Posts Tagged ‘Parenthood’

It Took Me A Second, But I Got It

August 14, 2018

In part due to the aforementioned cloud over this house yesterday, I told L’s Mother that I was going to another room and shutting the door for a bit “until the urge to run away from home passes.”

To which she responded, “Do you want me to knock so you know when it’s passed?”

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Back To School 2018

August 13, 2018

Even though actual classes don’t start for us until tomorrow, you can feel the cloud over this house today.

I don’t mind that my son doesn’t love school; I didn’t exactly love it myself at his age.  Heck, for that matter I don’t exactly love it now, and I have direct experience to support my belief in the value of a good education!

To Pick A Completely Random Example And TOTALLY Not One From My Day . . . Or Maybe Not

August 8, 2018

Son, with a new school year coming up, if you can only master one social lesson this year, the lesson I would most like you to master is the one of recognizing the right times to keep your mouth shut, especially when you’re bored or otherwise unimpressed.

For example, if someone is getting ready to introduce you to someone else, and they just will not stop going on about how much you are going to “love” this person, the right thing to do is just to nod and smile.  Unless you know the speaker really well, no matter how tempting it is to go for the joke, do not verbalize your internal monologue of “You keep saying that, but I’m pretty sure we’re going to be ‘just friends’ at best.”

I Enjoyed That WAY Too Much!

July 30, 2018

People talk a lot about the “joys of parenthood,” and a lot of it is just that . . . talk.  Some of the real joys don’t get talked about much, like the joy of playing with your child when they’re acting out the role of the monster and they suddenly demonstrate the way to defeat said monster is to bean it three times in the head with a soft, squeaky dog toy like so . . .

All In All Though, It’s One Of The Easier Promises I’ve Ever Had To Keep

July 16, 2018

Last week I mentioned in passing to my son that Pluto had lined up with the orbital plane of the rest of the major planets of the solar system for the first time in 87 years, and that it would be 161 years until it does this again.

Unfortunately, I made the tactical error of doing this right before his bedtime, and the news thrilled him so much that an impromptu celebration had to be held on the spot and I had to promise to mention this fact in Candles & Curses before he could even think about sleep.

Even Stranger Days

July 9, 2018

Nothing in this life or any other has prepared me for my son’s current obsession with Super Mario Bros. . . . and he’s never even played the game!

(And I remember when I thought the Doctor Who resurgence was strange.)

An Ill Wind Blows Today

June 22, 2018

Arguing nutrition with a child is as effective as arguing meteorology with a hurricane.

This Is My Life Now

June 21, 2018

Me:  *looking up and seeing my son approaching even though he was completely concealed by the blanket he was holding*  Oh, look.  It’s a walking blanket.

My Son:  *covers me with said blanket*

Me:  It is now dark, so I shall go to sleep.  *makes snoring noises*

My Son:  *starts playing my head like it’s a drum*

Me:  I am being used as a percussion instrument, and am now awake.

My Son:  *removes the blanket, grins at me, then leaves without saying a word*

But I’m The Better For It, And You Will Be Too

June 20, 2018

Yes, son, I am adamant that your screen time is linked to your physical activity level.  No, you don’t “have” to do anything, but if you want screen time, you need to intersperse that time with active time, or there will be no screen time.

No, I don’t expect you are happy about that.  I certainly wasn’t when I introduced the same rule for myself.

I Stand Corrected

June 7, 2018

My son:  Hey, Dad.  I’m just watching a video, but I’m not going to watch all of it because I don’t want to waste my time.

Me:  You’re on your own time right now, so you can watch the whole video if you want.  You don’t have to call it a “waste of time” on my account.

My son:  It’s ten hours long.

Me:  That would be a waste of your time then!