“I’m Not Lying, THEY Are!”

*takes a deep breath*

*scans the news*

*sighs*

Do you ever get the feeling that the news these days is just one giant game of “Spot the Imposter“?

Ladies And Gentlemen . . . Welcome To Florida

(We interrupt our intended line of thought with this special announcement.)

I’m rarely at a loss for words, but learning that a full grown man tried to invoke the “stand your ground” defense over his killing of an iguana just has me gobsmacked today.

More Than Earned It, In Fact

For three days or so now people have been talking about how an old northerner dressed warmly because it was cold.

Oh, what the heck . . . enjoy. I think we’ve all earned some boring news for a change.

Even A Moment’s Reflection Would Have Made Me Realize This Was NOT The Way To Make Myself Feel Better

I’m feeling a little depressed today, and that’s making it hard to focus.  Maybe if I browse the headlines a bit I’ll . . . 

. . . wonder what in God’s name I was thinking?!

Unfollow

And in the not-news today, celebrity jerk is still a jerk!  Details to follow.

Not My Idea Of A Good Morning

Me:  *Gets up, glances at the news playing on T.V., and counts no fewer than three innuendoes in the absence of facts over the course of a two minute “report”*

Me:  *Turning and walking away*  Nope . . .

Once Again Demonstrating “The Initiative”

Yesterday some chum bucket died of natural causes in the care of the California Department of Corrections.

(You can, of course, find more details if you care to look it up, but I still feel this is all that needs to be said.)

Some Days There Are No Words

*Get out of bed*

*Yawn*

*Check the news*

*Consider the relative merits of going back to bed*

*Admit that’s not a viable option*

*Focus on the day as much as possible while news feeds scream the updates on the latest pointless tragedy*

After Two Cups Full, I Was Ready To Go!

(No, the news isn’t cheery of late.  I’m not in denial . . . I’m being obstinate!)

Today I discovered that doing without morning coffee isn’t so bad when you substitute it with morning cookies provided you keep the doses the same.

Still Weird After All These Years

This bit of news just made me smile:

Experts who exhumed the body of Salvador Dalí to collect samples for use in a paternity claim have revealed that the enigmatic artist’s trademark moustache still graces his face almost three decades after he died.