Posts Tagged ‘Lies’

That’s Unfair Though. I Remember Those “Rules” Too

May 24, 2018

A friend of mine used to bemoan the loss of the “playground rules” he grew up with, most notably the rule that if you were fairly caught cheating or lying, you owned up to it and didn’t waste everybody’s time with flimsy denials.

The older I get, the more I suspect those rules might have been unique to his playground alone.

Sometimes The Truth Is Just Disappointing

May 4, 2015

It’s been an unusually quiet day around here today (I’m writing this early Sunday evening to free up my schedule for tomorrow), and I find myself feeling pensive over how often we tend to lie, particularly when we’re younger, and even more particularly about sex.  Everybody seems to have a “first time” story, and if there’s one common thread, especially among males in this culture, it’s that it was always “Great!” . . . provided, of course, that the audience is large enough to require such a sentiment.

Not to imply that many people’s first times aren’t, in fact, great, but over the years I started to notice just how differently the story could be told if the telling was private enough.  For the record, my own first time was significantly less than great.  She was more “experienced” than I was, but those experiences hadn’t been very positive ones, so we both ended up muddling through things more out of some mutual sense of obligation than any actual desire.  Yes, things got better with practice . . . a lot better, but that first time?

Meh.

Lies (Part Three)

November 15, 2013

Why his father did this, I don’t know, but he did, and Tim lived his entire life with the effect of his father’s lies.  When I met Tim for the first and last time, six months of chemotherapy had taken its toll on his body, he was far from in his peak shape anymore, and he felt worse about his body than ever.  He no longer was built like a professional wrestler, you see, and was “only” built like Kevin Sorbo back in his Hercules days.

Let me say that again.

After six months of chemo, Tim was still built like a man who made his living portraying a Greek demigod, but even when Tim was in his prime he felt small and weak.  It didn’t matter how obviously ridiculous the lie that Tim was weak was to everyone else, it was everything to Tim, because he believed it with all his heart.

He died believing that.  That is how nasty a lie can be.

There’s no good way to end a story like this, so I’m not even going to try.

Because that’s the truth.

Lies (Part Two)

November 14, 2013

By way of example, let me tell you about the greatest guy I only ever got to meet once, Tim.  (That’s his real name, by the way, no pseudonyms for this story.  I only use those for the living.)

(Yep . . . you got it in one.  He’s dead.)

Tim was a guy who could have decided to hate my guts, and arguably make a case for doing so.  I married the one true love of his life, you see, but he knew he was wrong for her, so rather than hating me for “taking” her from him, he thanked me instead.

He was that kind of guy.  I wish he wasn’t right about being wrong for her, but he was, but more than that, I wish he was right about why he was wrong for her . . . but he wasn’t right about that.

Put simply, Tim believed he was a horrible person.  He wasn’t . . . he was one of the greatest, most genuinely human men it has ever been my honor to know, however briefly, but Tim never believed that because Tim had been lied to his entire life.  His entire life he had been told that he was stupid, worthless, and weak . . . and Tim believed those lies.

To be fair, it can be hard not to believe something your father tells you over and over again even before you can understand his words.

Lies (Part One)

November 13, 2013

Okay, now where was I?

Oh, yes.  Lies.

Now lies can be pretty nasty no matter their exact breed, but the lies which bother me the most are the ones being spread by someone who honestly believes them to be true, “full-grown” lies, if you will.  When a lie is “born,” it’s generally birthed by someone who knows they are lying, so the lie’s not all that powerful yet.  As soon as someone believe it though . . .

That’s when things start to get ugly.

Well . . . uglier.

(And in the spirit of honesty, I had hoped to have more time to elaborate on this today, but that’s not the way it turned out, so I’ll have to continue this tomorrow.)

It’s That Kind Of Day

November 11, 2013

A lie doesn’t become truly dangerous until it is believed.

– Possibly me, possibly unknown.  (I’m pretty sure I read this somewhere once, but I can’t locate the source.  As tired as I am today, for all I know I read it in some of my old notes.)

(And yes, tomorrow I’ll elaborate on what brought this thought to mind.)

The Hard Truth

January 14, 2013

The most insidious lie isn’t the lie that mixes in enough truth to make the lie believable, nor is it the lie that sounds like it’s true; the most insidious lie is the lie that you want to believe.