Posts Tagged ‘Puns’

I’m Trying To Look Like An Angel As I Type This

January 13, 2022

Yesterday I was reminded of one of my favorite “inspiring a Google search to get the reference” jokes, and I wanted to record it here:

Back in the day I considered studying ancient Egyptian plumbing in college, but I decided the world didn’t need any more “Pharaoh Faucet Majors.”

After Due Consideration

November 29, 2021

I have to admit that I consider myself a considerate person, because be something good, bad, or just inappropriate . . . I’ll consider it.

It’s Actually A Remarkably Good Question

October 8, 2021

“I’m feeling off-kilter today,” L’s Mother announced yesterday. “Which now that I say that, I realize I know what that means, but not where the word comes from. What is a kilter, and what does “off-kilter” really mean?”

“Well, you see,” I answered with a chuckle. “When a Scotsman really, really likes you . . .”

And That Would Be One Of Them

August 25, 2021

“I just finished up a few rounds of bellows breath,” L’s Mother told me yesterday. “Not to be confused with Mister Bellows’ breath, of course,” she added with a grin.

Now friends and neighbors, there are few things sadder than dropping a reference some fifty odd years out of date and expecting someone else to get it, but sadder things do exist.

“It’s Doctor Bellows‘ breath,” I corrected her.

I Think She Was Making A Joke, But It Was Greek To Me

October 26, 2020

This needs to stop before this gets even an iota worse!

– L’s Mother upon hearing of the formation of Tropical Storm Zeta

I Hadn’t Heard That One Before, So I’m Glad I Let Him “Babble-On” For A Bit

January 6, 2020

Today as part of our first day back to school following the break, my son and I were discussing ancient civilizations and the importance of rivers when he asked me if I wanted to hear a joke.

I told him I wanted to stay focused on what we were talking about, but he assured me it related, so I (reluctantly) told him to go ahead.

“As I learned from The Mister Peabody Show,” he announced, “sometimes even the Queen of ‘De-Nile‘ needs to let out her inner ‘Tigris.'”

She Actually Swore At Me For That One, So I Know She Appreciated It

November 27, 2019

To put it simply, L’s Mother likes talking about food, and I prefer eating food to talking about it.  Even so, I do my best to stay engaged when she’s on the topic, and that’s no joke, but the longer the conversation goes on, the more likely it becomes that a joke will be told.

L’s Mother forgot this recently, and was completely unprepared when I said, “Speaking of tempeh, the other day I read that someone is trying to create a tempeh-derived milk substitute.  They’ve had a promising start, but it may be years before they get a viable final product.”

“Really?” L’s Mother asked me.

“Yes, really,” I assured her.  “It could happen someday, but right now it’s a long, long way to tempeh-dairy.”

I’d Hoped At Least One Of Them Would Say “Wait . . . What?”

November 20, 2019

Last night when I warned Lala and L’s Mother that it was going to get a little cool (relatively speaking) in the “ennui” hours of the morning, it actively bothered me they both instantly knew what I was talking about.

I Woke Up Thinking This Today. I REALLY Hope I Read It Somewhere

March 27, 2019

How do church towers in Ireland lose weight?

They go on a “bell fast.”

Groan All You Want, I’m Proud Of That One

October 30, 2017

And to start the week, one of my jokes:

The other night we were having penne for dinner, and L’s Mother asked him what he thought of it.

“It’s good,” he said.

“It’s the last from that bulk mix of pastas I bought a while back,” she told him.  “Since you like it, I’ll be sure to buy more.”

“In other words,” I interjected.  “In for a penne, in for a pound.”