Posts Tagged ‘Parenthood’

“Now Bother Me No More For This Day”

September 21, 2022

Some years back (as social media helpfully reminded me today) I took a picture of my then toddler son looking suddenly exhausted right after he had managed to smear green cupcake frosting all over the lower half of his face. (I knew the cupcake was too big for him, but I dramatically underestimated the amount of mess he would make.)

But it was the caption I added to said picture that made me chuckle, because it’s a phrase I’ve revisited from time to time over the years since:

“Life . . . she is the mystery understood only by the clown of ennui.”

I Think I Was His Age The Last Time I Even LOOKED At A Checkers Set

September 5, 2022

“Hey, Dad, will you play checkers with me?” my son asked me this morning.

“Give me just a few minutes,” I replied. “First I need to tell your mom something, feed the dog, and . . . learn how to play checkers.”

He’s Learning!

April 15, 2022

“Don’t come this way!” my son exclaimed as I walked into the room today. Before I could make a joke like I had last time though, he quickly added, “I wasn’t talking to you!”

At Least There’s A Common Link

February 17, 2022

When you’re a kid and you’re sick and you finally get out of bed, your parent says, “How are you feeling? Do you feel well enough to eat? Are you hungry?”

When you’re a parent and you’re sick and you finally get out of bed, your kid says, “Can you make me food?”

I Don’t Blame Them For That, But Still . . .

February 15, 2022

Of late a friend of mine has been taking great joy (a little too much joy, if you ask me) in reminding me to be “patient,” and I’m finding it a challenge to be patient with that.

I don’t consider myself an impatient person by nature, but it’s long been a sore point of mine that I’m not as patient (particularly as a parent) as I would like to be. I’d like to be remembered as a person with vast, even endless, reserves of patience, but that doesn’t seem likely at this point. I do have reserves of patience, I swear, but nobody but me ever really considers that until they run out.

I’m Not Sure What’s Going To Happen Next

December 3, 2021

Today my son reprimanded me for playing my music too loud.

He wasn’t wrong (it was that kind of song), but I still feel like a fundamental balance of the universe has been disrupted.

Or Vice Versa

September 20, 2021

Before I elaborate on what I referenced on Friday, let me just say the problem with asking a child to convey a message on your behalf is that you all too often when you say that you’re feeling “a little warm,” they message delivered is “They’re on fire!”

Sometimes I Wish I Was Just Making This Stuff Up

September 16, 2021

This morning L’s Mother pulled me into her arms, snuggled up against me and said, “Tonight we need to make sure that L. goes to bed on time because I’m really . . .” Her voice became husky here, almost a purr. “Sleepy,” she finished (without irony, I might add).

Just To Clarify

June 3, 2021

Before I got interrupted yesterday, I was planning to say that, for the record, while I consider ten way too young for that kind of language, I’m not foolish enough to believe my son doesn’t know it.

That Was Fair (And Funny)

May 28, 2021

I think it’s time for you to shut the “L” up now on that joke.

– My son, L, after me telling one too many “L” jokes the other day