Life

The other day L’s Mother referenced “generic hotdogs,” and that naturally prompted me to start singing, “Hot dogs, generic hot dogs! What kind of kids eat generic hot dogs? Fat kids, skinny kids, kids who climb on rocks . . .“

“Now if you could only tell me what’s actually in generic hotdogs,” L’s Mother retorted with a smirk.

“I just did,” I replied. “Fat kids, skinny kids, kids who climb on rocks . . .”

He’s Learning!

“Don’t come this way!” my son exclaimed as I walked into the room today. Before I could make a joke like I had last time though, he quickly added, “I wasn’t talking to you!”

At Least There’s A Common Link

When you’re a kid and you’re sick and you finally get out of bed, your parent says, “How are you feeling? Do you feel well enough to eat? Are you hungry?”

When you’re a parent and you’re sick and you finally get out of bed, your kid says, “Can you make me food?”

Or The Second, Or The Third . . .

“I give up!” my son proclaimed (loudly) while playing a game this morning.

“Forever?” I asked.

“No, just for now,” he answered.

“Good,” I chuckled, “because if I gave up ‘forever’ the first time your mother frustrated me, you wouldn’t be here.”

Yet Another Tip You Won’t Read In A Book About Parenting

Nothing brings a parent and child closer faster than embarking on a mutual conspiracy against the other parent.

And I Still Smell Faintly Of Our Fuel To Prove It

By popular demand, we had another series of launches (some successful, some not) of our vinegar and baking soda powered rocket in honor of the scheduled launch of the James Webb Space Telescope tomorrow.

May This Be A Favorable Omen For Things To Come

Today in honor of winter break and the upcoming launch of the James Webb Space Telescope, we did a little launch of our own using a vinegar and baking soda powered rocket. Conditions were favorable, and the rocket was kind enough to give me just enough time to remove my hand before launching. (Thereby demonstrating the importance of our pre-launch safety preparations in the process.)