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And in the not-news today, celebrity jerk is still a jerk!  Details to follow.

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Not My Idea Of A Good Morning

Me:  *Gets up, glances at the news playing on T.V., and counts no fewer than three innuendoes in the absence of facts over the course of a two minute “report”*

Me:  *Turning and walking away*  Nope . . .

Once Again Demonstrating “The Initiative”

Yesterday some chum bucket died of natural causes in the care of the California Department of Corrections.

(You can, of course, find more details if you care to look it up, but I still feel this is all that needs to be said.)

Some Days There Are No Words

*Get out of bed*

*Yawn*

*Check the news*

*Consider the relative merits of going back to bed*

*Admit that’s not a viable option*

*Focus on the day as much as possible while news feeds scream the updates on the latest pointless tragedy*

After Two Cups Full, I Was Ready To Go!

(No, the news isn’t cheery of late.  I’m not in denial . . . I’m being obstinate!)

Today I discovered that doing without morning coffee isn’t so bad when you substitute it with morning cookies provided you keep the doses the same.

Still Weird After All These Years

This bit of news just made me smile:

Experts who exhumed the body of Salvador Dalí to collect samples for use in a paternity claim have revealed that the enigmatic artist’s trademark moustache still graces his face almost three decades after he died.

You Know You’re Not Enjoying The Show When You Start Appreciating The Commercials

Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy that people are paying so much attention to what the President is doing.  People paying attention is a good thing.

With that said though, this is my actual thought process from just a few moments ago:

(While checking a news feed)  Huh . . . I think that’s the first time in over a week I’ve seen a headline that wasn’t about Trump one way or the other.  The break is kind of nice, actually. 

(Moves to check social media and sees that the first post is about how terrible Trump is.)  Annnnd we’re back to our regularly scheduled program . . .

“The Initiative” In Action

Last night I was out grocery shopping and was figuratively assaulted by all the headlines I saw on the newspapers.  Taking a deep breath, I implemented “The Initiative” and began translating said headlines.  (Though for the sake of public discourse, I substituted “chum bucket” for the original term.)

It actually helped a little bit.

An Idea Whose Time Has Come

The following link is NSFW due to language, but it sums up my reaction to the events in Orlando almost perfectly:

The NSFW link.

To make it perfect, I think the initiative should also be extended to anyone who attempts to use an event like this for their personal political soapbox.

This candle is for all the victims and their loved ones.

It’s An Open Question, So Feel Free To Take A Stab At It

I’ll grant it wasn’t trending on my news feed for very long, but even so, it’s been over two thousand years, so can someone please explain to me how the hell Julius Caesar and the Ides of March still counts as news?