Posts Tagged ‘Life’

“Now Bother Me No More For This Day”

September 21, 2022

Some years back (as social media helpfully reminded me today) I took a picture of my then toddler son looking suddenly exhausted right after he had managed to smear green cupcake frosting all over the lower half of his face. (I knew the cupcake was too big for him, but I dramatically underestimated the amount of mess he would make.)

But it was the caption I added to said picture that made me chuckle, because it’s a phrase I’ve revisited from time to time over the years since:

“Life . . . she is the mystery understood only by the clown of ennui.”

I Hate To Admit It, But This Is Almost A New Concept For Me

September 12, 2022

The word of the week is “sustainable,” as in “This course of action is not sustainable long-term.”

Fair Warning, I’m In One Of “Those” Moods Today

September 8, 2022

The other day I saw one of those inspirational messages that are ubiquitous on social media. This particular one was basically saying they were proud of anyone who that day or ever had pulled themselves out of a dark place mentally.

This is fine.

But my honest first response was, “Some of us call that moment ‘breakfast,’ you know!”

Granted, Those Two Often Go Hand In Hand

August 11, 2022

I don’t want to oversimplify things, but it’s not a “hard life,” per se, that drains the sparkle from the eyes and etches a permanent frown on the face, it’s resentment that does that.

I Feel Like I Just Lived An Analogy

June 8, 2022

We’ve had some flooding here recently (nothing dire . . . in our area, at least), and with that came the opportunity for me to potentially get a free canoe. I’m guessing someone didn’t secure it well before the storm (I certainly hope that’s what happened!), and it drifted onto my property. For all I know it was another gift from the water spirits.

However it got there though, I don’t need a canoe, and I certainly didn’t want to wade the flood waters to secure the thing, so I said “Thanks, but no thanks,” and left it where it was, figuring it looked pretty secure as is, and I could deal with it later once the water receded.

It was completely gone when I looked fifteen minutes later.

I’m Guessing Not That Many

May 20, 2022

Sometimes I wonder how many other people’s workdays are interrupted by a turtle laying eggs in the backyard.

Today’s Safety Tip (And Feel Better Soon)

May 10, 2022

While it’s okay advice to “grab with both hands what life gives you,” as a caveat, if what life is giving you is straight out of the oven, put on oven mitts first.

A Brief Review Of The Symphony Of My Soul Of Late

April 28, 2022

Too many notes, not enough silence between the notes.

It Worked For Winston Churchill

April 14, 2022

As I continue to teach my son about the values of patience and perspective, naturally I find my own patience and perspective being regularly tested, and this week has been a particularly challenging one on that front.

So much so that after numerous setbacks I found myself factiously thinking, “Maybe I need to aspire to become a functioning alcoholic because then at least I’d be functioning!”

“Is That Fair, I Ask You?”

March 31, 2022

Yesterday my son observed that (to paraphrase) it seems like in this world if you do ninety percent right, people will focus on the ten percent you did wrong.

He’s not entirely incorrect, of course (John Wilkes Booth will never be remembered for his acting skills, for instance), but I tried to convey to him that the scale of what you do right and wrong does tend to matter. To do so, I cleaned up (in a sense) an old joke I know:

A traveler was out hiking one day and got completely lost as it started to get dark. Before he lost the light entirely he noticed a finely made fence leading up the hillside. He followed the fence up to an equally well built cottage and knocked on the door.

“Excuse me,” the traveler said to the old man who opened the door. “I hate to bother you, but I’m lost and it’s too dark for me to find my way into town tonight, so could I stay with you until morning?”

“Of course!” the old man said. “I don’t get many visitors these days, so I’d appreciate the company. Did you find me by following the fence leading up here?”

“I did!” the traveler answered. “It’s a very nice fence.”

“I built that fence all by myself, you know,” the old man said with pride. “This cottage too, but never got any credit for it. Do they call me a master carpenter, no they do not!”

“Why is that?” the traveler asked.

“You know how it is,” the old man said with a shrug. “You kill and eat one hiker, and suddenly you’re ‘The Mountainside Strangler’ . . .”