Posts Tagged ‘Parenthood’

An Ill Wind Blows Today

June 22, 2018

Arguing nutrition with a child is as effective as arguing meteorology with a hurricane.

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This Is My Life Now

June 21, 2018

Me:  *looking up and seeing my son approaching even though he was completely concealed by the blanket he was holding*  Oh, look.  It’s a walking blanket.

My Son:  *covers me with said blanket*

Me:  It is now dark, so I shall go to sleep.  *makes snoring noises*

My Son:  *starts playing my head like it’s a drum*

Me:  I am being used as a percussion instrument, and am now awake.

My Son:  *removes the blanket, grins at me, then leaves without saying a word*

But I’m The Better For It, And You Will Be Too

June 20, 2018

Yes, son, I am adamant that your screen time is linked to your physical activity level.  No, you don’t “have” to do anything, but if you want screen time, you need to intersperse that time with active time, or there will be no screen time.

No, I don’t expect you are happy about that.  I certainly wasn’t when I introduced the same rule for myself.

I Stand Corrected

June 7, 2018

My son:  Hey, Dad.  I’m just watching a video, but I’m not going to watch all of it because I don’t want to waste my time.

Me:  You’re on your own time right now, so you can watch the whole video if you want.  You don’t have to call it a “waste of time” on my account.

My son:  It’s ten hours long.

Me:  That would be a waste of your time then!

I Wonder What He Thinks About Stock Market Trends In The Coming Weeks

June 1, 2018

My son:  *utilizing a toy as a makeshift crystal ball*  I can see into your future!

Me:  Good thing I’m in the market for a peek into my future then.

My son:  You shall . . . get very little sleep tonight.

Me:  Well that doesn’t sound very appealing!  Besides, I’ve been working to even out my sleep schedule lately, so barring an emergency, I’ll probably sleep just fine.

Me:  (Later, and still wide awake at 1:30 A.M.)  Huh.

Since I Controlled MY First Impulse, At Least One Of Us Got Some Practice Today

May 29, 2018

Today my son and I practiced impulse control.  He’d come into the room just as I’d finished folding my laundry, so I told him I’d be right with him, and to just leave my laundry alone while I walked ten steps into the hallway to put a towel away.  When I returned to the room, my shirts had already been tossed aside in a heap.

Elapsed time:  Maybe twenty seconds.

Here’s Something You Won’t Read In Any Parenting Books

May 23, 2018

“Careful, kiddo,” I admonished my son yesterday after he carelessly jostled me.  “The tea in my mug is still pretty hot, and I don’t want to spill it on me or you.”

“How badly would it hurt if you spilled it?” he asked.

Freshly sizing up the temperature of the mug in my hand, thus assuring myself that the tea wasn’t scalding, I stuck my finger in the tea.  “A little bit,” I answered after a moment.  “Not much, but it wouldn’t be comfortable.”

My son looked at me askance.  “Did you really just stick your finger in there?”

Appreciating his healthy skepticism, I demonstrated the trick again so he could see that I wasn’t trying to pull a fast one on him this time.

“Could I . . .?” he sort of asked, unsure of the words he wanted to use.

“Check the temperature of the side of the mug first to give you an idea of what you’d be getting into,” I advised him.  “Then . . . if you really want to . . . okay.”

After checking the mug, he carefully dunked his finger into my tea as well.  His eyes widened slightly, then he pulled his finger out and said, “That is hot.  I’ll be more careful next time!”

Lesson learned, for now, at least . . . and, yes, I still drank the rest of my tea.

Sometimes You Just Can’t Catch A Break

May 16, 2018

When I was a kid, my dad used to gripe constantly when we went to someplace like a theme park, so I promised myself I wouldn’t do that when I became a father.  And I’ve kept that promise.

Now when I go to a theme park, I get to listen my son’s constant griping . . .

This Has Been My Life Lately

May 15, 2018

My son:  This tastes like juicy water!  (Translation:  There’s too much water in his juice.)

Me:  That’s odd.  I was in a hurry this morning, so I didn’t add any water.

My son:  In that case it’s too sweet.  Can you add some water, please?

I’m Kidding!

April 24, 2018

After yesterday’s post, my Dad reached out to me with words of comfort, assuring me that in the end the efforts of parenthood bring great rewards.

I asked him to let me know when it starts being rewarding for him so I knew how long I had to wait . . .