Posts Tagged ‘Open Mouth – Insert Foot’

I Feel So Special

March 2, 2016

I’ve mentioned before that L’s Mother has a . . . way with words, shall we say?  Last night she did it to me again.

Let me state up front that I do know what she meant; she meant “Let me wrap up this last minute work real quick, then I’m all yours.”

Even so, I found it . . . disheartening when I asked if she wanted to hang out for a few before it was time to sleep after she was done with work, to hear her assure me that I was “on her list almost near the top.”

Proof That You’re Never Too Old To Make A Rookie Mistake

April 24, 2013

(This story is, of course, told with prior consent from all involved.)

“I have a weird nose,(1)” Lala said as she considered herself in the mirror this morning.

Now, kids, this is the point where a smart man finds something interesting to do in another room, and that’s exactly what I should have done, and I most decidedly should not have said, “It’s a little on the big side, sure, but who am I to talk?”(2)

There was a moment’s silence, then I heard, “Wait!  I have a big nose?”  There was just enough pause at this point for me to have time to appreciate the full horror of my situation, then Lala wailed, “I do!  I have a big nose!”

Sadly, despite my prayers, Zeus couldn’t spare any thunderbolts in my direction, so there was no easy way out of my predicament either.

Fortunately, a quick example with a handy fedora and an improvised red scarf proved my point that not only who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? The Shadow knows!  But what nose is easily seen by the eyes of men? My Shadow nose!

Happily, that evened the score again, because, like I said, who am I to talk?

In fact, I’m giving serious consideration to not talking at all for a few days.

******

(1) She doesn’t.

(2)  “Oh, Rob . . . NO!” was L’s Mother’s horrified response at this point of my telling her this tale.